https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wmqW0A8HbuphJV_f_itpTWiqnR-Y4irZZ7_LvOCndDM/edit?usp=sharing
2 thoughts on “Aldo Essay 2 Draft”
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In your essay, you did mention the song and artist name clearly and also stated the reason you’re writing about this particular song. My one comment is that it would be clearer if you mentioned the song name and artist somewhere in the introduction or in the beginning of the essay.
You didn’t really make a clear link between the song and a specific social issue. The article that you mentioned made me understand what the social issue was, but it wasn’t that clear in my opinion, but you did vividly explain the music video but not the sound or what the song sounded like. Also, you did use a text that explained what the song was talking about. Reading the quotes you used from the article made me understand the social issue that was being discussed in the song. Overall, your essay is really good and there really isn’t much to change up.
I liked how you gave so many details and was clear about the social issue that connects with your song. But I would say describe the music more like the sounds or beats.