In 2016, my cousin Sherry died from going into shock. No one saw it coming, and it rocked my dad’s family to their core. It was half a year after the funeral that I found out Sherry’s family had more to deal with aside from her passing. Her sister, Nicole, had multiple brain tumors, and there was nothing the doctors could do about them. My parents took us to Canada to support her and her parents. Growing up I saw my Canadian family maybe once every two years, so we never had a strong bond. But when we reached the house…I have never felt such sadness. Nicole’s tumors had eliminated her sight first, and then her hearing. She couldn’t even talk in sentences anymore. Her days were spent laying on the living room couch, with her mom and dad helping her drink her food and go to the bathroom. She couldn’t even be sure that it was her parents taking care of her, there was no way to know. The house was hollow, and all you could hear was Nicole struggling to breathe. Her parents barely spoke, and neither did we. We spent a few days helping with chores around the house and taking care of her. On the second or third day my parents took my sister and I out to eat some food. After we found a parking spot, I told them to go ahead, I’d come later. I sat in the car and cried for half an hour. I’d lost relatives before, but only when I was a child. I’d never seen someone so close to death before and witnessed what it did to their loved ones. We only spent three days there, and I had barely known Nicole. I couldn’t imagine the pain her close family was experiencing, much less what they were experiencing. She passed away in July of 2018. Until recently, I wasn’t sure what effect those three days had on me. Maybe they made me more empathetic? Maybe they made me stronger? Later, I realized that it made me appreciate being alive. I had never looked at myself and been happy to exist. To look at others and appreciate them for being who they are. Seeing Nicole planted that seed, although it wouldn’t germinate for a few years. Being exposed to that much pain also made me value happiness more. Since then, I’ve become a much more positive person. I try my best to uplift and encourage the people I love. Life is precious, and it should be treated as such. I never realized until writing this journal what effect Nicole had – and still has – on me. I’ll never forget her.