Hend Elwahwah

The Portfolio….

It wouldn’t let me post all 3 but ill post the titles

“Its beauty in the struggle” – Essay

“Photo Essay, middle child” – Essay

And one homework assignment would be the research memos on rent.

Hend Elwahwah

Dr. Hall

Artist Statement

 

        Me as a writer… well, it did not start off so easy. Throughout high school, I most definitely did not know how to write. I never believed in myself to ever even try as much as I wanted to. Also, my High school teachers were doing a great job at belittling my writing. All I had ever learned from high school was, “Sound professional, use big words.” That is not ME writing, that is what my teachers wanted to hear. It didn’t make me comfortable in any way possible, at some point I just started putting big words together to try to make a sentence that would sound good. That was what lead me to grow a hatred for writing. I’ve always felt like it would be a drag every time a teacher assigned us an essay to get done. During the end of senior year in high school it was time to apply for college, all I could think about was mostly, English class. My teachers in high school had always belittled my writing abilities and skills, which left me at not believing in myself. I could remember how nerve wrecking it was just to think about college classes. All I was telling myself was, “what am I going to do in English class?” “I don’t know how to write” “My professor is probably going to think I am an idiot.”

 

        August 28th, 2018… college has started. First week of English class, we already got assigned an essay. At that moment, I lost it. I was afraid if I ended up with a terrible grade in the class because of my writing. I turned in the paper and got a C. That is terrible. Dr. Hall was my English professor and had told me to meet her in her office hours. I went to her office hour and she spoke to me and changed my thoughts about myself as a writer. She had told me, don’t use big words, stop trying to sound professional, sound like YOURSELF. . Speak like yourself, express your thoughts, ideas, and etc. I had started that class with a C, and ended up finishing the class with an A. At that moment I believed in myself. With the help of Dr. Hall I grew a love and passion for writing.

 

        Who am I as a writer? As a writer, I am myself. Not what others want me to be. What characterizes my writing would be the types of genres that I love to write in and that usually catch my eye. I love to write about my personal day to day life because you never know what the person reading my work is going through. It takes a lot to write about your personal life, but I feel like that is me as a writer. My writing has changed drastically over the years of schooling. As I mentioned high school did not help me a single bit. This is the end of my first year of college, and I genuinely feel like English 1101 and 1121 is what shaped me as a writer. Having a professor that always believed in you and always left positivity in the end of paper you submit, it makes you want to write more. It took me a while to find out who I am as a writer and what my strengths and weaknesses are. My strengths in writing would be placing the reader in my shoes, to look at the bigger picture of life, and to get deep. My goal is to always change the readers mindset to positivity and make them feel like they have a purpose. My weaknesses would be plenty. I still am growing  as a writer, and plan on working on my writing every time I have the chance too. One of my main weak points would be not knowing how to start an essay, analysis, a writing and not knowing how to end it. Also, grammar. I am in the process of learning on how to become a better writer, for myself.

 

       There are many examples of how I have overcome my weaknesses in my writing. I’ve learned in this class over the past semester on how to focus on my weakness. As I have mentioned my main weakness would be not knowing where to start and end an analysis, essay, etc. This semester I had wrote an essay that maybe isn’t the greatest to others but something I’m very proud of for believing in myself to overcome my weakness. Thanks to Dr. Halls technique of the classwork she made us do about what setting we were in, what are we thinking, what color is the room, what time is it that you’re writing this. It has helped me alot in learning how to start and end an essay. The essay was named, “Its Beauty In The Struggle.” The evidence of overcoming my weakness would be, “It was a winter morning in Brooklyn, New York around 6:30 A.M., sunrise hitting my window, I am all bundled up, drinking my hot chocolate, listening to music on shuffle, the song “Love Yourz” starts playing by J.Cole, aka the G.O.A.T, mind you this is my all time favorite song and I always listen to it. But for some reason that morning I stopped and thought to myself, “What is J.Cole’s message in this song? What is he trying to say?.” I started listening more towards the lyrics. I also watched the music video because it explains the song in a visual way. What J.Cole is trying to portray for the audience in this song is to always be thankful for what you have. Trying to achieve your dream gets many people caught up with trying to make your dream turn into reality.” (Beauty, 1) That right there proves to me I have overcome my weakness,  maybe not fully, but definitely better than I had ever expected. I seriously never knew how to start an essay or to even end one and for me to write all that and let me tell you I’m so proud of myself. 

 

     This is just the beginning of myself as a writer. To whoever reading this, you will get there and I promise you, you will make yourself proud. A major tip that I had learned in English 1121, focus on your weakness and try to get better for there. Always ask your professor for some feedback along the way. I mean hey, that’s what they’re there for! Always be kind to yourself as a writer, I’ve learned that the hard way that I wish I knew earlier. Everybody is different, and we all have our imperfections in things. Your writing may be terrible to you, but to others it may be amazing. A message from a person that was just in those shoes, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!! You are you, and you are unique.

