Explanation 1:Â For my first essay I read over it and I noticed some grammatical errors, more specifically my comma was spaced instead of being right after the word. I also added the word indirectly in my conclusion. My biggest change was that I added the reason why my Dad couldn’t read in my second paragraph. I think it was very foolish of me to not give the answer for him not being able to read. there are numerous things that could’ve been the reason for him not being able to read like reading disorders, or problems with brain development. I didn’t want the audience struggling to figure out why. The biggest thing I incorporated for my essay was the strategy that Anne Lamott did in “Shitty first drafts”. I procrastinated, I used a bad word and I wrote to my audience as if they were talking directly to me. I did this because it was easier for me to write this essay if I was just being myself. For the feedback I got, I didn’t really get critiqued in a negative way. It was all just positive feedback and I think the reason it was positive was because of my intro and my conclusion which included a great catchy poem by Gil Scott.
Essay 1: Slaves werenât allowed to learn how to read because slave owners feared that if slaves were educated then they would have the knowledge to rebel and fight back. gaining the ability to read was like a weapon for slaves. Although in that example slaves used the ability to read as a way to create new tactics and plans to fight against and put an end to the inhumane act of slavery, reading is still valuable and important for people today. Reading is a skill that we have to use everyday so we donât get screwed over in life. Being able to read something while also breaking down and processing the information within seconds is  cool. Itâs kind of like a super power or a sixth sense. Our brain is multitasking, we should really give it some credit. My personal experience with reading was influenced and formed by my Dadâs experience with learning how to read. My Dad not knowing how to read taught me that reading is important when it comes to succeeding in life because not only was he reliant on other people to help him when it came to reading bills and instructions, but it also impacted me as a kid as I was unable to keep up in class and had no one to help me with my homework which almost led me to failing.
I was born in Staten Island but I lived in a really bad neighborhood. It was filled with really bad people, people were doing drugs and sometimes you would hear shots ring out and I would have to duck under the bed and stay away from the windows and âmind my own businessâ. The reason I am telling you the reader, is because my Dad was unable to get good paying jobs because he was unable to read. My Dad was unable to read because the teachers in his school didn’t really care about him or help him when he was struggling. instead they discouraged him and focused on the people with high test scores (who were white). He dropped out of a school because no one believed in him or tried to help him. This led us to live to in low income neighborhoods where violence was prevalent. Growing up I learned the impact that reading had on me when I was in school. Reading is an important skill because without it you wonât be able to succeed in school. The reason you wonât be able to succeed in school without reading is because you just wonât be able to follow along in class or complete homework and assignments. When I was in second grade I needed help with my homework because I couldnât read or understand the questions. I remember walking up to my Dad and asking him to read the questions to me but he just waved his hand off at me, signaling me to go away. He told me couldnât help me because he couldnât read it. I began to get zeroes on my homework grades because of both our inability to read. One day the teacher called my parents asking why I wasnât doing my homework. My Dad had to explain to the teacher that he couldnât read and couldnât help me. It was embarrassing for him and I could tell it hurt him emotionally because he didnât like showing up to my school after the phone calls. I also was couldnât participate in class because I couldnât read. The teacher would bring out childrenâs books, (not Dr Seuss of course because he just made up words and people ate out of his palm for it.) Â and tell us all to follow along. I couldnât follow along because I didnât know what they were reading and I didnât know wether they had finished a page or not. One time the teacher called on me to read a page out of the book and I froze in terror and said nothing and just stared at the page. One of the assistants came over and told me I was even on the right page and she flipped it for me but it didnât matter because I just couldnât understand what the hell any of the words said. Some of the classmates laughed at me and one of them called me a pejorative word ( itâs the word thatâs very disrespectful towards people with mental disabilities and it begins with an R, now that Iâm thinking about it , I donât know how he had knowledge of that word in the second grade.) I came home frustrated and very upset that day. These experiences taught me that reading is important to learn when it comes to school because without the ability to read, there will be learning barriers and youâll fall behind in class like me.
