Commuting to the internship after school on a windy afternoon was a bit exhausting, the hills felt like a hiking journey and the more I looked up the avenues the more stretched they seemed. Walking around the radiology department was filled with the voices of staff that echoed through the bright white halls. As I approached the file room, the noises of the fax printer were going nuts assuming that there was a whole batch of requests ready to be processed. Opening the gate of the room came a scented breeze of mixed herbs and a big hug that warmed me my mentor greeted me. Her mother-like affection shut away my stress and tension from school in one instant. “How was school? Did you study for that test? Are there knuckleheads bothering you? Were the teachers harsh on you?” What felt like an interrogation, was just a way of her showing that she was really invested in my education, unlike my parents who expected me to study at home and have very little social life which I had no thought of how that could impact me. My goal of sounding confident towards patients who request their documents wasn’t always achieved, it felt like that one obstacle that I couldn’t jump over – I just lacked social skills. “I’m not doing justice to your future if you don’t expand your social skills here.” I will admit communication was hard for me, at least that’s what I had been struggling with ever since I had experienced those parent/teacher meetings back in middle school – all the criticism and poor comments that emphasized what could have served as words of improvement or encouragement, it only fed my insecurities, at that point I realized my mentor knew about my struggles and I was afraid to be criticized just like I was throughout my years in school.
“All you need is some exposure to the social environment” she stated. My racing thoughts and guilt of showing my weakness gave me the courage to speak up about my struggle. In response she asked, “Britney, what other skill is better to have in life than being street smart and book smart at the same time?” That question felt like a shower thought but I finally understood it as a comparison of your education, and street smart referencing your knowledge of being in the real world where you are exposed to different environments with different people that could bring advantages, disadvantages, concerns, or optimism. “Remember, balance is key and to grow socially, it’s totally okay to ask for help because those who don’t ask will look like a fool who seems like a know-it-all person.” Her words were like a solution to my puzzle, my puzzle of struggles. Whether I struggled in school or out of school I knew that I just had to be more social to seek support. Her words live in me and as days went by the file room had its own days where it was calm or where it looked like it had been a victim of a bad storm. I never saw myself the same after having the blindfolds removed and having an improved social life.
Britney, I love the detail you’ve added to your piece about your mentor. It’s coming along very nicely. One part that I’m still not seeing is the “lack of social skills” that you reference a few times. You’re telling me why you changed and how you changed, but I don’t actually see the change. Perhaps focusing your writing (your emotional camera) on an instance where you felt like your social abilities got in the way of you getting something done could deepen the emotional arc of your narrative. Something to think about! I’m really looking forward to chatting about this piece on Thursday.