Growing up, I was a triathlete. I played basketball, football, baseball, and even soccer from 6th grade to 10th grade. I was an Asphalt Green All-Star during that time. However, my sports journey took a different turn when my family expected me to pursue a career in baseball or football. I started losing confidence due to overthinking and taking my coaches’ words too seriously. Despite being capable of excelling in anything I focused on, my mental struggles began affecting my performance on and off the field.

Rather than attending Cardinal Hayes, a top 10 football high school in New York, I opted to stay at my regular high school. This allowed me to explore my identity as an individual. It became evident to me that my tendency to overthink and let external opinions affect me was a persistent issue. I questioned why I hadn’t paid attention to my emotions earlier or sought help from my coaches or sports director regarding the mental battles I faced.

I realized that my reluctance to open up and fear of appearing weak or vulnerable stemmed from societal expectations of men. It felt like being confined in a box with no way out. I began discussing my feelings and concerns with my peers. To our surprise, these conversations in the locker room, initially lasting 30 minutes, often extended into 2-hour discussions. Sharing our mindsets and stories revealed how the coaches’ words had belittled our characters and made us feel inadequate.

Despite our shared path, similar stories, and a successful record of 9-1 with top 3 rankings every year, we all grappled with the same mental challenges. While the coaches may not have been right in how they spoke to us, I realized that it was our attachment to their words that was holding us back. Sometimes, it’s best to ignore the negativity and focus on the positive aspects.

This revelation had a positive impact on my school life. I discovered that there were peers around me who felt the same way, regardless of the anxiety and tension they experienced. This realization extended to college, where everyone initially seemed shy and anxious. However, as we got to know each other, it became clear that we were all in the same boat, facing similar fears and insecurities. It taught me that I was never alone, and there were always people who shared my thoughts and feelings, no matter the environment.