Watching my Dad struggle with things that he could easily resolve on his own if he knew how to read taught me that lacking the ability to read will make you reliant and dependent on people. Relying on people can be a bad thing because youâll never   be able do things on your own and trusting complete random strangers can lead to obtaining false information or missing information. When I was older my Dad would drive us around ( in case youâre wondering , he had to have a scribe read the questions to him in order to pass his test) but he would always need me or my mom to read what parking signs would say. For example the sign would say Tuesday and Friday 8:30-10am. My Dad was reliant on us, he always would ask one of us to stay in the car so that he can find parking and know which side to park on. One time we werenât there to help read the sign to him and he parked on the wrong side and got a ticket, yea thatâs how bad the dependency was . The one time he tried to do something on his own he got screwed over. My Dad would also struggle when it came to understanding important papers. When my Dad would get letter, he would always wait until my Mom came home since he couldnât read them. He would also have to bring my Mom with him to meetings with insurance companies to make sure the people at the insurance company werenât leaving out important information and taking advantage of him. My Dad also couldnât do paperwork on his own , he had trouble filling out job applications on his own( as I said earlier , he got jobs that didnât require reading, like working at a park). He struggled with everything in life because everything requires reading and understanding. The lesson is that without the ability to read you will struggle in life and will have a hard time making a living for not only yourself but for your family.
Reading is important because you will struggle in life and will always have to rely on people if you canât read. My Dad is a perfect example of the, he canât read important papers, he canât fill out job applications and he has a hard time parking. His inability to read also impacted me indirectly because I struggled in school when it came to my grades since no one was there to help read the homework questions to me and I couldnât keep up in class. In history reading and writing has helped people of color. It helped break the chains of slavery, it helped us learn about our history, we learn to tell stories of oppression through literature, poem, text. âI canât pay no doctor bill (but whiteyâs on the moon), Ten years from now iâll be payin still (while whiteyâs on the moon.) The man jus upped my rent las night (cause whiteyâs on the moon).â- Gil Scott Heron. Iâm glad I gained the skill the read because I get to read beautiful poems like that which express the the impact that the space race had on blacks in the 1960s. Reading is powerful and people should utilize it and take advantage of it.
Explanation 2:Â In my Bibliography I changed some minor things and added some small details. I didn’t touch my introduction because I think it was perfect and a great way to grab the reader’s attention. The changes start happening in the middle of the 2nd paragraph, more specifically when giving my opinion on Dan’s part. I added in that I think that the idea of stealing jobs is a ridiculous concept and so is being mad at someone for wanting to have a job. Another change I did was that I tried to connect to Juan’s story. Juan and my Dad both got discouraged at school and both dropped out, I added that part in. Â the fourth paragraph and conclusion I left untouched because I think they were just fine, I didn’t think I could improve them very much. I didn’t really incorporate anything from our teachings into my bibliography because I felt that this was something that relied on the genre. I know that we read about how to look at different genres and express them but I didn’t use any of those techniques because I thought it wasn’t needed. Â I will admit that I felt like a news journalist though. the feedback I receive was also positive. Just a good work compliment.
Bibliography: When I was first tasked with this assignment, I had no idea what I was going to write or what my question would be, So I decided to take a page out of Anne Lamottâs page and procrastinate. I sat there and watched the latest episode of  âfalcon and the winter soldier.â The episode I watched discussed (spoilers) how there was actually a black super soldier before Steve Rodgers, The fictional character that we would know to be captain America today. The black soldier named Isaiah Bradley fought against nazis during World War Two but instead of getting rewarded for his actions, he was thrown in jail and experimented on. This episode reminded me of what happened to people of color in real life when they returned home from a war. They didnât get any recognition or medals and people refused to put them on tv or talk about them in a positive way. But since we started protesting and fighting for our rights, more and more people became more open which led to diversity becoming more common. These real life and fictional events inspired my research question, how has diversity changed over the years and how has it impacted minorities? I expect to find examples of the how diversity changed from the past to present and how do people actually feel about seeing someone who shares their same culture and race on tv, or in a book or in person.
