“Women have to be bitches to get what they want. If not they will be taken for granted.”
I was looking at my options in what I can do with my life, and one of them was joining the air force. He was telling me how one of his son’s wife is in the army and to be in the position she was in she had to be a “bitch” to get there. Meaning, she had to work 10x harder than anyone else in her team. Now some women might take this quote in offense. But I understood it as my uncle just being brutally honest with me. As women we do have to work harder, and we have to always prove ourselves. Even getting a college degree as a women is a great accomplishment because we often get pregnant before we can finish college. Being kind and letting people step over you will only set you back. You have to be an asshole to get where you want to be in life.
Nonetheless, being a “bitch” doesn’t mean being a mean person. It mean’s standing your ground. Never ask for something, you have to demand for it. When you walk into an interview demand for the salary you’re worth and never take anything less. You don’t deal with nonsense and you’re focused on your success always. I’m glad my uncle told me this because I will always live by it. It doesn’t just apply to school but to life in general. It’s reality, women have to work harder than men. And that’s just the life that was picked for us. But that’s why we’re so much stronger and can endure so much.
Wow Shantal! This is really interesting.
Now: get your uncle up front — don’t make the reader wait to see who said these words to you. You write: He was telling me (WHO?)
You: I was looking at my options in what I can do with my life, and one of them was joining the air force (give some background details here — were you failing school and thinking of opting out — Had you just come home from a meeting with an army recruiter at school? set the scene! Remember you are to create a scene (think of how MX describe the night guards and how he dodged them — let your reader be at the scene when these words were said to you). Then, show me your undle having this talk with you. Create the scene. Where were you? Why was he there saying this to you?
I like this: Now some women might take this quote in offense. But I understood it as my uncle just being brutally honest with me.
So what have you personally seen in your friends, your family women — have you seen close at hand a woman-friend’s life changed bc she got pregnant? Was this YOUR case?
You: You have to be an asshole (Can you find an equally effective but less offensive way to say this. Put a positive spin on the word as*****.
Your second paragraph is too much generalizing. Have you had a job where you had to work ten times harder? Then SHOW me a scene that shows this. Show your life and how your life has been changed by your uncle’s harsh but true words.
This could be a good start, but you need to write with concrete details of the WHO< WHEN, WHY WHERE HOW fo the scene when your uncle said these words.