Growing up I’ve always felt like I was on my own. My parents were always working and once they came home were too tired to do much. My sister was within her own world dealing with her own stuff. I didn’t have much of a choice on feeling like I was on my own; it was more so just unavoidable due to the circumstances my family had been in. I didn’t just feel anonymous within my household, it was everywhere and anywhere I went. School I would have my group of friends however even then at times I felt like I didn’t belong or I wasn’t special.

I recall this moment back in junior year of highschool where my friend group had started to fade. I knew it was bound to happen, yet I wasn’t prepared for the way it would feel. Junior year was not a good time for me personally. I had become distant from those who I was once close with. I became distant due to my mental health declining. It was getting hard for me to do things of the norm like maintain relationships with people. It seemed like too much at the moment for someone who was struggling to find a meaning and purpose to go on about in life. Going from hanging out everyday and texting my best friend to then not even waving or coming up to one another in between classes. It hurt. It was more painful than a breakup I would say. Losing her made me lonely throughout the entirety of the school year. I wasn’t much of a talker. My routine would be to go to school, get through the day and once school was over go straight home.

Throughout High School was where I really felt anonymous seeing my classmates have their friend groups and make plans to hangout after school made me envy them. I understood It was my fault as to why my friendships fell apart. I just wished she understood how being in a bad mental state really takes a toll.