Often when talking about diversity, people usually think itâs about adding more blacks to shows and stories. But diversity is a lot of other things. One example of diversity is how immigrants of different ethnic backgrounds and race go to different countries and cause a shift in the communities by making them more integrated and changing the percentage of what race lives there. According to the âPopulation Reference Bureau Americaâs Diversity and Growth: signposts for the 21st centuryâ https://www.prb.org/americasdiversityandgrowthsignpostsforthe21stcenturypdf503kb/ Americans in the 20th century were worried about how their population would develop if they let immigrants in and how it would affect the ethnic balance of their community. The article also talked about how before immigration became more common, people living in America had a shorter life expectancy and from the 1900s to now America had become significantly more diverse racially and ethnically.  After immigration became more and more common the life expectancy increased. Immigrants moving to the country also caused a change in the education system, more specifically what race and what gender was allowed to attend school and college. Although this author is talking about how immigration impacted America in a positive way, there are some people who are against immigration and would say itâs a bad thing. https://apnews.com/press-release/pr-prnewswire/061357913b803d71caec9992ea155798 In this article AP news is quoting Dan Stein, president of FAIR( Federation For American Immigration Reform). Dan explains that âillegal aliensâ cost taxpayers about 454 million dollars each year for the provision of education and health care and local schools struggle to provide educators and cover the cost to take care of limited English proficient students, he also states that the growing immigrant population competes with legal residents ability to obtain jobs in economically depressed areas. Here I Donât like or agree with the way Dan uses the term alien when referring to a human being, I also see no problem with money going towards an actual thing that helps people. They teach us in school that education is the most valuable thing so it would make sense that we put money towards something so important. I also donât get Danâs argument about jobs, he claims that immigration brings less skillful workers, but if we keep putting money towards the education of immigrants there shouldnât be a problem with a skill gap, if he could even prove that exists. He also says theyâre stealing jobs from legal residents but I donât believe that. I think the whole concept of stealing jobs is a ridiculous excuse, after all how can you be mad at someone for wanting to work? I believe that immigrants take the jobs that no one else is willing to take and that they actually need these jobs more than legal residents because they most likely came to this country with nothing, looking for better living conditions and better opportunities. The purpose for AP news writing this article was to show why immigration was a bad thing and how it impacted America financially. the writing style AP news chose was like a bulleted list  with a statement thrown in there from the president of FAIR. I donât think FAIR is really credible because their whole thing is to just talk to citizens who are concerned about immigrants and anyone can do that. AP news probably chose this style because it was short and to the point and they wanted to highlight what Dan was saying. I think it was a good choice for the intended audience because lots of people who are biased towards immigrants have a hard time reading and breaking down information so AP news helped them. The purpose for the Population Reference Bureau writing the article was to show that immigration has actually helped communities and that diversity is not a bad thing. The author wrote this article like they were a historian. they included no personal information about themself and chose to go straight to the facts. I thought the article was very interesting, specifically the way the author talks about diversity but in the sense of it being about immigration. I agree that immigration helps more than it hurts. I believe the author is credible because the PRB is a non profit organization and its purpose is to just collect and supply data. There seems to be no ill intent. The author chose this genre because they wanted to present the information to us as a history lesson most likely. I think this is a good choice for the intended audience because it doesnât share any opinions, itâs just all facts and anyone can take this information and use it to justify immigration.
When I was little, me and the other kids used to pretend to be characters from shows and movies. One day we were pretending to be super heroes and I recall saying to my friend, I want to be âSpider-Manâ. He replied (in a high pitch voice) saying âyou canât be Spider-Man, heâs not blackâ. Hearing those words made me pretty upset, not because he said I couldnât be Spider-Man because I was black but because there really werenât any black heroes or popular black people that I knew. Years later they  did create a new Spider-Man who was black and latino named Miles Morales, and there were other black heroes like Static Shock and War Machine and Blade. Seeing people who looked like me, Who talked like me, Who lived like me really did make a difference to me. I thought being black was cool, I learned more about my culture by seeing more shows with black people. âEverybody hates Chris was a very relatable show.â Diversity not only had a positive impact on me but also a positive impact on this author named Juan Del Toro. https://socialsciences.nature.com/posts/45551-diversity-and-inclusion-how-both-changed-my-life Author Juan Del Toro tells us about his story and how he felt like he was being discriminated  against because he was the only Spanish speaking student in his professorâs class. His unnamed professor learned that Spanish was his native language and advised him to drop his classes ( which he did) because he believed that Juan would struggle in classes. This reminded me of what my Dad told me about how school teachers discouraged him and gave up on him which ultimately led my Dad to dropping out. When Juan met other people who looked like him and sounded like him, he began to study again and succeeded this time. Juan came to the realization that diversity and inclusion had a positive impact on him and changed his life because he felt more comfortable with people who looked like him and felt that his Spanish wasnât handicapping him. Although me and Juan both experienced microagressions, I believe Juan had it way worse because his teacher encouraged him to drop out while I just couldnât be the hero I wanted to be.  