She could feel her heart beating out of her chest as the tears streamed down her face. It was dark and cold. She could feel his eyes on her but she couldnāt bring herself to look into them. The tension in the car was so heavy she thought she might suffocate. He screamed at her to get out of the car and she begged him not to leave but it was too late. His eyes were no longer filled with love and tenderness, they were filled with hatred and anger. When she opened the door she could feel the wind hitting her face as the tears poured out of her eyes. Not a second had gone by before he drove off at full speed. She yelled after the car as she watched it get farther and farther away and in that moment she knew she had lost him. Foreverā¦
āI love you so much,ā Jalen said as he smothered her face in kisses.
It was barely audible but Aubree could make out those words no matter the situation. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. Aubree could feel how much Jalen loved her just by the way he looked at her. She knew that as lucky as he felt to have his first love in his arms, she would always be the truly lucky one. Jalen adored her, he would have done anything for and she knew that. He gave her security, love, happiness, everything a person wants in a relationship. After being hurt so many times, Aubree thought she would never be able to trust someone enough with her heart but Jalen made it all so easy. Sometimes it felt unreal to finally have the kind of boy she had only dreamt of, but there he was, looking into her eyes waiting for a response.
āI love you more bebesitoā Aubree said as she leaned in and pressed her lips against his.
His lips were so plump and always so soft. She knew she sounded silly for thinking that his lips felt like clouds, that it was something that a person in a movie would say, but she couldnāt think of anything else to describe the way his lips felt. He held her in his arms as they watched Grown Ups 2, she could feel his breathing slow down once the laughter between them died down, and then his heart rate would pick back up again when he would laugh at the movie scenes.
They had both already seen this movie but Adam Sandler was Jalenās favorite actor so she agreed to rewatch the movie for him. In all honesty, Aubree didnāt care what movie they watched because she never really focused on the movie anyways. She always got distracted as she would run her fingers along his arms, make circles around his hands or even intertwine her fingers in his. While his eyes were fixated on the TV her eyes were fixated on his hands. She remembered all the times he would touch the side of her face so gently before leaning in to kiss her. She remembered the way the palm of his hands would feel against her back as he would hug her. She even remembered the way he would run his fingers through her hair and she would always yell out in pain because her hair would get tangled so easily because it was so long. Even when she would give him attitude or snap at him for small things, he still adored her and fell in love with her more and more each day.
āDonāt go, just sleepover,ā Aubree said.
She spent so much dwelling on the love she had for this one person that without even noticing, the movie had ended and it was 1AM.
āI canāt baby, my mom is waiting for meā Jalen said as he leaned down and kissed her forehead.
After several failed attempts at preventing him from leaving her house, she walked him to the door and gave him a goodbye hug.
āIāll be here tomorrow at 10 bebe,ā he said.
But tomorrow never came. They would never have another tomorrow together again…
Her eyes felt swollen as she peeled them open. She could feel the dried up tear stains on her cheeks that made her face feel tight. Aubree grabbed her phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen. Jalen never answered her texts. How could he, he hadnāt received them anyways, he blocked her. Blocked. That word alone drove her crazy. The feeling of being shut off, muted. She deserved it though and she knew she did. Her dream had felt so real, she really believed it was. But it wasnāt. That would never happen again.
She got out of bed and walked up to her dresser. She stared at the reflection looking back at her, searching for something different this time. Maybe a person she recognized. But just like every other day, all she saw was eyebags and dried tear stains. Her eyes were dull and no longer bright the way they used to be. They were just dull and glossy. Aubree thought to herself how nice it would have been if her dream were a reality. If she could be in the arms of the boy she loves most in this world. And when she thought of this she realized, her dream was a reality. She lived through those experiences, she felt the love between her and Jalen. And then she ruined it. By something so stupid. Her worst fear was losing Jalen. Now her nightmare was a reality and her dream was just that, a dream. Aubree closed her eyes and envisioned his car driving away the night she told him the truth. It wasnāt just the car driving away. It was his love, his trust, him. With that thought, she got back in bed and closed her eyes again. Dreaming about Jalen was so much better than living a life where he could no longer even look at her. So she faded away into her dreams, where Jalen was there waiting for her.
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