My Mater passed away in 2010 in September and the anniversary date is nigh.

My feelings change year in, and year, year, year…until the present. What? This is a fact: her passage; yet: My feelings are fact. Reconciling them never quite happens, as heart and mind refuse — never — align.

Fact is, this year differs. She is at rest under the earth — earth which I helped dig.

I still recall the thud.

Sad, terribly sad. Missing her advice, her laugh, her hair.

Please visit me in dreams.