Juan chose to write in first person and tell a personal statement about something that he experienced. Juan chose to tell this story to show the discrimination that people face when it comes to sharing a space with people who donât look like you but to also show that you shouldnât give up and that youâre not alone. I think Juan is credible because this is him just telling his truth, heâs not trying to convince us of anything. He just wants to tell us his story and how diversity has helped him. Also he gave us the name of his teachers and of the people who still help him to this day but not the name of the professor who wanted him to drop classes. This shows me that he doesnât want to highlight the negative but focus on the positive. He also leaves us with a little update that he is currently a post doctoral research fellow at the university of Pittsburgh. He also has a dissertation on racial discrimination. This tells me that heâs serious about helping people and letting people know about discrimination and his story most likely motivated him to to write that dissertation. I think it was a good choice for the intended audience because heâs trying to let minorities know that they are not alone and that there are people that look just like you who will help. Some people do say that diversity is bad when it comes to certain environments, for example when it comes to managing a company or workplace. Glenn Llopis states that diversity and inclusion fails when it comes to managing companies. Forbes- https://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2017/01/16/5-reasons-diversity-and-inclusion-fails/?sh=4c5524d850df in this article Glenn gives 5 reasons as to why diversity and inclusion fails in a workplace environment. those reasons are that diversity and inclusion initiatives only focus on recruitment and reputation management which limits them and leaves them disconnected from enterprise wide growth opportunities. companies actually end up solving for the wrong thing when trying to solve for diversity and inclusion, diversity and inclusion should make the company better on the inside and more competitive on the outside. the third reason is that diversity solves for recognition instead of respect and it should be the opposite, we should be trying to earn respect from people in our workplace. the 4th reason is that we keep looking at diversity as a melting pot but we should be looking at it as a mosaic and we should take advantages of our differences. His final reason is that when diversity and inclusion initiatives are weak, it causes regression in the success of a business. I disagree with Glenn mostly because of the way heâs looking at diversity, heâs looking at diversity as if itâs suppose to be profited off of. Diversity is meant to help the workers feel more comfortable, not so the company could gain more money. Diversity isnât a business. I also donât like the way that he started off by using a quote from Martin Luther king Jr. He tries to use Martin Luther kingâs words to disrespect diversity and inclusion initiatives even though Martin Luther king Jr would most definitely be pro diversity plans. Also I think he brought up that quote from Martin Luther King Jr to make it seem like he isnât biased towards people of color and to make it seem like he actually cares about them. I also donât agree with him saying that we should earn respect from people, I donât want to have to earn respect from a racist or someone whoâs discriminatory. thatâs just completely ridiculous, Iâm not going out of my way to try to earn respect from a disgusting person.  The author Glenn chose to write the article like a list and like a caution to companies who do things to be inclusive and diverse. He starts off by quoting MLK jr and explains the problem with diversity and inclusion then proceeds to list his reasons. The purpose of the author writing this article was to show that diversity doesnât always work in companies and that there are better ways to go about diversity and inclusion. I donât think the author is credible because I never really heard of this guy but heâs supposed to be really good at business and apparently knows that diversity is whatâs causing businesses to fail. He also starts using tweets from twitter and thatâs not a very reliable source. I believe the author chose this genre because he just wanted to tell a precautionary tale to companies who are using diversity and inclusion. This is a good choice for his intended audience because itâs not too complicated, he gets to the point.
Earlier I mentioned that when talking about diversity we usually talk about black people and race but diversity can go beyond that. It can be about different cultures or religions. I talked about the impact of diversity and how it changed over the years but I didnât talk about why we needed diversity. From what I learned, diversity is needed because it helps us create a better understanding of each other, it helps put an end to stereotypes, it gives other people a chance to shine in the light and people grow more accepting of each other. Elizabeth A. Segal Ph.D https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-empathy/201907/why-we-need-diversity uses examples of different types of diversity.  She talks about why diversity is important when it comes to plants, she explains that if you plant the same type of tree in a park and it gets a disease, the rest will get the same disease, but putting different varieties of trees will ensure that some will thrive and some can fight off pest. Elizabeth also talks about how people were so afraid of diversity, that it led to inbreeding which led to higher mortality rates and genetic disorders. She also gives us examples of how diversity can lead to better health in terms of the different types of food we eat. She then uses an example of financial diversification about how if we put all of our money in one stock and that stock fails then we lose all our money. Elizabeth talks about the positives of workplace diversity, about how it produces cognitive processing and the exchange of more information. Finally Elizabeth talks about the diversity of culture. Having different cultures creates new ideas and questions and it breaks us away from âgroupthinkâ. Groupthink is when a group of well-intentioned people make irrational decisions spurred by the urge to conform. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/groupthink My opinion on Elizabethâs work is that I think Elizabeth should focus on just 1 type of diversity because Iâm confused as to what audience sheâs trying to pull in. The type of writing style she uses it sort of like a blog, thereâs a positive tone to everything she is saying. She has a certified Ph.D which makes me believe she knows what sheâs talking about. The purpose of writing this was just to show that diversity is good. I think the author is credible because all of the thingâs sheâs mentioned are facts. I believe the author chose this genre because she probably thought the blog style would attract older people or people who love to read blogs and interact with blogs. I donât think this was a good choice for her intended audience because first off I donât even know who sheâs trying to reach out to, she goes from talking about plants, to food, to inbreeding, to work, to culture. and itâs in blog style so it seems kind of random. I think her main message was to just show different examples of diversity and how in every circumstance, Itâs always a good thing.
