If I were to revise my RAB map I would honestly work on strengthening my conclusion. I went to the writing center and was helped with my map just to touch up some things and the person that helped me also noticed that I had a weak and rushed through conclusion. There were also other aspects like my choice of words, I think this is a recurring problem and I’m most likely going to tweak some of those aspects once I get to revise. Another thing that came up while revising was my confusion with the reflection and rhetorical analysis, I would make these sections a little easier to comprehend since now I know how to write them out more clearly.
Author: Leslie De La Cruz (Page 1 of 7)
For Unit 1 I would like to revise my lack of detail in some of the aspects of my writing. I feel as though I rushed through some of the key details that led to my conclusion. My professor and colleagues both mentioned the part of my COVID experience lacking detail and I would agree but I also feel as though it would take away from my main point. I would like to come to a compromise somehow and include enough details about that event that occurred during my educational journey but also not too many that distract from my main point. I also would like to revise the ending of my narrative because it also seemed rushed and like it didn’t have a proper ending and it seemed like I just wanted to get the writing over with. Besides that, I feel like I can also fix up some of my vocabulary and word choices to make it a little easier and smooth to read through.
When thinking about incorporating religion into your household you should stop and think about how it may change and affect your family both positively and negatively. In most cases people look for peace when involving themselves in religion but when a family is attending not all members may agree with what is being discussed, this may cause a disconnect and tension between family members. A podcast called The Broski Report by Brittany Broski goes into depth about how religion changed her family dynamic and described how it impacted her first hand, “Not only have I left the church but I resent how it made me feel about myself about being a woman in my Womanhood and my desires that are very natural and my prerogatives and my life choices and my philosophies” (33:37). This goes to show how sometimes choosing religion over your family isn’t always the right fit and it should incline you to look further into what may help your family thrive better. Everyone has different beliefs and it is important that you let your kids have a say and a voice to advocate for their own feelings when you’re including them in something as important as religion.
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