Shitty 1st Draft

(Shitty) 1st Draft

Education can mean many different things to everyone, for some a battle, a privilege, a dream, a destination, or even a burden. But for me my education has been one of my main sources of hope, hope for a better life.

My earliest memory of education was a comforting, safe thought and feeling for me. I loved pre-school and my teacher, Ms. Salina, was like my mummy at school. I was excited to wake up dressed, get my hair done and walk to pre-school with my great grandfather who we lovingly called ‘grandfather’. He was strong, agile, and loving male figure in my life and at four years old I thought he would live forever, little did I know he was already eighty-five years. School was my happy place and an adventure. Our mornings started off with morning prayers then (my favorite) a nature walk which happened in park that was located next to a huge football field. The vibrant green grass sparkled as they were covered in dew, the brilliant sunshine kissed our faces and warmed our little bodies. We played and observed the animals in the pastures, I admired the cows, donkey, and stray dogs but the highlight for me were the beautiful fluttering wings of a variety of birds hopping from tree to tree. The towering trees housed keskidees, hummingbirds and the savannah had the infamous lily-white savannah birds. Ms. Salina embodied for me a discovery into a new world. A world where the quiet, reserved me used drawing, painting, crafts, singing and expressing myself verbally as an avenue to grow, socialize and learn about myself while feeling safe.
My love and enthusiasm for school continued for the next two years in ‘first year’ and ‘second year’ (this is the name for the next two levels of schooling in Trinidad and Tobago). My mother, father and teachers challenged and rewarded me to study, write, read, think critically and ‘learn my work’. I took pride in that. I studied and read every day and even started loving doing it. I soon realized I was getting top marks in my class. My report book at the end of the term was filled with A’s and A+’s. My parents were overjoyed and celebrated my success by taking me to KFC and for ice-cream, even trips to the mall. However, this joy was not shared everywhere and with everyone, especially not with my teachers then. By second year, I was known as one of the ‘bright girls’ but my teacher, Ms. Hassan, always put me at the back of the class to sit and found any reason to scold me even though my exercises were correct, I answered correctly when called upon and I was quiet. I noticed some days my mother will come to class to meet with Ms. Hassan and there will be a little quarrel about the work I did that was correct and the teacher marked incorrect. I existed in my happy bubble, and nothing took my joy, I loved school, and I loved my teacher. But all good things come to an end they say. I did my final exam to move up to standard one (elementary school) and I got an A+ on the exams but on the day of promotion to standard one I was placed in the B class when I earned my spot in the A class. This was my shock into the reality of racism. Apparently, some people who had some power, had the idea that education and success was for fair skinned, straight hair children whose parents had prominent jobs. It was for children who were pure East Indian race, but I was of mixed race/ heritage (African, East Indian and Spanish) with one working class parent. This is when a paradigm shift happened in my head and this became my lifelong battle for equality and to prove I belong, I deserve, I am worth it just like everyone else and not because of your superficial standards.

I am a hamster on a wheel, this is how I felt for many years. Term after term, year after year, my major concern was to keep my parents and family pleased with me, so I kept up my grades. But I really didn’t know why I couldn’t just stay home and read my favorite storybooks and novels. And not think about homework, assignments, running to class on time and combing my hair every morning. We were told by adults and teachers that education is the key to success, education is the only way out of poverty and when you educate yourself you can become anything. I was still puzzled, my question was am I doing it, am I doing it now, how is it that I don’t have a better home with my own bedroom, with all the fancy store bought snacks, why I don’t have cable TV or endless outfits and shoes for every occasion? Why didn’t my parents have cars and are not professionals? I soon came to learn, however, that education was an ongoing process. It was a concept and idea that could become a reality if you are dedicated and if you invested your best efforts studying over years and years. The higher the level of education you attain the more rewarding, financially, the job opportunities for yourself in the future. My view on education continued to shape as I grew older for example, I learnt that you could have an education and all the qualifications but as a woman you need support, you need to reach out for assistance because the birth of a child, or two or three becomes/ requires your immediate and undying attention, financial support and love which can be all encompassing. A situation like this can derail your education or your ability to work even though it could be your dream job, if you don’t have support, it can seem impossible to move forward. This is not an issue that affects only women, but men too can be affected however I feel that women feel the brunt of childcare the most.

