Purposely being unknown on the Internet

When I was a junior in high school I sort of felt lonely in a way where I couldn’t talk to other people about what was going on in my mind. I felt as if no one cared or my friends would feel uncomfortable if I would bring anything personal up. I still don’t talk much about my feelings or my thoughts to people, I think it’s just a natural thing I do. Anyways, during my junior year of high school, I wanted to express my feelings, so something I decided to do was make a Tumblr page because it was the first website that popped up in my head,  I never had an account and I always wanted one. So I made myself an account and I would customize my page. I didn’t really care if people would follow me, the account was more for myself. From what I can remember my first post went along the lines of “ Hi, this is my page to vocalize my emotions, without feeling weird about it”. It was more like a public journal, I would just post my day to day emotions and things that bothered me. Sometimes I would even post some memes to balance everything out.  I would gain some followers but mostly I would get people who would like to reblog my posts, which is cool because I took it as someone felt the same way as I did. I wasn’t concerned with the people in my life somehow finding out because it was anonymous and they don’t use Tumblr. I continued to post on there until a year later, so by the start of senior year. I didn’t feel the necessity to post anymore and felt better emotionally. I posted my last post saying “Okay, bye!” and I chose that because by that point I wasn’t invested in it. About a year ago I’ve decided to delete the account for closure and because I found it cringy looking back at it.

As of right now, I think I’m in a better place mentally. I am somewhat more open to my friends and would definitely feel better if we weren’t in a pandemic. Anyways, when you’re in high school you are told that junior year is the hardest, and to that, I one hundred percent agree because there was a lot going on for me mentally that drove me to eventually making the page. Junior year was difficult because I was trying to get my grades up, I felt pressured to find what to do with my career and where to go to college. I’m glad that I understand myself more and know what to pursue.