While looking for answers to answer my research question, how has diversity changed over the years and what impact did it have on minorities? I Found that even in the past century there have been significant changes, I learned that people feared that their communities would more ethnically diverse if they let immigrants in and they also were scared that the population would change, but when America started letting more immigrants in, there were positive changes such as life expectancy increasing, communities became more integrated, Minorities being allowed to attend school. Then I read the story of a guy who was discriminated against because his native language was Spanish, and he dropped his class because his college professor encouraged him to. He then met other people that he could relate to and started to feel more comfortable which led to him succeeding in school. This taught me that diversity has a positive effect on minorities. Next I looked into why diversity was important. The author named Elizabeth gave examples of not only why diversity is important but also the different kinds of diversity. She mentions biodiversity which talks about how you have to plant different types of plants to ensure they survive. She talks about financial diversity which explains that you should put your money in different stocks because itâs less risky, she mentions how workplace diversity helps cognitive thinking and how cultural diversity encourages new ideas and questions. The thing that surprised me was how there were so many different types of diversity. I didnât think about non-human diversity at all. When I first created my question, I was only thinking about discrimination only against people of color and the impact it had on them but I realized diversity has an everyone. I think what I learned is important because it opens my eyes to more areas of diversity, I also learned that itâs not ridiculous to be happy because you see someone that looks like you. I think anyone should hear about this, minorities, people who are LGBTQ, anyone who has faced discrimination, anyone who has faced microagressions. Diversity gives people a chance to fit in and a chance to meet other people.
Artist statement:Â
Explanation 3:Â In my artist statement, the only revisions I made was splitting up my statement. it was all clustered together and that was the only negative feedback I got for it. If I had more time to revise it, I would add more stuff about myself. like my experience growing up in a poor neighborhood in Staten Island. although it is important to know why the author wrote the bibliography, I also feel that it is important to get to know the author more so it doesn’t feel like you’re talking to a stranger. I would also add in how I felt about being able to complete the assignment. This is my 2nd biggest thing that I ever wrote and it gives me confidence knowing that I was able to accomplish something like that. I wish I could have pretended to be a famous author and include a Q&A session where readers would fill out this blank spot at the end of the bibliography and mail it to my PO Box so I can answer the questions and return it to them signed.
what I learned: While looking for answers for my research question, how has diversity changed over the years and what impact did it have on minorities? I Found that even in the past century there have been significant changes, I learned that people feared that their communities would more ethnically diverse if they let immigrants in and they also were scared that the population would change, but when America started letting more immigrants in, there were positive changes such as life expectancy increasing, communities became more integrated, Minorities being allowed to attend school. Then I read the story of a guy who was discriminated against because his native language was Spanish, and he dropped his class because his college professor encouraged him to. He then met other people that he could relate to and started to feel more comfortable which led to him succeeding in school. This taught me that diversity has a positive effect on minorities. Next I looked into why diversity was important. The author named Elizabeth gave examples of not only why diversity is important but also the different kinds of diversity. She mentions biodiversity which talks about how you have to plant different types of plants to ensure they survive. She talks about financial diversity which explains that you should put your money in different stocks because itâs less risky, she mentions how workplace diversity helps cognitive thinking and how cultural diversity encourages new ideas and questions. The thing that surprised me was how there were so many different types of diversity. I didnât think about non-human diversity at all. When I first created my question, I was only thinking about discrimination only against people of color and the impact it had on them but I realized diversity has an everyone. I think what I learned is important because it opens my eyes to more areas of diversity, I also learned that itâs not ridiculous to be happy because you see someone that looks like you. I think anyone should hear about this, minorities, people who are LGBTQ, anyone who has faced discrimination, anyone who has faced microagressions. Diversity gives people a chance to fit in and a chance to meet other people.
