All my life growing up Ive been taught different things. How i should act and dress in public or to change into something “appropriate” if any other man is coming over. Been told to not ask so many questions and have the words i say be invalidated cause I’m “girl so I won’t get it”. All I could do was finish my school work and do whatever chores. But it wasn’t until the middle of high school I learned that this was wrong. That I as a woman should not conform to men or society’s expectations , yet I still feel forced to. I’m stuck in between the two worlds of wanting to be me and express myself v.s. being what men perceive me as.
After moving back to New York for about a year i was finally starting my first year of high school. One morning i was about to leave the house with leggings on cause i had a physical education class and you’re not allowed to wear regular pants. But as I was about to walk out the door my brother says “Hey! thats what you’re wearing!?!” So i said nonchalantly “yes I have gym today” not really putting much thought into it. He then made me go back inside and change into “something better” so i just chose a pair of black loose sweat pants. “See if you had wore those tight up leggings, you would’ve got too much attention.” At the time i was only 14 so I obviously wasn’t wearing them for the reason he was insinuating. Once I finished changing i left for school but by the time i got there i was already late. And because i lived so close to school i was rarely late so my teacher asked me what happened and my response was that “I woke up late.” that way I wouldn’t embarrass myself more. For the rest of the day I was left wondering what he meant by “too much attention”.
(Sorry professor I forgot I had to repost it again)
