My earliest memory of education was a comforting, safe thought and feeling for me. I loved pre-school and my teacher Ms. Salina, she was like my mummy at school. I was excited to wake up dress, get my hair done and walk to pre-school with my great grandfather who we lovingly called ‘grandfather’. He was strong, agile and loving male figure in my life and at four years old I thought he would live forever, little did I know he was already eighty-five years. School was my happy place and an adventure. Our mornings started of with morning prayers then (my favorite) a nature walk which happened in park that was located next to a huge football field. The vibrant green grass sparkled as they were covered in dew, the brilliant sunshine kissed our faces and warmed our little bodies. We played and observed the animals in the pastures, I admired the cows, donkey and stray dogs but the highlight for me were the beautiful fluttering wings of the a variety of birds hopping from tree to tree. The towering trees housed keskidees, humming birds and the savannah had the infamous lily white savannah birds. Ms. Salina embodied for me a discovery into a new world. A world where the quiet, reserved me used drawing, painting, crafts, singing and expressing myself verbally as an avenue to grow, socialize and learn about myself while feeling safe.
My love and enthusiasm for school continued for the next two years in ‘first year’ and ‘second year’ (this is the name for the next two levels of schooling in Trinidad and Tobago). My mother, father and teachers challenged and rewarded me to study, write, read, think critically and ‘learn my work’. I took pride in that. I studied and read everyday and even started loving doing it. I soon realized I was getting top marks in my class. My report book at the end of the term was filled with A’s and A+’s. My parents were overjoyed and celebrated my success by carrying me to KFC and for ice-cream, even trips to the mall. However, this joy was not shared everywhere and with everyone especially not with my teachers then. By second year, I was known as one of the ‘bright girls’ but my teacher, Ms. Hassan, always put me at the back of the class to sit and found any reason to scold me even though my exercises were correct , I answered correctly when called upon and I was quiet. I noticed some days my mother will come to class to meet with Ms. Hassan and there will be a little quarrel about work I did that was correct and the teacher marked incorrect. I existed in my happy bubble and nothing took my joy, I loved school and I loved my teacher. But all good things come to an end they say. I did my final exam to move up to standard one (elementary school) and I got an A+ on the exams but on the day of promotion to standard one I was placed in the B class when I earned my spot in the A class. This was my shock into the reality of racism. Apparently, some people who had some power, had the idea that education and success was for fair skinned, straight hair children whose parents had prominent jobs. It was for children who were pure East Indian race but I was of mixed race/ heritage (African, East Indian and Spanish) with one working class parent. This is when a paradigm shift happened in my head and this became my life long battle for equality and to prove I belong, I deserve, I am worth it just like everyone else and not because of your superficial standards.
Lacey, you have a very clear and strong writing style. I’m so sorry that you had to go through a “rude awakening” of sorts throughout your educational journey and experience the indignity of not receiving the things you deserved, like your spot in the A class. I’m excited to see you take these experiences and craft them into a powerful narrative about what should and shouldn’t happen in the educational system as a way for you to challenge the superficial structures that have gotten in the way (and open other people’s eyes to them, too).