I remember the day so perfectly, March 15, 1:50 pm. I was at the chiropractor, days after my car accident and I was waiting for my college acceptance letters via email. My first choice was John Jay College of Criminal Justice. This has been my dream college since I was in 5th grade because my mom was a former graduate. After seven words I’ve already noticed that they didn’t accept me. Sorrow crept over me and words couldn’t form. This was a major setback for me. I never saw myself at any other school, I was crushed. As I left the chiropractor all I can think about is how will I tell my mom the news.
Hall English 1101 Fall 2020
License
© 2024 Fight For Your Rights
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑
So guys, Jenny needs some help figuring out how to make this longer!
I liked how detailed your paragraph was especially with the fact that you gave the exact date of when your experience happened. I found the part where you said “This has been my dream college since I was in 5th grade because my mom was a former graduate.” interesting because as little kids we were so used to saying what we wanted to when we grow up and when we actually did we went the complete different direction . I just like how you still kept your dream career and still going for it. I got a bit confused at the end because i expected more writing . And i really wanted to know if you told your mother the news and how she reacted . But overall this paragraph gave me the anticipation to find out what will happen next.
Thank you Ester !! Will post the rest soon. Hope you get to review it