Prof. Jessica Penner | D304 | Spring 2022

Adrian Polanco, Short story 2 (Revised with dialogue)

January 8th, 2018, you may be wondering why this date is so important, well it’s the day Adrian’s life got turned upside down. But before we get to that let me set the scenario that led up to that change. Adrian is currently engaged to Nathaly, they’ve known each other since highschool and have been in a relationship ever since, from the moment they met they hit it off and felt as though they’ve found their soulmate to be with for the rest of their lives. They would spend countless hours with one another, always wanting to be with each other and make each other happy. With the years going by Adrian had felt as though he needed to ask the question, the only thing going through his mind at the time was “I want to be with her forever” so that night he decided to take her out to her favorite restaurant. The evening was going well as usual, Adrian was cracking jokes and Nathaly was trying her absolute best not to laugh too loudly to draw attention. Eventually the desserts that were ordered for the night arrived and on top of Nathalys cake was a ring, she stood there in shock of what was to come from this ring. 

Adrian: I’ve never felt so sure about something in my life and being able to spend everyday with you would be nothing more than a dream come true for me, Nathaly will you marry me and make me the happiest man alive?

As she was trying to speak the tears kept pouring out and all Adrian received was a mumbled 


followed by cheers from others in the restaurant. Skip a few months and the wedding is being planned, where do they want to have it, who are they inviting, do they want it to be traditional or have it be their own way? So many questions yet they were never baffled by the amount of work needed to put in seeing how all they wanted was to be with each other. As the wedding day arrived Adrian was nothing but nerves, he had gone to the bathroom about 4 times now and is constantly shaking because he wants everything to be perfect for their big day, as is tradition to not see the bride in her wedding dress until she comes down the aisle, Adrian was left to imagine just how beautiful Nathaly would look in hers. As the ceremony commenced and the music started to play, Nathaly is being walked down the aisle by her younger brother, Adrian is in complete disbelief that the day had finally arrived and started to shed tears of happiness, his best man Franklyn had him covered and passed him his handkerchief. As she reached the pastor and they faced each other all you could see was smiles. Eventually the pastored had arrived to the part 

Pastor: if anyone thinks these 2 souls should not be intertwined or married, speak up or forever hold your peace

 and yet as no one in the crowd said anything the last person Adrian ever expected to say no was his own soon to be wife Nathaly. Her tears started falling as she apologized and proceeded to say she wasn’t ready for something this big and she ran away leaving Adrian at the altar alone, leaving him to question “what did he do wrong?”. Later that day Adrian was in shambles at the hotel while his best man Franklyn was trying to cheer him up by 

Franklyn: there’s a reason for everything, I’m sure she’ll come back

Little did he know it was convenient timing seeing how there was a knock at the door, when Adrian didn’t want anyone else around he would tell the person at the door to go away. He heard Nathaly’s voice

Nathaly: Adrian please let me in, I want to talk about what just happened

She goes on to explain the situation at hand, but the main take away was that she wasn’t ready for marriage. Adrian sat there confused and left wondering

Adrian: Why did you accept my proposal, why put all this time into this if you didn’t want to get married yet

Nathaly had no answer, she felt as though no matter what she said she couldn’t make up for what she did to him. Adrian goes on 

Adrian: I love you Nathaly, there’s no one in this world I’d rather be with, but if you weren’t ready I’d wish you would tell me, talk to me and we could’ve resolved this together like we always do

She starts to tear up and from the mumbling 

Nathaly: I’m sorry for being such a mess

Adrian, still caring as much as he does for her, comforted Nathaly, told her that everything was going to be okay, that they would take their time with things and make sure nothing got in the way of what they wanted. They spent the night talking about how they could possibly bring the news to the family, but it was as simple as saying “we aren’t ready for marriage”. Adrian could never sit there and watch her say it by herself, he would feel guilty, so he chose to take the criticism and the harsh looks together. As the news was told, most were outraged and in disbelief, while others chose to leave understanding the circumstances. The wedding was called off completely and well Adrian and Nathaly continued being their normal selves, they understood the issue and worked it out together because they understood that there was a lot more to lose had they handled this poorly. And most can ask “what could’ve been the worse outcome” as they’re left to think “losing one another”. 


  1. Dree-Nica Isemar

    Liked how the story started out as this cute hing but turned into a bittersweet moment between the two characters.

    The dialogue showed how Nathaly really felt and it did not let us think that she was ditching Adrian for no reason.

    I think there was enough dialogue for us to comprehend how the characters felt about the situation they were in.

  2. Lisa

    I enjoy how your story has a twist, a very unexpected twist. This definitely made me feel engaged throughout the story. I would recommend putting quotation marks around the parts where someone is speaking just to make it a bit easier for the reader to know when someone speaks. Also maybe adding some action to the character such as when Adrian is proposing adding how his facial expressions were such as “…”Adrian smiled as he got down on one knee or something along those lines. Overall, this story was great and such a sweet ending where despite the turn of events all they can think about was it would’ve been worse if they lost each other.

  3. Austin Vegas

    I enjoyed how in your story you went through how each person felt from their perspective with their thought process when the events happened. You involved what you and Nathaly said to one another after the wedding with gives context for how you both felt in the moment. For the dialogue that you have maybe adding afterwards how the words were said with details (such as saying her tone for both of your words). Maybe adding what both families said can enhance how they felt about the wedding being called off.

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