During today’s class, you will each have an opportunity to peer review one skills-based resume, one experience-based resume, and one job application letter. It is your responsibility to find others in class with these documents that you can exchange for peer review. Do restrict yourselves to two-person exchanges. You might need to exchange documents between three people so that there is no odd person out.
For each document that you review, you will write a brief memo. This memo will be emailed to the author of the document that you are reviewing AND you will copy-and-paste it into a comment made to this blog post. At the end of class, you should have emailed three memos and made three comments to this blog post.
When you receive a classmate’s document printout, initial it at the top of the page.
Read the author’s document carefully and have the example documents available on OpenLab open on your screen for reference.
Write a memo addressed to the author of the document that you are reviewing. Your memo should contain these things: memo information block, a one sentence introduction (you are providing feedback on x document by y person), and between 5-10 bullet points written in complete sentences/paragraphs that provide suggestions, comments, questions, directions, and guidance for improving the document that you are reading. Remember: No document is perfect and can always be improved upon. Let Simon Cowell be your spiritual guide in this respect.
Again, remember to email each memo to the author of the document reviewed, and copy-and-paste your memo into a comment made to this blog post. Do not put all of your memos into the same comment. Instead, make a separate comment for each memo that you write.
TO: Scotte Ng
FROM: Rakesh Nadendla
SUBJECT: Peer review for job application letter
DATE: March 16, 2017
Hello Scotte, my name is Rakesh and I reviewed your job application letter and found many grammatical letters, as well as sentences that can be taken away to give a reader a better understanding of you. For example, in the second sentence, you tell Mr. Ruppert that he needs teachers who is able to teach multiple positions, but instead of positions, you put “position.” You also don’t need to mention that you’re interested in the position, because that’s obvious to the employer since they have your resume. Instead of using words like “too”, you can substitute them into words like “As well” to sound more professional. The letter seems to give a good message but I think it would give an even better message once you proofread and fix the mistakes I mentioned above. Good luck!
TO: Thania Miah
FROM: Bianca Campbell
DATE: March 16,2017
SUBJECT: Cover letter review
I bianca campbell am providing feedback on your cover letter.
In the first paragraph you didn’t list your three reasons for why you would be the ideal candidate
I think in paragraph two third sentence i think instead of writing “For my computer science field” you should put in the computer science field because it sounds more professional.
In paragraph three first sentence i think you should say that by having past experience in communication due to my past jobs i would excel in this field
In the last paragraph take out the line” i am still wondering if it is possible to meet with you…”
In the last line take out hope and just write i look forward to meeting with you
TO: Thania Miah
FROM: Shinquella Glasgow
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Review Feedback
From reviewing this document I can conclude that you have a lot of experience in the technical field. Furthermore, I personally believe that the experience based resume is a perfect fit to show a potential employer. There were only a few things that I would personally change on your resume. The things I would change are :
Be consistent with punctuation.
Use past and present tense consistently
Make sure you put addresses for all past employees
Add an email address for references
Add your address to your resume
I noticed your past and present tenses were different with each sentence in your bullet points and also that there was only one period at the end of your resume. Other than these things, this is an excellent resume.
TO: Bianca Campbell
FROM: Jodieann J. Stephenson
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Review
First, great first attempt on writing a job letter to HarperCollins Co.! It is good to keep in mind that before you submit any work it is important to double check. In the section where you mentioned HarperCollins Co, it is important to capitalize the C just as the company does on their website, they will be offended if you don’t capitalize it. Also, in their address did you purposely add in a comma because there was additional information such as the floor or was it an accident.
Moving unto the body of your letter, you should let should find a HR contact so you can address the letter to them directly rather than addressing the company as a whole, it will show that you have done research. The role that is being advertised is for an “Assistant/Associate Editor” you need to list 3 examples of how you have worked as an editor rather than examples about babysitting. You mentioned several great skills like leadership skills, communication and having confidence, you should think about stronger examples that highlight these skills.
Lastly, it is important to mention something that you admire about the company that you are applying to work because it will show that you took initiative to finding more about the company and how you can contribute.
