Homework 9/12/2023

I remember my cousin stopping by around 4pm he would always come by my house we would talk me and him were surprisingly more connected and had a tighter bond than me and my siblings since I was a child he would pick me up and we would always take the long way home we would through a vacant trail of a park we grew up by I was woken up later in the day by my mother crying as a child heading your mother cry or in pain puts you in instant panic I remember rushing out to the kitchen dining table to check on my mom she had her head down she looked up at me I saw the tears coming down here face I got her a napkin and sat by her she broke the news to me that my cousin was murdered only 15-20 mins from our house as a kid I never understood anger or pain so I sat there confused as the days went on I would walk the trail alone with no one to speak to I became distant from friends and family as things would continue I was start to realize what my mom meant when she told me he was “gone” not a phone call a school check up or stopping by I started to feel numb no one understood what i was dealing with so trying to explain myself and my hurt got me no where I started to know what it felt like to be alone my closet friend aneki would always stop by no matter how distant I became wether it was to do homework on a school day or okay video games after school he was one person could see my pain even if I wouldn’t speak on it we became close and I became more open to being  social again my teachers called me a distraction and a talkative child school was the only place I could be me and not have to remember or think about what I had going on at home I tried to express my hurt through jokes and making my friends laugh I got enjoyment from seeing other people happy 2 years ago my closest friend aneki would pass away we left a sweet 16 both angry at eachother brothers always fight so this was nothing new for us but unlike any other day this day we split up and it would be the worst decision of my life I made a promise to myself that under no terms would I give up on anyone I would never let a argument put me in a situation we’re I would distance my self from the people I care about because time is short I became a shell of the person I once was less talkative less happy but I always found happiness through what i could do for others I knew what it meant to be alone and wouldn’t put that on anyone