Prof. Jessica Penner | D304 | Spring 2022

Allen Shen short story 2 (revised with dialogue)

Dave pressed the power button on his laptop, and strained his darkness-adjusted eyes when the laptop screen booted up. Both he and Cindy, who was sleeping on their double bed across the bedroom, just came back from an 8-hour flight from London, and they were exhausted. Dave, however, could not rest as he had one last assignment to finish for tomorrow, an assignment from his Argumentative and Persuasive Writing class. 

Dave hurriedly signed in to his email to look for the email the professor sent him. Due to his grandpa’s sudden stroke towards the end of his vacation, Dave was forced to delay his return to Los Angeles, making him skip his first week of classes. Fortunately, his teachers were very accommodating, and most sent their first assignments and even lecture notes. While Dave had completed most of them on the airplane ride, he had yet to start the one from his English 114 Argumentative and Persuasive Writing class, and he was groaning at having to complete it while so fatigued. 

His despair was quickly eliminated when he read the assignment worksheet the professor linked him. On the top of the page, it read:

                The Introduction: the hook and thesis

He quickly skimmed the rest of the worksheet, and by the end of it, burst out laughing, his sharp laughter filling the otherwise quiet room. Cindy, who grumpily woke up, turned to face Dave while still lying down, and threw her pillow at him. 

“Hey, quiet down, I’m trying to sleep” 

“Sorry-” Dave was still giggling, struggling to control his laughter, “Hey Cindy, come take a look at this”

Cindy groaned, but drearily pushed down the comforter and rubbed her eyes as she walked towards him, almost tripping over half opened luggage in the few meters it took to reach him. As she bent over to peer into the computer, eyes squinting to adjust to the laptop screen, her face quickly contorted to one of bemusement and disbelief. 

“What the hell is this? Is this your English one fourteen assignment?”

“It is”

“What are the main components of an introduction??? Didn’t we learn this in Middle School? Why are you learning it in a College class?”

“Beats me.” Dave said as he shrugged. 

“Wait, you are NOT wasting your time with this. The late deadline for class signup hasn’t passed yet. Drop this class and take something else”

“I would, but this is a required class”

“Really? For a physics major?”

“I could show you my degree requirements if you want” 

“No, it’s fine.” Cindy stood back up, tying her messy bed hair into a loose ponytail. “Doesn’t this kinda suck for you? I thought you hated wasting your time, and now you’re going to have to sit in for lectures that don’t teach you anything”

“O yeah, this blows. Sitting in this class for 2 hours every week just to relearn stuff we learned at middle school couldn’t get any more boring. Hopefully the professor will allow me to use my laptop, I can just browse the news or something.”

“Good luck with that.” Cindy walked out the bedroom, towards the kitchen sink that was located on the other side of the one bedroom apartment. “I’m going back to bed after drinking water. Enjoy the easiest homework of your life.”

“I might finish before you come back.” They both chuckled, and Cindy would eventually return to Dave peacefully sleeping.  

5 Comments

  1. Aide Jimenez

    What I enjoy about the story is the way how it’s creative. As well how the dialogue is well written.

  2. Account Deleted

    I enjoy the dialogue exchange between Cindy and Dave

    • Account Deleted

      I enjoyed the premise of the story
      I feel like the dialogue between them should be similar to what college students would actual say

  3. Christopher Mizhquiri

    Is good

  4. Christopher Mizhquiri

    I enjoyed the Easter egg that was placed in this story, I liked the conversation that was taking place with the characters in the dialogue, just add more dialogue that is more meaningful. The start would need some dialogue overall good story

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