Category: Portfolio & Reflection (Page 4 of 5)

If I had the time to revise unit 1, something that I would do is to add more details to my story and to check my grammar. I would also revise my conclusion. Something that my classmates mentioned was to create more contrast in my story line. It would’ve been better if I mentioned why some classes were not as good as the one I was writing about and how it affected me.  Also, I should be less repetitive in my writing so that the reader doesn’t get bored. I would incorporate these things so that my paper is more put together and more clear in what I am trying to say.

In Unit 1’s assignment, I made many grammar mistakes, such as sentence fragments, and I believe that’s one of the issues I would fix during my revision. By correcting it, I would see where to place a period or add a different punctuation. Another mistake I made when my classmates pointed that out was creating a clear transition in the storyline; as we know, the setting is critical for the reader to gain context and understand what is happening. By addressing this, I would need to add a transition from school to my internship, either saying where I head after I finish school or perhaps removing it and starting a new paragraph with dialogue [this is based on my story].

For Unit 1 I would like to revise my lack of detail in some of the aspects of my writing. I feel as though I rushed through some of the key details that led to my conclusion.  My professor and colleagues both mentioned the part of my COVID experience lacking detail and I would agree but I also feel as though it would take away from my main point. I would like to come to a compromise somehow and include enough details about that event that occurred during my educational journey but also not too many that distract from my main point. I also would like to revise the ending of my narrative because it also seemed rushed and like it didn’t have a proper ending and it seemed like I just wanted to get the writing over with. Besides that, I feel like I can also fix up some of my vocabulary and word choices to make it a little easier and smooth to read through.