Saba Chaudhry Coate’s Critique

The excerpt from The Water Dancer was such an amazing excerpt. This short passage was written so beautifully and just full of amazing metaphors and such imaginative imagery. The sensory details in this excerpt were some of the most vivid descriptions that made me feel as if it was right there in the moment looking at exactly what I was reading. For example, it is written, “a cold steady rain fell as I drove, the water dripping down from the brim of my hat, puddling on my
trousers” (5). Reading this put me exactly in that position. I almost felt this physically. It is clear that the use of metaphors, similes, and the use of sensory details are imperative, but I feel as if it gets too reputable and there is not much of a buildup to reach the climax. I think the author could have begun the actual story much sooner and directly than to just keep on using those writing
tools in the piece. I would ask the author what were you feeling inside when you wrote this. Because I can imagine if I was to write something like this I’d feel this energy and just pour it all out because that’s what the words coming out make me feel. I would also ask did you feel like you connected with the characters as you were writing this or was it more of just a story that you compiled and wanted to make it beautiful. To conclude this excerpt from The Water Dancer
was a beautiful piece that made me feel as if I was experiencing everything that I was reading and would love to keep reading the whole story and feel it every word of the way.