Thiek  Lindo 

Shitty first draft 




Any time i found myself struggling i think about my cousin his words still live through me even without him being here physically our faviorte quote to live by “You can depressed and still get things done its called being a man” 

 

School has always been a uphill battl;e for me i never struggled academically i got lost in the expectations of others i lost sight of who i was and what me being me meant to the people around me growing up i was a talkative child like many always quick to involve myself and always playful this stuck with me in elementary and middle school my teachers labeld me as talkative and disruptive and that me talking was no help to the people around me i remember feeling like a burden to my family and friends the death of my cosuin would push me to going mute and as a child having some much emotion and having no one to speak to would challenge anyone mentally in class i quickly went ftom the talative and distrcuve kid to a shell of myself being isolated from my peers.

 

I was unhappy but i thought me listening to my teacher and helping the people around me by keeping to myself was doing justice for others i sunk i was drowning in pain in middle school i would meet my closest friend aneki and he pushed me to become more talkative he invited me to get up during group presentations and he would pick on me to read or explain next I disliked it until i realized he was helping me break out of the shell of myself i became who i used to be the happier version of me i became more vulnerable and understanding of my feelings and the feelings of everyone around me.

 

I started to take que to the factors of mental health as time went on i would reach out to my friends and through communication i was able to make them more vulnerable to open about their trauma and problems i love the example of were all drowning on a boat together but no one knows how to help eachother thats how i felt about my friends family and community wondered why school didnt take this into thought why dont we learn about the importance of mental health learning to talk why does school push you into becoming a shell of yourself i started wanted to help my friends and community be able to speak and use their voice to inspire and to help others to notice themselves drowning in the thoughts they keep quiet but recognizing life doesn’t have to be that way and creating the skills to better the situation.

 

I picked up a different perspective about school sometimes school can ruins a child best abilities sometimes school can keep a child from reaching their full potential I think to myself who would I have become if I let the words of other people decide who I’m going to be when I wake up tomorrow but for some people it’s not as easy I’ve seen the most energized people most talkative and ingaged people get told they have adhd they need to be more quiet these words and judgements of who you are already given to you even if you never asked for it just by expressing yourself I think actions like this have changed our community for the worst we are now in a generation where suicide is the highest mental health and depression has taken over the youth and the educational system is leading in stress and cause of depression why do we feel as teenagers we are unable to use our voice.

 

Beginning my 11th grade year of high school my closet friend would past away and quickly I would start to be able to see and feel the emotions of wanting to give up I think this was a period in time where God gave me the answer to my question and instead of him showing me the answer through another person he made me feel it for myself I became distant from schoolwork lest attentive in class but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be there it was the fact I was already struggling to uphold my battle at home school became a place where I could walk away from my thoughts for 6-7 hours of the day and not have to worry about what I was going through this wasn’t easy for me teachers would tell me all the things I was doing terrible all the things I could be doing better and that if I kept up the way I was acting maybe I wouldn’t reach where I wanted to.

 

This pushed me away from school completely the most negative things were always thrown into the light while the fact I was still trying wasn’t even being looked at I decided to ignore every single comment I got from anyone if it didn’t have my best intentions at heart I focused on using my voice to help others I wasn’t willing to let me and the people on my boat drown because there is a way I connected to the youth to my community and school I held gatherings and events and social clubs I was recognized by the mayor of mount veron and she helped push my agenda further “the importance of your own vocal frequency “ a kid with my background  being from harlem being colored being judged by my environment the same talkative and destructive child is now using is talkative to voice to reconstruct his community and environment we were able to hold a event and stop the gun violence in harlem for 1 full day no reported gun violence happened by the youth I was able to get Local artist to come speak to the youth about mental health being more vulnerable and understanding to be who you are regardless of who doesn’t agree with it wether it’s school friends or family stay true to who you are and use the same things people shun you for to be better .