I will not be choosing this for my essay
I have experienced living between two different worlds or identities. I remember when I was going to my country I had to act like a completely different person because people over there were more religious and wore the national dresses which I wasn’t comfortable wearing. So I had to change myself and wear those because if i hadn’t then people would’ve had gossip about me. I also had to have a scarf on my head that I wasn’t comfortable wearing back then. Like when i was in america i didn’t have to wear those national dresses that they were back home. I had to completely change my identity and act like I was from there because if i didn’t people would just be judging me there. Also when I’m not back home in my country I feel more safe and adjusted to my life than being their because I have to change identity whenever I’m their and I have to change myself again when I’m in america so its completely different for me.
I solved this by talking to my parents about it and they were really open minded and told me that I don’t need to change myself for others or I’ll say the society which always gossips. I also gave myself hope and understood myself more by not doing the stuff that made me uncomfortable. Now when i go back to my home country I act and behave the same way I do in america because I felt more comfortable that way than making myself not feel comfortable.
This is very interesting but you are missing so many Concrete Specific Details CSD! Can you notice that you are only telling me. INSTEAD YOU NEED TO SHOW ME by creating a few well chosen scenes and developing some dialogue. Please look at the student example papers in the Unit One Assignment tab.
I know you said you did not choose this prompt, but I offer you some suggestions anyways should you change your mind. I do think what you have here is very interesting and a good way to explore your TWO different worlds: the world in WHAT COUNTRY and the world here in America.
SO —
I have experienced living between two different worlds or identities. I remember when I was going to my country [WHICH country?] I had to act like a completely different person because people over there were more religious and wore the national dresses which I wasnāt comfortable wearing. [WHAT kind of dresses? WHAT religious ways?]. So I had to change myself [WHAT changes? In dress? What dress did you change into? CSD please!] and wear those because if i hadnāt then people wouldāve had gossip about me. [What would the gossipers say? What did you hear people whisper around you?] I also had to have a scarf on my head that I wasnāt comfortable wearing back then. [Was this a different type of head scarf? WHAT did it look like? CSD!] Like when i was in america i didnāt have to wear those national dresses that they were back home. I had to completely change my identity and act like I was from there because if i didnāt people would just be judging me there. [Can you give details? Explain HOW women there WHERE are judged? Is this a sexist society? What are the rules?]. Also when Iām not back home in my country I feel more safe and adjusted to my life than being their because I have to change identity whenever Iām their and I have to change myself again when Iām in [CAPITAL A]america so its completely different for me.
Can you describe a typical scene and what women wear during one of these trips back home WHERE is your home country? This is an important part of your story but YOU DONāT TELL ME! Can you describe a time that your dress got judgement from others?
I solved this by talking to my parents about it and they were really open minded and told me that I donāt need to change myself for others or Iāll say the society which always gossips. [Can you SHOW me this convo with your parents? What were their exact words? What did you say or complain about?]. I also gave myself hope and understood myself more by not doing the stuff that made me uncomfortable. Now when i go back to my home country I act and behave the same way I do in america because I felt more comfortable that way than making myself not feel comfortable.