Sincerely,
Jodieann
TO: Bianca Campbell
FROM: Shinquella Glasgow
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Review Feedback
The purpose of this memo is to provide feedback about your resume. Your resume was wonderful and did highlight all of the skills that you possessed in an organized manner. The layout of the resume was also very interesting and appealing to the eye. There were only a few things I would personally change. The things I would change are:
Adding more bullet points
Check spelling for your whole document
Be consistent with past and present tense
Be consistent with capitalization
Do not mention your high school degree
I noticed the first job mentioned had a typo within the bullet points. I also noticed that your skills and accomplishments could be consistent with past and present tense. We also discussed in class that you may not want to mention your high school degree. Nevertheless, this is an impressive resume.
TO: Jodieann Stephenson
FROM: Bianca Campbell
DATE: March 16,2017
SUBJECT: Skill based resume review
I Bianca campbell am providing feedback on you skill based resume.
I think you should add spacing between the titles and the past job
I think you should edit the lining of your resume so that the dates stay together.
I think you should put a space between education and the communication intern list
I think that you should bring the title of the job and the date together to save space
I think that you should edit your spacing as the first page looks compacted with words.
TO: Scotte Ng
FROM: Jodieann J. Stephenson
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Review
First, great first attempt at writing a job letter to Fusion Academy! I know that writing a cover letter can be very challenging and at times scary. I am glad that you found out whom you should write to directly. I know that you are submitting this to the class but also keep in mind that you should treat this letter as a letter going directly to the CEO. It is important to delete the mention of (first paragraph) and (closing), it makes your resume seem unpolished. Also, you need to break up the first paragraph because it is too massive, it seems overwhelming to any reader. It is important to mention 3 points in your first paragraph that you can use to create 3 mini paragraphs with those points.
Second, it is important to use action verbs in your cover letter so that the HR recruiter or the CEO is interested in your piece. Upon mentioning Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint, it is important to remember that these should all be capitalized rather than lowercase. You mention that public speaking is one of your strong suit; I would love if you could expand upon that and provide the reader with an example.
Sincerely,
Jodieann
TO: Chaunce Taylor
FROM: Shinquella Glasgow
DATE: MArch 6, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Review Feedback
The purpose of this memo is to provide constructive feedback on your resume. From reading your resume, I can conclude that you work with a lot of community based sports programs which benefits your goal of working in the field of technical writing in sports. I also liked the layout of your resume. There were very minor things that I would change with your resume and they are:
Be consistent with capitalization
Try to make your resume 2 pages
Be consistent with your layout
Do not underlie email addresses
Be consistent with spacing
I noticed at the end of your resume that there were skills that were not in the table like the other skills you listed. I also noticed that the resume was 2 pages long. I would recommend changing the font or removing some things. I personally had this same issue. Asides from these thing, the resume was very well written.
TO: Chaunce S. Taylor
FROM: Rakesh Nadendla
SUBJECT: Peer review for skills-based resume
DATE: March 16, 2017
Hello Chaunce, My name is Rakesh and im going to be reviewing your skills based resume today.
• “OBJECTIVE” should be in a higher size font
• Work experience is not related to the career objective
• What does leadership have to do with technical writing?
• Resume needs to be a little more organized, everything looks squished together
• Try to make the “skills and accomplishments” section relate more to the career objective. For example, if you wrote a review on a book, or a book itself, include it.
TO: Shinquella Glasgow
FROM: Bianca Campbell
DATE: March 16,2017
SUBJECT: Skill based resume review
I Bianca campbell am providing feedback on you skill based resume.
I think you should space out you references
I think you should edit the lining of professional societies
I think you should edit the lining of all headings
I think you should bring objective up a space
I think you should bring education up a line because the spacing throws of the resume
TO: Shinquella Glasglow
FROM: Thania Y. Miah
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Review Memo
I am giving feedback on a job application letter by Shinquella.
Instead of writing “To whom it may concern” find out the person you’re addressing this letter to and address them by name
Provide space between your address and the employer’s address
Provide some background knowledge on the company you’re applying to. Show that you’ve done your research on the company
Explain how what you’re majoring in will help you with this job, what have you learned so far in college and how can you apply it to this work field
Provide certain classes you’ve taken that you think will make you a better asset of their company
Upon leaving your signature, always leave a few black spaces after you write sincerely so you can physically sign your name followed by your name printed
Briefly explain what TCIS is and what it stands for
Elaborate briefly on what kind of work you’ve done since you were 17 in the education field
TO: Jodieann J. Stephenson
FROM: Thania Y. Miah
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer review memo
I am providing feedback on a experience based resume by Jodieann.
