Something that saved me in high school was my teacher. I remember the first day of Junior year I was scared and nervous because I had seven classes I had to attend. When I saw my schedule, I said ” Damm my classes are too many”. At the end of the afternoon, I walked to my eight-period class which was Math. I normally don’t like Math, but the teacher did something that change my life. She welcomed me and said ” am always here for you in anytime. Her name was Ms. Tracy Bell, she impressed me and make sure I can trust her by telling her my problems. She told us a story about her in high school and what saved her. She said, ” I wasn’t smart in high school, going to school i was hard for me because I know I won’t understand anything the teacher will be teaching”. After hearing her story, I said ” I have the same problems too”.
The bell rang and the class was over I stay after class to talk to her about my challenges in English. She was very nice in fact my favorite teacher. I started to introduce myself to her and told her about my challenges in Math. How I felt being in English class and scared I am whenever given some homework. We talk like an hour she gave me advice. I told her math was very difficult, whenever am in the class I feel like my mind is somewhere else. she said, ” All you have to do is take a deep breath and don’t think about anything but math”. She was a good listen. This happens in her class. She introduces me to a club that help you with your works. My homework was perfectly done. The next day of school I want to her and thank her for introducing me to the club. Ever since I was introducing to the club all my Challenge has disappeared. The people in the club helps you with your work and every subject. The club was called” writing club”. There was only one teacher but the people who help you with your work were the students. The club meet at the study hall class near her classroom. We did most math problems which you find it difficult. It was really fun, because we learn what we will do in the class the next day. All my years in high school was about her. She walked me to my history class. In my senior year, I was in need of help but wasn’t sure if she will because she was not my teacher anymore. But she helped me. I graduated high school. Ms. bells change my life in high school.
Wow Faustina! You have improved as a writer. You write in a more interesting exciting way here. Full of clear details and you have the beginning of a few scenes that you can develop. GOOD WORK.
_______________________________
Something that saved me in high school was my teacher. I remember the first day of Junior year I was scared and nervous because I had seven classes I had to attend. [SHOW me that first day, Where were you whne you felt nervous? What was the exact words you said to yourself about the SEVEN classes?]. At the end of the afternoon, I walked to my eight-period class which was Math. I normally don’t like Math, but the teacher did something that change my life. [What were her exact words?] Her name was Ms. Tracy Bell, she impressed me [describe the things about her that impressed you]. She told us a story about her in high school and what saved her. [What was her story? SHOW me the words that she spoke. THEN — What were the thoughts in your mind after listening to her story?]
The bell rang and the class was over I stay after class to talk to her about my challenges in English. She was very nice in fact my favorite teacher. I started to introduce myself to her and told her about my challenges in Math. How I felt being in English class and scared I am whenever given some homework. We talk like an hour she gave me advice. [What did you say? What did she say? Where did this important conversation happen? Describe the room where it happened.] She introduces me to a club that help you with your works. [Describe this club.] My homework was perfectly done. The next day of school I want to her and thank her for introducing me to the club. Ever since I was introducing to the club all my Challenge has disappeared. [Describe what studying activities you did in that club. Name of club? Were tutors there? Was it a study hall? WHere did this club meet? in her classroom after school? Did you do math problems in group? Was it a fun way to learn and do HW? If yes, SHOW me you having fun in that club. ] All my years in high school was about her. She walked me to my history class. In my senior year, I was in need of help but wasn’t sure if she will because she was not my teacher anymore. But she helped me. I graduated high school. Ms. bells change my life in high school.
THINK OUTLINE in order: What events will you include to show your progress from Scared Nervous Junior to Confidant Graduating Senior?