 

REVISION FOR EDUCATION ESSAY

Hend Elwahwah

02-6-2019

Dr. Hall

 

   Expectations Vs. Reality

 

         Growing up in a private school my whole life, literally from Pre-k through 12th grade, had a large impact in my life. It has changed my learning experiences in various ways. Good and bad. Throughout that private school life I have experienced lots of joy, happiness, sadness, anxiety, mixed emotions overall. What I could definitely say is that I am very blessed for being in a private school all my life. This was a religious Muslim private school, which lead me to knowing my religion like the back of my hand, memorized more than half of our holy book, read and write my language so fluently and most importantly getting closer to God and having faith in everything. However, at the same time It was a very strict school and their norms were definitely not my norms, but sadly it was something I had to get used to.

 

        Coming into City Tech not having a clue of how it was going to be nor how the classes were going to be was very nerve wrecking for me. I still remember the first day I walked in school itself, thought to myself, is this what a public school looks like? As I got lost about 167 times trying to find my class I finally found it, walking in so nervous, felt so weird being in a class filled with diversity. Not to mention, the private school I had attended was all girl classrooms. It was a gender segregated school. Being around the opposite sex does not differ with me but it is something i need to get used to. When I say I have never attended public school a day in my life I really didn’t. First semester was very surprising for me, I didn’t know what to expect, felt a bit weird at first but I am a very open person and love to communicate with others so it wasn’t hard to get used to. Many people would think I’m shy but I’m total opposite. My learning experiences had changed a lot though. You can say in private you are more spoon fed. Rather than in public school you are all on your own. We were walked through everything instead of us learning on our own the steps for many things. Which was a good and bad thing and something me and all my classmates had took for granted. Private school is just different.

        Let me take you with me through one day of private school… As I’m walking in the building, removing my headphones, putting my phone away. The assistant principle stops everyone to make sure no one has makeup on and if you did they had makeup remover with them so they can give it to you to remove. After that I walk to the backyard if its a nice day out and if its cold I walk up the stairs to the auditorium and than we do sorta like a pledge you can say. Its 5 to 6 pages from our holy book to start our day. This was my favorite part! However, after that we go to our classes and stay in the same class from 8:30 – 3:10. Tragic, i know. Nope, we don’t do such thing named “travel” that most public schoolers do and are used to. Mind you, I’m with the same exact girls ive been with since pre-school. Fun and annoying at the same time, were all like practically sisters. Around 12:30, which is our prayer time, we would be called to go to the prayer room to make prayer with everyone, favorite part, part 2. After we’re done we would have the longest lecture with the principle and assistant principle talking about new rules and dress code. It was really annoying because it always just dragged with them speaking about the same things all the time, but that was one of the downsides of private school. The strictness.

         Coming into a public school had me shocked. There were so many differences compared to a private school especially a gender segregated one. Both private and public school have their pros and cons, educationally. Obviously, private school is education being paid for, therefore we had an upper hand in learning more and as much as I hated taking several AP classes in high school, they helped me alot throughout my college experience and most definitely saved me a lot of money in college. We were forced to take those classes to get our money’s worth in a way. Also, another pro from private school would be having a counselor whenever you need them, to help you with your steps in education and your future. In my opinion, city tech lacks that, ALOT. People like me that go to a private school all their life and end up going to a public college need the help they could get. Especially trying to get used to the public environment and where you would like to go with your education. However, a pro from city tech would be learning how to be independent. Something private school never taught you. Independency is key.

 

        My learning experience has actually changed drastically. Going from private to public real quick was just so different. I was so used to the same people, same routine everyday, looking the same everyday because we had to wear uniform, eating the same thing almost everyday. I got so sick of it and couldn’t wait to start college so I can have a different lifestyle. At the end of my senior year like the last couple of months, i started counting down the days till graduation. I was so sick of the same exact routine. I would literally go home and cry and complain that time was dragging. But, now that im coming into a public institution, I definitely miss private school. However, college is also a great experience but a learning experience I have to get used to. Put my mind to it. Having 2 different learning experiences has changed me in ways that I am thankful for.

         All in all, my learning experiences has shown me paths in life that i am thankful for. It has taught me 2 different ways when i am trying to learn something. Whether it’s in school, family, life in general. Therefore, i am very thankful for these learning experiences. It shows me different paths and ways i could think about things. Im looking forward to this journey i am on in a public institution to learn different things with a place filled with diversity. Something different to get used to but definitely looking forward to the change of learning experiences.