In the early years of my life, I thought attaining an education would give you the power to change the world. I remember doing Social-Studies in standard one and learning about Dr. Eric Willaims, the founding father of my home country of Trinidad and Tobago. Dr. Eric Williams was born and bred in Trinidad, he attended a prestigious high school called Queen’s Royal College, (an all-boys school and I attended the sister high school). He graduated with distinction and went on to study law. In his very last job before he fully migrated back to Trinidad and Tobago, he was a professor at Harvard University. He was responsible for petitioning the Queen of England, with the help of others, for our country to become an independent twin island state. This tumultuous journey ended on the 31st of August 1962 when we gained our independence from the Queen. So, I thought at the age of seven I had to do something as great as this to be considered a success, but education still felt very elusive to me. Soon after this he went on to be our first Prime Minister. At the age of seven this led me to think I had to do something as great as this to be considered educated and a success but the whole idea of an education was still elusive to me. It wasn’t until around thirteen years when I learnt that one of my older, second cousin who was a lawyer was offered and she accepted a job for the State as a Judge in the High Court. But what stirred my soul and stained my mind was that she was a woman, a woman who had a child in her last year of her graduation from high school. A woman who was born into a poor family, who was determined to succeed and despite all her adversities she endured, she overcame and became a true success. I examined her, (Pamela is her name) her life, her past and right there and then I told myself if she can do it so can I.

I made it to the top of Mount Everest, and I felt like I was literally on top of the world. St. Francois Girls College (which was one of the most prestigious all girls high school in Port-of-Spain) was the high school I passed for in the Common Entrance Examination. The first child in my family to pass for an “elite” high school. In that moment I felt like I accomplished an educational milestone, I felt as though the ugly duckling showed she was ‘bright’ so maybe she could have a good future or one better than mine, I thought, this might be what my haters were saying, maybe I silenced them but for just a short time. My greatest rivals/ haters were sometimes my siblings, older cousins, aunts and great aunts, some teachers, classmates and even friends but for just this moment they could say absolutely nothing negative about me. In my new high school this was the beginning of me feeling like I was a part of something greater, a group of teachers and girls that felt like family and they were all inclusive and welcoming to me. As far right and as far left as I gazed during morning assembly, I saw girls like me of every shade, race, and color all with the same goals to work hard, succeed, and have fun doing it. My teachers were loving, challenging and very invested in every girl. They went above and beyond as a teacher, but they also taught us about etiquette, manners, how to be an all-rounded young lady and to remain humble, how to dream and dream big and don’t stop till we accomplished it, how to be trailblazers, how to be humanitarians and lastly how to be a true St. Francois girl wherever we went. My five years in high school were the best and most memorable years of my educational journey.

Life is an uphill battle and I feel the same way about my educational career. After high school I moved onto starting my working career instead of continuing my studies at St. Francois doing my A ‘Levels. This was because I was the second oldest child of five siblings with the youngest being one year old at that time. I couldn’t ask my parents to continue to finance me to continue my education when I saw the struggle, they endured every day to educate my siblings and I. My future was dismal, I knew I did great at my high school leaving exams and I could land a job with these qualifications, but it would be minimum wage or just above it. God has always been my guide and strength and in this moment, I trusted Him to make a way for me. A few crappy jobs came and went like being a worker at Burger King and a clerk at an insurance company but then my luck changed, and I got a job as an ‘on the job trainee’ for the telecommunications company of Trinidad and Tobago (TSTT). Everyone knew if you got a job there you were set for life, they paid extremely well. But I was a trainee, so I only got minimum wage. My mother, father, and boyfriend (now husband) encouraged me to hold onto the trainee job, work hard, be disciplined and be punctual and maybe they will keep me on after my contract ended. But I had my doubts because as soon as I got paid my salary felt like it vanished and I wanted to move on, but I preserved. After working two years as a trainee and one year as a temporary staff, I was offered a permanent position as a Wireman I (a predominantly male dominated field) and this was the moment my life completely changed. I could finally afford a good life, but I was not fulfilled until I gave back to the people who helped me to succeed. I worked for twelve years at this company and accomplished my lifelong dream of building a comfortable home for my mother and father and a separate home for myself, husband, and daughter. I was determined to end the cycle of poverty and make my parents happy and to give my daughter (Kendra, she is fifteen years now) everything I never had.

My advice to everyone, young children, teenagers, or adult students is to keep trying and never give up, believe in yourself and your abilities. Follow your dreams, educate yourself in whatever field, whether it be for a new job/career or to acquire knowledge. Education is the key to success, just be resilient, push true every adversity, the reward lies at the end of the tunnel, but the journey is what will truly define you.