I learned how to swim when I was around 7 years old. Before then, I had no experience with swimming other than at water parks, I was actually very afraid. I didn’t know how to hold my breath and breathe out under the water, and had this irrational fear that no matter what, I was going to sink.

After 2nd grade was over, during the summer my grandma, brother, and I took  trip back to China. It was a nice change of scenery and good opportunity to hang out with relatives there. I stayed at my aunt’s house with her husband and daughter.

They lived by my cousin’s high school. They had a pool there and it was opened to the public during certain hours on the weekdays. Many people in the community went there to exercise, or just to socialize. During the summer there were swim classes during the day for various age groups, and open swim at night.

My aunt suggested that my brother and I learned how to swim. She was friends with the instructor and it was a good activity to keep us busy during our two month stay. She said, after we got the hang of it, we could swim together during open hours with my cousin; she was a competitive swimmer for her school. We were excited to learn something new and cool, and then have more fun after!

First day of class I was dressed in my little tutu swimsuit, marched in there, confident and ready to conquer the waters. As I walked past the pool to the shallow side, I couldn’t help but notice the darker blue for the deep end. It felt.. so ominous. When I got to the other side, I saw that the instructor was a massive man- he had a lot of muscles and was loud. There were about fifteen kids bouncing in the pool already, and the instructor was splashing water on all of them. They were laughing and having fun, it made me even more excited!

When my foot dipped into the pool, boy was it cold. I tried to sit on the edge to warm up, but my grandma pushed me in. It was cold. “Go go go! Join the other kids! Have fun!” She promised she would get me in an hour when class ended, and walked off.

I was standing there, shivering. Some water got into my nose but I didn’t know how to get rid of the feeling! It felt like I couldn’t breathe so I inhaled harder for breath. It only made me feel worse-like soda going up my nose!

I began walking around- the pool was only 3ft deep and I followed the other kids. Walking- trying to walk, actually. It was hard to move with half my body under water. As I looked around, the pool seemed to have expanded in all directions. The other side looked so far…

“Alright! Let’s get started! Hello everyone! My name is [teacher], and we’ll be practicing how to put your face underwater today!”

The kids started yelling in excitement. “Me first! Me first!” The kids crowd around him. What are they so excited about? I want to join!!

The instructor picks up the first kid, and he…. throws him into the pool. Like a freaking RKO. The kid emerges from under, screaming. “YESSSS! AGAIN!”

I am. Freaking out. Internally.

My legs lock. I don’t feel the cold anymore. In fact, I don’t feel anything except numbness. Then, my body regained its senses. My confusion of what just happened turned into a sour realization. This is how I’m going to learn how to breathe underwater?! Absolutely not! I start running (sorry, trying to run) to the stairs to get out. My legs feel like jello, they’re not moving fast enough against the pressure of the water. Oh man, I’m almost there, I’m almost at the edge!-

“Hello, new student. You’re [aunt’s] niece yeah? Your turn, let’s go!” My heart stops and my involuntary reflexes kick in. I’m kicking. I’m kicking my instructor, writhing in his strong grip, trying to escape. He’s ready to throw me. I’m screaming no please let me go I’ll go last let the other kids go first but- SPLASSHHHH!!

It was a different world underwater. It’s as if someone took the remote and muted the world. My screams were replaced with the bubbles escaping from me. I sounded like a fish glub glub glub glub. It was pretty cool, actually, until I tried to take a breath.

The ‘air’ was so heavy. It was suffocating me. I couldn’t speak, breathe, nor think. I thought I was going to die right then, but the instructor pulled me out of the water. I was so shaken, I couldn’t say anything.

“See? It wasn’t so bad, was it? Next!” The other children push past me to him, like pigeons they gathered around to be thrown.

It was awful. I was terrified, and asked to use the bathroom. I stayed there until class was over. When my grandma picked me up, I cried and said I never wanted to go back.

Long story short- they didn’t give me an option to quit. I drank so much water that summer I evolved into a fish. Eventually I learned how to hold my breath to not let water in and blow bubbles out through my nose.

But man, that was a wild first class and those kids were even wilder.