Shitty First Draft

It started out as an ordinary chilly morning as usual I was weary. To commence I had awaken at 6:00 in the morning to get ready for school which started at 7:15 am I was in such a rush to get to the bus then to the train and not be late as customary. This was the first year I was taking an advance course I had a very rigorous teacher who gave a lot but a lot of homework and classwork. Mainly a lot of writing, however for this class the writing was different. As anyone who had all her life trouble with writing, primarily concerning grammar and sentence structure this was a whole bizarre experience.

When entering class it felt like any ordinary day like always I said good morning to the teacher I was the first person in the classroom so I went to my sit which was the first row all the way in the back. To my right there was a big building board with a bunch of stapled work of other students and what they have done in Spanish class. In that wall there was always something new written by students with grades they have received and comments on what they can improve next time from teachers. To my left sat my friends finally kids came running to the classroom some before the bell rung other’s after the bell has rung. The teacher started to talk of the previous homework we had a week ago how so of us had done exceptionally well while other’s not so much.

He started with my row handing me my previous essay writing like always I never check my grade in front of my teacher’s I just set it down to my side but he didn’t leave afterwards he just stood there watching the clip he had placed for us to watch. I was doing my work still I couldn’t stop from feeling nervous him hovering over my shoulder like making sure I was doing the task I was told to do he had such a serious face it was the same as someone who was about to scold someone. The lights were dim so the classroom was kind of dark. He finally spoke to me what he told me I will have never imagined. He said” Are you considered taking next year the second AP course that follow’s this one?”  I told him “I’m not sure yet.” He replied with “You should you are a good writer you write with good techniques that next year it can be 20 times better than now you follow all of the writing criteria’s and have all the right thoughts think about it will be nice having a student like yourself next year join us” I told him “Thank you, and I will think about it.” I was shocked never would I have imagined such a thing.

A couple days ago I got my English essay back and there were so many mistakes on it comments following with it. That even the teacher told me to go get some help writing before handing anything to her. Growing up it was hard being bilingual I was born and raised in New York but learned two languages at the same time which I was always proud of and honored. I went to bilingual schools from kindergarten to third grade so I learned speaking and writing both afterwards it just became English for me starting 3 grade. I always felt odd when speaking because of my accent and when teacher’s told me you have problems writing proper English that didn’t help the situation at all on the contrary it made it worst. It started at 4 grade when writing got a little lengthier I always hated anything related to writing because I genuinely felt I was the worst having to do it over and over again just for the teacher to downgrade me and criticize sometimes felt pointless in doing so. I never gain a sense of joy when writing I just wrote what the teacher asked never on something I wanted to write about and give my opinion on it. Every year I try my hardest I saw how other students received 90 or 96 on their essay where as I only got from a 78 to and 88 and one time a 92 on an essay. I won’t denied I will procrastinate to reread what I have wrote multiple times but when it comes to essay test I can’t do that since just trying to know how to start takes me a while and when I do finish I barely have time to proofread.

When my Spanish teacher told me I had a lot of potential and I was good at it made me feel good after all these years. I learned that every country is different everywhere writing is not the same as it is here in New York. I was so used to thinking there was only one type of way to write and that I will fail in life not being how to write good considering one of my teachers said that and I even reproach myself on being bilingual. I mean I’m not saying I’m not trying to get better in writing perfect English but sometimes I wonder why is there only one way to write anything what they consider bad isn’t a choice we made it’s just that our brain functions differently. Speaking two languages is a privilege at least for me I wouldn’t change it but it’s also hard many teachers don’t see that and try to establish a way into our mind’s that at least my brain doesn’t really comprehend so much. In other places it’s different how to write it’s not so formal that I see so many changes that can be done in my English classes. So I knew that if I can writing adequately in Spanish there isn’t just one way of writing but many, each having different rules.

Reviewer’s Memo

What I intended to do was for the reader to understand I am bilingual and that its hard being taught two languages and thinking there’s’ only one way to write correctly. I hope it would make other students who know more languages that it’s normal to hear from teachers that is bad it’s just here in America the components to write a good paper is different than from everywhere else. I want the reader to take away from this is that they aren’t alone if they went through the same situation that where one thinks your writing is bad in another place they see it as good. I feel like the project is good I can express myself how I felt throughout this years, the problems I have so far is just my grammar, if I put in a lot of unnecessary information, what should I have added more of and are some of the sentences wandering all over the place. I think what’s working is not having to write an introduction and conclusions not being a research paper I think I need help in trying to make my paper look neater but I’m proud of the experience I chose to write about.