 

RENT

Hend Elwahwah

Dr. Hall

4-1-2019

 

Research memos:

 

What I have researched about my topic Rent, I had learned a lot about budgeting and gentrification and overall where does the money go? What I have found so far is Mortgage, Utilities, Insurance, Maintenance and Repairs and much more. Many of us think like where does the money go? And me myself, I used to think rent is way too high especially for what you’re getting in new york and prices differ depending where you go in new york. But for an example, we could start off with mortgage. If the landlord owns the property you’re living at he  has to pay mortgage and somewhat needs to make a little bit of profit it so he/she could make a living as well. There are pros and cons but I feel like its more cons than pros because the landlord is most definitely well off. Especially compared to low–middle class people renting out your apartments. These low–middle class people probably have a minimum wage job that cant really cover much of their needs and wants. Lets say they pay the rent thats $2,200. Thatll almost be what they make a month and they will probably only have about $200 left for their own wants. That is not okay especially for the only one bedroom — one bathroom apartment. Let alone they have to pay electrical and water bills and much more bills that rent does not cover. Its a two way sorta thing but i think sadly, the cons outweigh the pros.

 

Hend Elwahwah

Dr. Hall

                G.O.A.T

 

J.Cole is one of the greatest rapper of ALL time. He is the GOAT! Not many rappers could relate to J.Cole or his music game, especially in the trashy generation we are in. He has recently released a major fire hit called, “Middle Child.” Cole mentions so many topics during this song. The title on its own has a large meaning. Cole expresses himself as the “Middle Child” in the rap game in today’s generation.

Cole mentions in the song, “Everything grows, it’s destined to change, I love you lil’ niggas, I’m glad that you came I hope that you scrape every dollar you can I hope you know money won’t erase the pain.” What he means by that is actually really deep. Nowadays we got rappers like lil pump and every other “Lil” in the rap game being the “shit.” Sadly, that’s what our generations into. Cole knows that those “Lil Niggas” are way up there and he’s not bashing or hating on them. But what he always tries to do is give them a heads up of how this rap game works, or give them some advice about what it’s really about. Cole also speaks about how he’s wishing the good on them and hoping they can make every dollar they could but just a heads up and a warning, MONEY DON’T ERASE THE PAIN! Every person no matter who you are, famous, rich, poor or a regular person, you’re still going to go through obstacles in life, bad or good. Many people start to think “oh if I had this or that this wouldn’t happen,” truly, that isn’t true. It may seem like having money could clear all your problems and make you live your best life but honestly it makes a person sick. It doesn’t erase any pain, it’s like a temporary medicine that heals you for a little and than it starts all over again. The artist J.Cole is important because he is always trying to send a message to his fans.. and haters believe it or not. You can think of it like this, J.Cole is a wake up call for this generation and upcoming artists. Another lyric the artist shared that caught my eye was, “Im dead in the middle of two generations, I’m little bro and big bro all at once.” He’s acknowledging that he’s learned a lot from the legends before him and is looking to help the new artists coming up.          

Cole is trying to show this generation the perspective of today’s hip hop and how he feels he fits in. He definitely feels that working with the older and younger generation in the industry makes him feel like the, “Middle Child.” You can say, something different. He also mentions older generations in the hit. He mentions drake and how his bond with drake is something different in a good positive way. Both the goats in our era. But in my opinion J.Cole is the OG!

While watching J.coles music video for his hit, “Middle Child” I’ve realized a lot. One of the scenes it shows the audience J.cole driving around in a Bentley, for those of you that aren’t into cars, just know that’s an EXPENSIVE car. Real expensive. As he’s driving around in the Bentley with his boys he’s driving into mud and getting the Bentley all dirty with no care in the world about it. He’s trying to send a message to the audience that money don’t buy you happiness and it most definitely doesn’t erase any pain. Another scenery from the video that caught my attention was the ALL female, powerful marching band, setting the perfect beat for the song. That scene was followed by a white women noticing a black women’s baby hairs and right after that immediately scene switches to the white women in the grocery store shopping for a black women’s face. The black face had a red “special” sticker on the packaging. The video showed lots of appropriation of different levels. How styles of black women are only honored when they are not on black women.

In the video he seems to reference the fact that he’s yet to win a Grammy and that he’s awkwardly stuck between two hip hop generations. He also seems to tackle the topic of cultural appropriation of black people and artists. In the beginning scenery, Cole was in the middle of a crowd. To his right was the older generations, he’s in the middle, and to his left was this generation we are in. That’s how cole really feels. Another scenery that really caught my eye and made me stop and think what is cole really trying to say here. This scene was when the whole crowd ended up lying dead in the morgue and they were wearing Louboutin‘s red bottoms, which are overly expensive and one of the most high end shoes. Those red bottoms end up having dirt come out of them which makes you think how fake and ingenuine the wearer is. Ironically, that scene was followed by one of the dead bodies wearing louboutin heels and has a huge tattoo saying, “Loyalty.” Clearly, there isn’t any loyalty there. Stay aware of your surroundings.

