In the quiet morning of Toronto everyone is sitting in their desk in an office working and looking to the sky. That’s what Avreen did when the pandemic started. She was a manager at the Federal Reserve System Bank looking outside she took a glimpse of the people dying and being sent to the hospital beds. While on a zoom call she told several of her colleagues on how she wanted to walk away from the position for some time. Her one goal remains it was to find what is causing this virus to spread crazy in her hometown of Canada. Often times she would find ways to get a job in a hospital and investigate several patient’s condition. Other actions she took was buying books and studying every day. Finding out how different viruses interact with the immune system. But as she was studying the one thing, she realized was that this virus was completely different from others. It speeded like from a main component of our body which is the mouth After months of study and intensive Research she joined Toronto General Hospital. For a girl like her who studied science in the past and now it benefited for her college studies and family. From that time day and on night she sacrificed so much for herself and people in Punjab India.
Then that night her boyfriend her why she had to do all that instead of focusing into her career. ” Making small changes to help the world get back is always a great implied “Avreen . “Thanks” Das grimmed . ” Now will you ever go back to doing something Asked Aninda ?” Avreen Answered with a smile on her face ” If something makes me a millionaire i will do it .” With a smile .
On June 7 2021 she was given an award of $90000 from the government in Toronto who gave her a lot of praise in her actions to stop the spread of covid. And here we are in 2022 this virus went down. Many people don’t even have to wear mask outside and can now travel safely all because of her. Now she is giving for her parents what they once gave to her several years back.
1. I enjoyed how flexible the character is with her studies, you made them seem strong and determined.
3. I feel like you should switch the part where it says her boyfriend asked and put an actual dialogue of how he felt
4. You should add a small convo where they are talking to their collegue
I liked the story plotting.
In the dialogue there was suggestions that I liked.
I think maybe you could add one or two more dialogues.
In the end of the story maybe a little more detail about her parents can be added.
1. The character’s background and what she was about overall was pretty good, that was very enjoyable.
2. The dialogue was short and simple, it didn’t have to be overlapped with unneeded words.
3 &4. Including more dialogue in the beginning and ending of the story to shape the characters thoughts and feelings would’ve helped much more, otherwise solid story.