ENG1141
Creative Writing
Formal Critique
Formal Critique: Luz Mery Felipe
Title: The First Day Author: Edward P. Jones
Plot: The story is about a 5 years old girl on her first day of school. Her mother first took her to the school she has always heard of even when she was in her mother’s “womb” but when they got there, found out that she couldn’t attend there because they lived beyond the area. Therefore, her mother took her to the other school and when they got there she found out that her mom did not know how to write or read. Something that caught my attention is that the author mentioned how the little girl is ashamed of her mother, so I wonder, is it because her mother does not know how to read and write or there is something else?
Characters: the main characters are the five years old girl and her mother. I noticed the story is narrated in first person. Is the author somehow related to the little girl?
Point of View: the point of view is from the five years old girl perspective.
Setting & Context: the story takes place on September, the first day of classes to be exact while the five years old and her mother were on their way to school. What was so special about the first school besides it being close to the mother’s church?
Voice & Style: I liked how the author describes everything from what the main character is wearing to what she sees or hear in a way her readers are able to picture what she is describing in their heads.
Dialogue: the author made use of dialogue and one of them revealed something unexpected about one of the characters, which is the fact that the mother did not know how to write or read which I think can be considered as the climax.
Hello Luz,
I agree with you that because the author was so descriptive, I was able to picture everything in my head while reading the story. The author did a fantastic job of bringing the characters to life with words.
Hey Luz, your question under “Plot” was one that I had as well. I believe that the fact that the mother can not read was the reason the little girl became ashamed because if you recall, there was another little girl who was staring at the young girl’s mother. Maybe the author felt like attention was brought to them in a wrong way. However, at the end, the five year old girl seemed to to show some sympathy to her mother once they had to say their goodbyes. What do you think?
I agree with you on you comments about the voice and style of the story. I think the author was very descriptive about all the details about the characters and everything the little girl and her mother had to experience in her first day of school.
hi Luz,
I agree with you on considering the mother not knowing how to read or write as the climax, I personally did not expect that especially from her constant persistence and ambitions for her daughter’s school.
Hello Luz,
I agree with your thought on how the little girl felt ashamed from her mother but did not know why? I also want to know what made her feel so about her mother? It might be that she couldn’t read or write as you specifically mentioned, or there could be something else. As I came to the end of the story, it kind of made feel like her mother abandoned her.
Hello Luz,
I really like how you talked about the plot in your critique. I feel like you plot is really described what happens throughout the story. I like how you mention about a five year old child and how she shares her experiences and her feelings. I like how you have mentioned all the details on your critique.