All in all, behind one song it can mean so much. Behind every song there’s some deep meaning behind it. Especially with an artist that’s one of the deepest in our generation, since he is the Middle Child in this rap game. My first time listening to this song I stopped and thought to myself, I know J.cole about to hit us with some heat and most definitely trying to send us a message. When it comes to J.Cole you gotta stay woke! Paying close attention to a rapper as great as Cole, it’ll really open your eyes to a lot. I’m really glad I got to write about this song because once it came out I was hoping we got assigned this assignment! A message I hope y’all get from this is money don’t buy you happiness and choose wisely on what you do, who you with, your circle, stay woke!

 

References:

 

Hend Elwahwah

Dr. Hall

        While I was reading this mentor article I was surprised because that’s the way I wanted to start my essay as well. Speaking about the artist and how amazing his hits are. How it all started and I chose a specific song meanwhile my article chose a specific album. I focused on J.Coles new hit, “Middle Child.” I focused mainly on the lyrics and the meaning behind them. If you know J.Cole, you know he’s deep. Behind every lyric there’s a meaning to why he said that. This article focused on some of the lyrics and the writing style that author did was similar to what I want to do for my essay. It relates a lot to my essay as well because the Audience that the mentor article was focusing on, is the same audience that I’m focusing on. This generation and era. I also like the way the author went with the flow about drake and his past, how he came up, how he stayed up as well. That’s also what I would like to do in my essay, talk about jcoles come up towards the end and relate it back to the lyrics of “Middle Child.”

Something Different

Hend Elwahwah

Dr. Hall

Rough Draft

     Something Different

 

J.Cole is one of the greatest rapper of ALL time. He is the GOAT! Not many rappers could relate to J.Cole or his music game, especially in the trashy generation we are in. He has recently released a major fire hit called, “Middle Child.” Cole mentions so many topics during this song. The title on its own has a large meaning. Cole expresses himself as the “Middle Child” in the rap game in today’s generation.

 

   Cole mentions in the song, “Everything grows, it’s destined to change, I love you lil’ niggas, I’m glad that you came I hope that you scrape every dollar you can I hope you know money won’t erase the pain.” What he means by that is actually really deep. Nowadays we got rappers like lil pump and every other “Lil” in the rap game being the “shit.” Sadly, that’s what our generations into. Cole knows that those “Lil Niggas” are way up there and he’s not bashing or hating on them. But what he always tries to do is give them a heads up of how this rap game works, or give them some advice about what it’s really about. Cole also talks about how he’s wishing the good on them and hoping they can make every dollar they could but just a heads up and a warning, MONEY DON’T ERASE THE PAIN! Every person no matter who you are, famous, rich, poor or a regular person. You’re still going to go through it obstacles in life, bad or good. Many people start to think “oh if I had this or that this wouldn’t happen,” truly, that isn’t true. It may seem like having money could clear all your problems and make you live your best life but honestly it makes a person sick. It doesn’t erase any pain, it’s like a temporary medicine that heals you for a little and than it starts all over again.

 

     Cole is trying to show this generation the perspective of today’s hip hop and how he feels he fits in. He definitely feels that working with the older and younger generation in the industry makes him feel like the, “Middle Child.” You can say, something different. He also mentions older generations in the hit. He mentions drake and how his bond with drake is something different in a good positive way. Both the goats in our era. But in my opinion J.Cole is the OG!

 

Pop Culture

         The author of Moving Beyond Pain made some great points about multiple things. This article speaks about the black female body and the audience of Lemonade. It also spoke about the interpretations of their point of view and of Beyonces point of view. The author often speaks about how she feels like she’s missing the “point.” I found it interesting when the author stated, “From slavery to the present day, black female bodies, clothed and unclothed, have been bought and sold. What makes this commodification different in Lemonade is intent; its purpose is to seduce, celebrate, and delight—to challenge the ongoing present day devaluation and dehumanization of the black female body.” Which has me thinking of what the author is trying to state. Which lead me to the conclusion that she’s trying to relate it back to today’s era and how that’s still an ongoing process that should be stopped. But, i feel like black women are discriminated everyday. The author took Beyonces footage too critical at a point. I feel like Beyonce was just trying to prove a point when she showed the police cars and hurricanes and so on, she  most definitely did not mean to condone any violence. She was just trying to represent a sense of women empowerment.