“Son, There Is thing you want to do and there something that have benefits and in these two things there is risk. The only thing I want is your own choice that benefits you and put you in less risk.”
After My graduation my father was so happy that he gave me hug and was surprised that I graduate from high school. The day I was picking my college course for city tech. I was going to choose software engineer but these words my father told me “Son, There Is thing you want to do and there something that have benefits and in these two things there is risk. The only thing I want is your own choice that benefits you and put you in less risk.” He said this to me in Pushtu (A language a Afghani peoples said) this happen when I was at home and was about to eat. which made me so thinking and made me realize that there are things(stuff) that you want to do which make a lot of benefits but at the sane time it can give you risk or something that be bad for you that you will regret’s, my father words were so eloquent to me that it also gives me goosebumps. So afterwards every choice I was making made me think 2 to 3 times, is this good? Am I going to risk myself over this? Is this better for me? After a few moments later I would do it. So, I pick my course and then he didn’t say the only thing he said” Son, just make sure you don’t make trouble” Then I node to him making him sure that I will not make trouble. So, I was and am making my best effort to make sure I make my father proud at any moment. Till this day I still remember his words and will never forget that these words gave me hope and benefits.
good quote and being honest was a key point.
Ali: This is good work!
I love the part where you tell me the effect of your father’s words on you was goosebumps! This is a great detail. (Also good work for learning from Malcolm X who said Elijah Muhammad’s words electrified me).
SUggestion: Place this exact sentence as the next sentence after you put the quote from your father.
SO order of sentences: Start with the quote. THen move up to become the first sentence in your writing part.
“Son, There Is thing you want to do and there something that have benefits and in these two things there is risk. The only thing I want is your own choice that benefits you and put you in less risk.”
My father words were so eloquent to me that it also give me goosebumps.
Then, could you look back in your memory to get the exact words from your father? OR can you edit to make it more clear? I can’t quite understand the way you have written it here in the beginning quote.
Can you add a setting: Describe the place where this conversation with your dad took place.
Good beginning! YOu may be able to take this writing and put it in your Ed Narrative, Major Unit One Assignment coming up. So think of ways it can be improved.
Proud of you for working hard now.
Best,
Prof. Wu
ALso I am curious to know:
Was your father speaking to you in Afghan Language? What does that sound like? WOuld you like to use the words as they sound to an American ear, just like Esmeralda Santiago does in teh beginning of “When I Was PUerto Rican”?
This is just a suggestion.
YOu have a lot of good things to work with here. So glad you are writing more and getting more practice as you do it. It’s the only way to improve.