Meet my journals where my secrets and stories of my life are. The first time I bought a journal was at the age of 12. English is my second language, so I had hard, complicated learning until today. I began expressing my emotions through writing because nobody understood how I felt as a kid. I struggle to tell my parents how I feel when they say a hurtful word to me or yell at me in front of a family gathering as laughing while I’m hurting. My journal was my escape to help grow up. As I grew up, I bought more journals and wrote more in English because I had to make my English better. I lived in America, so I wrote more about my emotion, and until this day, when I read my old journals, I cry and laugh most of the time because I’m still the same, but I’m more mature. In school, I made many friends, but we would find our separate ways, and when we see each other and feel stranger to each other, it made me feel depressed, lonely as if I don’t exist. However, my parents are not careful with their words when talking, and they seem to forget when they are expressing something they didn’t like about me or anything. Yet I made realize sometimes parents forget we grew up and take things deep in our hearts.
I struggle with school, felt lost, and didn’t care about anything because I was depressed, but sometimes the right people come and help me find my true self. The more I become older, the more I lost friends, and at a particular time, my pen and journal were my best friend who listens to me and understood me. I realize nobody would stay unless they want to, and if I kept on holding on to the person, it only made them leave me. The writing was like a lesson of life, and the more I understand the deep meaning of words and how to use the right at the right time and never be quick on making friends I became less depressed and alone in life. Now I write short poetry in Arabic and many of my cousins and friends like it. I have hopes that one day I will be able to speak and write confidential because I want to become a better writer. I can’t tell too much because they are personal, but a book is the story of every person’s life; it’s nice to own a journal to show the struggle you went through; also when you don’t have anybody to talk about something, a journal would never tell or speak unless it’s read.
I would recommend everyone to have a journal or a book to write about themselves and get through life when they feel the world is against them. Besides, when we grew up, the journals will be a memory of our life struggles.
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