Try to keep the resume to one page, use smaller font to make everything fit
Provide any additional work experience
Double check for any typed errors (extra bullet point under grey group, commas, grammatical errors)
Space out the references so it’s easier to read
TO: Bianca Campbell
FROM: Thania Y. Miah
DATE: March 16,, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Editing Memo
I am providing feedback on Bianca’s resume.
Try to keep your name, address, and contact information together in one place so that way it looks more organized
Check for spelling errors
Be more elaborate on what you did for that job. What were your tasks etc..
Use more of a complex language when describing duties that were assigned to you on the job that way it’ll look more professional
For this resume you don’t necessarily need to include your high school education, just college education will suffice
Keep everything in one color
Eliminate “white space” page looks fairly empty, keep things close together
Change the margin from centered to on the left side, it gives it a cleaner look
Elaborate on your skills more, more than just one short sentence
TO: Scotte Ng
FROM: Thania Y. Miah
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Resume Memo
I am providing feedback on Scotte’s resume.
Elaborate more on your skills. Yes, you’ve written down what you did for that job but expand on what skills did you gain from working where you did.
If the resume is going to be a combination of both skills and experience don’t just put your experiences down include skills
Do not include your interests because that seems a bit unprofessional for a resume
Include references on your resume
Add any volunteer work or other certifications/awards you’ve earned
To: Shinquella Glasgow
From: Chaunce Taylor
Date: 3/16/2017
Subject: Peer Review
Good things about the resume: You employment resume is strong; everything was in the right place from where you first worked to recent. You described what you did at each work site with a clear-cut description. Your references part of the resume is in correct order from Name to email. I could clearly tell that this is you canned Answer resume.
Things to Work On: Your objective seems vague in comparison to your work experience I was wondering what type of place you was trying to work at. Second, I would add more activities that relate to the employment history. Separate References and Make Font bigger.
TO: Chaunce Taylor
FROM: Jodieann J. Stephenson
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Peer Review
First, great first attempt at writing a job letter to Squarespace Inc.! Squarespace seems like such a fantastic company to work for as a Technical Writer. Please try to limit your cover letter to one page because recruiters will not read more than that. I liked the way you introduce yourself because it made you seem compassionate because you like to help others. I really liked that you shared your experience as a youth counselor because it showed leadership.
Overall, looking at your resume, I noticed there were many mistakes with the verbs that you used. There is a fantastic site called “https://www.grammarly.com/” where you can double check to see if you have made any mistakes in your cover letter. It will help you to write more effectively.
Sincerely,
Jodieann
TO: Thania Miah
FROM: Scotte Ng
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Reviewing
Hi this is Scotte Ng and I am providing feedback for your resume document.
In your document I think you need to organize everything a lot better. This document can be improved by spacing everything and some things just look randomly out of place. I think the spacing is a huge problem especially when the bullet points are little spaced and not underneath the statement. Most importantly you want to move the header up a little because information is super valuable in a resume so therefore you want to all the white space that you possibly can. You should probably work on organization the most because when I look at this document it looks a tad sloppy and awkward when I look at it. In the skills set you should probably label them under the document to make it more clear for us to know what you did for what job exactly.
TO: Shinquella Glasgow
FROM: Scotte Ng
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Reviewing
Hi this is Scotte Ng and I am reviewing Shinquella Glasgow’s Resume document.
In your resume it has a lot of good details. The organization is a little bit messy. In your resume I think the major things need to be spaced right down the middle and underneath comes the text and information. Mostly you should add bullet points to your statements. In terms of spacing you should align the resume like you did with the objective and your contact information. I think that you’re resume is very good however the organization needs work and make sure you align your text.
TO: Jodieann J Stephenson
FROM: Scotte Ng
DATE: March 16, 2017
SUBJECT: Reviewing
Hi this is Scotte Ng and I am reviewing Jodieann J Stephenson’s cover letter.
In your cover letter I think it’s probably one of the best I’ve seen and it’s very clearcut. It’s very organized and well done. I think the only thing I can include is that you should write at the bottom to include your resume. You could probably improve the header and you should probably include your name. Overall I think it’s really well done and I can’t find anything to really improve on.