“Well how can you expect any change in the world, if all you’re doing is imagining the solutions? You can’t be president, sure, but you can be a voice. First step, graduate.”
This is what my history teacher, Mr. Hilton, said to me during a conversation about how I’d imagine a fair economy and schooling system. I didn’t have much friends in that class in high school, so when I had finished my work, I would to Mr. Hilton. He was a very approachable, funny, and kind teacher. However some might argue you graded quite harshly, which would of course effect the opinions of high school students. What he had said strays no further from how he is. It was in response to me saying I would never be president due to me being an immigrant so the ideal world I imagined can’t exist.
I was at a state where I believed I wouldn’t go far because I had no interests in any academics, just a hunger to solve life’s problems, for everyone. I had thought school was useless and wouldn’t get me where I wanted to be. Mr. Hilton being kind yet stern, saw how naive I was and advised that I continue down the academic path. Mr. Hilton had asked me to visit him during lunvhto talk more about it and having nothing better to do, I went. He showed me all types of degrees and majors I can use to get to positions where I can be voice in making certain decisions.
Although my interests had changed over time, I still apply Mr. Hilton’s advice to almost everything in my life. I can’t just imagine the solutions to my problems all day. I have to get up and do something about it.
I completely agree with those words from Mr. Hilton and I myself will try to practice them. Great advice!
Excellent quote! and Excellent following instructions on how to use the quote to start this writing HW. GOod Job Mo!
I offer some suggestions to improve this if you choose to go further with this writing prompt. SO —
“Well how can you expect any change in the world, if all you’re doing is imagining the solutions? You can’t be president, sure, but you can be a voice. First step, graduate.”
This is what my history teacher, Mr. Hilton, said to me during a conversation about how I’d imagine a fair economy and schooling system [WHAT exactly was the class discussion topic that day?]. I didn’t have much friends in that class in high school, so when I had finished my work, I would SAY? TALK? to Mr. Hilton. He was a very approachable, funny, and kind teacher. However some might argue you graded quite harshly {UNCLEAR – is this his exact WORDS? WHAT did he say? WHAT was the conversation? GIVE THE EXACT DIALOGUE betweenyou and him and WHEN did this happen? In class – after class?], which would of course effect the opinions of high school students. What he had said strays no further from how he is. It was in response to me saying I would never be president due to me being an immigrant so the ideal world I imagined can’t exist. [TURN THIS PART INTO A CLEARLY DESCRIBED SCENE WITH DIALOGUE – notice that you are doing a lot of TELLING, instead you need to SHOW with clear description and dialogue. Create theater of the mind for you reader, me!]
I was at a state where I believed I wouldn’t go far because I had no interests in any academics, just a hunger to solve life’s problems, for everyone. I had thought school was useless and wouldn’t get me where I wanted to be. [I was skipping classes and never doing my HW — IDK, but you do so SHOW me this student who had ‘no interests’ and thought school “useless”. Give more descriptions.]. Mr. Hilton being kind yet stern, saw how naive I was and advised that I continue down the academic path. Mr. Hilton had asked me to visit him during lunvhto talk more about it and having nothing better to do, I went.
SHOW me the kind of student you used to be (before being influenced by Mr. Hilton’s words).
THEN SHOW me points in your educational life after this convo with Mr. Hilton when you start to apply yourself better as a student. What other events can you SHOW me that started you on an upward path to being more interested in your studies?
In one lunch time meeting, Mr Hilton showed me all types of degrees and majors I can use to get to positions where I can be voice in making certain decisions. [Description, details please! WHAT majors, WHAT career do you aspire to follow? WHAT changes in the world do you want to work for? So has Mr. Hilton nurtured your dreams of studying to be a ______ What did you say? What did he say? Where was this conversation? How did you begin to feel? What were your inner thoughts? THINK the 5Ws and give more details]
Although my interests had changed over time, I still apply Mr. Hilton’s advice to almost everything in my life. I can’t just imagine the solutions to my problems all day. I have to get up and do something about it. [very nice ending! I like this part.]