- I will use the Between Two Worlds prompt and maybe the mentor’s quote
- The main idea of my education narrative will be about me navigating my way into a private school (Marymount Mount) and unveiling the reality of going into a private school.
- Outline- I: Intro -> My first day in college
II. Event 1; First time going to Marymount
III. Event 2; Dropping out of a class
IV. Event3 ; Rethinking my major
V. Conclusion; the great atmosphere of the school made me feel welcomed
VI. Overall message; just because a private school is said to be “better” there are negatives to consider.
Unveiling the Shadows
The first day of college dawned with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. As I walked into the lecture hall, the air buzzed with the energy of countless possibilities. The room, much larger than any I had encountered in high school, seemed to echo with the collective anticipation of new beginnings. The sea of unfamiliar faces stared back at me, each one harboring a unique story and a spectrum of emotions. The professor, a figure of authority and knowledge, commanded attention at the front of the room. The echoes of hushed conversations filled the space as students exchanged introductions, sharing a blend of excitement and anxiety.
I found an empty seat, the cool surface of the desk beneath my fingertips adding a tangible reality to the moment. The professor began the class with a warm welcome, setting a tone that blended expertise with approachability. The syllabus, a roadmap for the semester, was distributed, and the weight of academic expectations settled in. As the professor delved into the course material, the hum of curiosity overpowered the initial nerves. The first-day icebreakers, though slightly awkward, served as a bridge connecting the diverse group of individuals in the room. Laughter punctuated the air, creating a sense of camaraderie as we navigated the uncharted waters of this academic journey together.
As the first month set in, things got overwhelming. I was not doing so well in chemistry class and I thought I would not pass the class. I remember going down at the counselors office and expressing how I wanted to drop the class. When I did drop the class I was told how it would affect the money needed to be paid by the fall semester. Overall I was stressed out and things were not looking as great as it did at the beginning.
I love the imagery and details just bursting from the story. It is as though I’m reading a narrative of a Netflix show. I have a feeling that you dwell deep into not liking the school. I think you should bring up a touch of society’s thoughts on the matter because your message is about the negatives to consider.Like maybe you can stress how you just wanted to be an alumnus at the private school.
food for thought. can’t wait to read the rest
Great CSD — very nice details and description!
Excellent overall message you write for your ending take away.
I am looking forward to see how this develops. I have never been to a private girls school, so I am super curious!
You write: The sea of unfamiliar faces stared back at me, each one harboring a unique story and a spectrum of emotions. SHOULD YOU MENTION THE IMPORTANT DETAIL THAT ALL THESE FACES BELONG TO YOUNG WOMEN to let readers know without spelling it out that this school is an all-girls environment…?
Then later you write: diverse group of individuals in the room. Perhaps some clarification. How were they diverse if they were uniformly all women?
WHAT were these young women like? I always think RICH when I hear private girls college? Did you make friends? Did you feel part of the community? Is there a possible scene of how you navigated the social scene of Marymount? Would this scene show TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS — Did you feel like you were in TWO Different Worlds? The rich girl community (I am only guessing here; what was the Marymount “world”? and _____ what was the other world?)