Meet my journals where my secrets and stories of my life are. The first time I bought a journal was at the age of 12. English is my second language, so I had hard and complicated learning until today. I began expressing my emotions through writing because nobody understood how I felt as a kid. I struggle to tell my parents how I feel when they say a hurtful word to me or yell at me in front of a family gathering as laughing while I’m hurt. My journal was my escape from the hostile world around me. I used to lock up myself in my bedroom to write my heart out. As I grew up, I bought more journals and wrote more in English because I had to make my English better. I lived in America, so I wrote more about my emotion, and until this day, when I read my old journals, I cry and laugh most of the time because I’m still the same, but I’m more mature.

In school, I made many friends, but we would find our separate ways, and when we see each other and feel stranger to each other, it made me feel depressed, lonely as if I don’t exist. However, my parents are not careful with their words when talking, and they seem to forget when they are expressing something they didn’t like about me or anything. Yet I sometimes realize parents forget, and as we grew up, we keep things deep in our hearts. The words my parents used to say,‘’ what kind of person wants to be with you, how cruel is your heart, why are fat, and we wish we had a son instead of you’’. It goes on, and it might not sound hurtful to you, but to me, it was, and still, it is. I was just a kid with dreams and hopes that got destroyed 

I struggle with school, felt lost, and didn’t care about anything because I was depressed, but sometimes the right people come and help me find my true self. The more I become older, the more I lost friends, and at a particular time, my pen and journal were my best friend who listens to me and understood me. I realize nobody would stay unless they want to, and if I kept on holding on to the person, it only made them leave me. The writing was like a lesson of life, and the more I understand the deep meaning of words and how to use the right at the right time and never be quick on making friends I became less depressed and alone in life. Now I write short poetry in Arabic and many of my cousins and friends like it. I have hopes that one day I will be able to speak and write confidential because I want to become a better writer. I can’t tell too much because they are personal, but a book is the story of every person’s life; it’s nice to own a journal to show the struggle you went through; also when you don’t have anybody to talk about something, a journal would never tell or speak unless it’s read.

I would recommend everyone to have a journal or a book to write about themselves and get through life when they feel the world is against them. Besides, when we grew up, the journals will be a memory of our life struggles.