PRACTICE 1

Lili Velez’s excerpt starts off incredibly strong, its very straight to the point as it is descriptive. However, what stood out to me the most was how much she tries to establish this level of sympathy for any reader. She makes sure that the reader knows how involved they can be from the very beginning when she uses the pronoun “we”, this immediately lets the reader know that although she is the center of attention, you can self insert yourself in her main point very easily. Lilli then follows this up by using real-world examples such as ā€œI wish I had known Iā€™d need this!ā€ and “a high school test on Hamlet”, by doing this she is not only giving the reader a deeper level of sympathy but also directing them into the setting of a classroom to introduce them to the second half of the excerpt. Shes essentially created a roller coaster in her text, and the reader is flying past every direction she takes them to. Towards the middle of the expert, she begins to ask questions, by doing this she furthers the reader’s engagement with her sympathetic text and allows them to feel more involved in the text.

PRACTICE 2

I like the way you automatically set up the setting and characters involved in your excerpt, while also establishing the motives behind why the characters are in this setting. It’s almost breathtaking how you can do all of this in only a sentence

I like how you personify the animals in this excerpt, this not only adds more engagement between the reader and the animals, but it also furthers the plot of the story.

I like how you finish the excerpt, you grow the setting in a natural manner by grounding the reader in a realistic place, and establish the driving point of your story. A really strong finish to a great story

 

I personally like feedback rather than praise as well as the satisfaction of knowing that my reader understood and connected with my text. Our honesty can sometimes hurt, but it allows us to further expand on any undiscovered talents we may have, so I think its extremely important to note what someone could’ve done better. However, I’m also someone that tries to write as clear and concise as in hopes that the reader can find a connection between my grammar, style, and main point. This way their feedback can feel more honest and I can feel like I’ve succeeded with my goal as a writer.