How I thought of my research question: I was just laying in bed thinking to myself, âman I really donât want to think about this projectâ, in fact I didnât even have a clue on what my topic was going to be. So I just started watching tv and it was a Friday and I had just gotten out of biology class. I deserved the break honestly, I had to sit there for the whole day listening to my teacher talk about sodium ion pumps and these different active transports. So anyways a new falcon and the winter soldier episode came out and I decided to watch that. Little did I know, that episode would have a huge influence on the topic I would choose. In the episode I saw, they discussed how there were other super soldiers before Steve Rodgers and those super soldiers were black. The main black soldier was named Isaiah Bradley who also fought against nazis during World War Two. Instead of getting rewarded for his actions, Isaiah Bradley was thrown in jail and experimented on for years to the point that he never got to see his family and they all passed away. This episode reminded me of what happened to people of color in real life when they returned home from a war. They didnât receive any recognition for fighting or any medals and were overshadowed by white soldiers. They also refused to put people of color on tv or talk about them in a positive way In public. Then I thought about how people fought for their rights which put an end to discrimination and it eventually segregation. These real life and fictional events from the show influenced what topic question I was going to choose, how diversity has changed over the years and what impact did it have on minorities? I knew that now that I had my research question I had to think about who I wanted to write this to.
The audience I was trying to reach: I decided this bibliography was mainly directed towards minorities because I figured that if they knew how drastically our past has changed then they would know that nothing is impossible and unity can be achieved. I also wanted them to know that itâs ok to feel more comfortable around people that share your same race and culture. When writing this bibliography I had hoped that my piece would be shown in schools more specifically high schools because I feel thatâs the perfect environment to give minorities a voice. In my bibliography I started looking for things that I know would interest or pull the audience in. I wanted my audience to feel emotionally connected (pathos) to the bibliography while also leaving them with true facts (logos) that happened so they can see the truth. After I decided what kind of appeal I would use to bring in the audience, I started to choose the types of genres as well. I chose to include my personal story growing up about not having a lot of black heroes as a kid and another personâs story who learned that diversity makes for a better work environment for him because I wanted my audience to be able to connect with me as an author. I wanted them to know that I struggled with the same feelings that they did. I chose to include a historical document because I wanted my audience to see how diversity and different viewpoints have changed. This was the best choice for them because it provided information in a non biased way. For my audience I chose the blog style because I thought it was interesting for them to see that diversity isnât just beneficial to people. This was the best way to provide quick information without them getting bored. they mightâve even learned a new word called âgroupthinkâ.
Writing process: earlier I mentioned how I got the idea of my topic question, now I will take you through my writing process. First I just couldnât get that falcon and winter soldier episode out of my head so I knew I was gonna lead with it, especially to get people in school interested in what was in my bibliography. Next I mentioned some things about what happened in the past to people of color so they know that itâs gonna get serious. I also threw in my own personal account because I feel that personal stories are more interesting. I started to think what do I want to lead off with first? I donât know why but I led off with the most boring part of my essay, the historical document. Then thatâs when In the second paragraph I threw in my story and Juanâs story because I felt it blended well and it was something to pull the readers back in after that first boring paragraph. while looking for what I was gonna include in my third paragraph I came across a weird lady who wrote like a blog style post and I found it really interesting so I decided that what my third paragraph was gonna be about. I believed it would have students thinking outside the box. Things I felt that went really well were how I was able to make an interesting topic sentence and find inspiration for my topic question. I also think my story and Juanâs story went really well when it came to building a connection with the audience.
Positives and negatives: I feel my first paragraph should have been the second paragraph because I think it messed up the flow. when I created my final draft of my bibliography, I realized that it was missing opposite viewpoints and my opinion on those opposite viewpoints so I included those things that originally wasnât in my rough draft. altogether looking at my bibliography I think it turned out pretty alright for a college student who never wrote a bibliography in his life. I think it turned out alright because Iâm just really proud of how I drew inspiration from a show and made a whole research question off of that. It also went well because it got my point across that diversity has changed for the better and it impacted minorities in a positive way. If I had more resources and money I would definitely pay for a personal editor just so he can give me better ideas but I would also search for better research links if I had more time. in all honesty I donât think money would change my writing process that much, I would mainly use it to try and get my bibliography out in the public through advertising. writing this whole thing was pretty hard for me, just because of how time consuming it was and I had to think a lot about how I wanted to approach this. Having this as a college project wasnât as bad as I thought. Once you get into the flow of it, it gets easier. In the future I definitely will draw inspiration from the things that were around me again.
