I once liked this boy. But it was the most painful type of liking I had.Iā€™ve been a hopeless romantic for as long as I can remember. Itā€™s probably the worst curse you can grow up with in this generation. I wanted a relationship with him because hook up culture wasnā€™t for me. I thought I could but the purpose felt empty. There was no meaning and I wasnā€™t looking to waste time. I felt happiness with him after a long time and I was so excited to see what the future holds. Once I brought up committing to him, he told me he has to think about it. I ended up having to call him. I begged him to stay in my life. It went from okay if not a relationship, to being my friend and a lot of crying. The last thing he said to me was ā€œ Goodbye Shagotaā€. It was so painful I got 3 jobs to keep my mind off of the pain. I started to set up goals for myself and watched myself focus on me. For the first time I picked myself. I started to find outĀ  more about myself and what I liked. I became self aware of my childhood traumas and that me being a hopeless romantic was 100% okay but me giving my time to the wrong people wasn’t. Even though no one was there for me, I had to be there for myself.Ā