During middle school, I faced bullying from this racist kid. So in 8th grade, my class got a new transfer student. At first he was a pretty chill kid, everyone got to know him. Couple weeks later him and I got to become friends for a bit, but it soon came to an end. As I said how people mistaken me for being middle eastern even though I’m not. This new kid had a grudge against me cause he kept accusing me of being Paki and he was Indian. Apparently Indians don’t like Pakistani people due to conflicts back then with the 2 countries. I tried telling him I wasn’t but to no avail. I guess teenagers in middle school are so stuck up for some reason. He started to spread false rumors in my class about stupid things about me. Every time I’m minding my own business he would try to make fun of me for no reason just to get others to like him.
This has been going on for months. I told my parents about it but they didn’t feel the need to come to my school and talk to the school staff about it. I couldn’t even tell the teachers either because I thought my class will hate me for it. Until one day, after school he tried to pick a fight with me. I gave in because I was so fed up and filled with anger I didn’t want to put up with his behavior towards me. My classmates was there too instigating everything. So we went to a park nearby and we started getting physical. Long story short I won the fight but I didn’t feel satisfaction at the end but just sad for the kid and guilty somehow. After that he just left me alone and we ignored each other till the end of the school year. Every time I look back at what happened to me in middle school, I just don’t tolerate bullying and It made my whole perspective in life different.
Ahsan, WOW, you have chosen a good piece of your school story from your memories — This is very interesting and it could be the beginning of a good narrative essay! Try to turn this episode of being bullied is a HUGE episode in your educational life and a struggle that taught you something you can apply to all parts of your education and life..
Now can you create a few descriptive scenes. Try to SHOW me instead of just telling me. SO —
During middle school, I faced bullying from this racist kid. So in 8th grade, my class got a new transfer student. At first he {NAME} was a pretty chill kid, everyone got to know him. Couple weeks later him and I got to become friends for a bit, but it soon came to an end. As I said how people mistaken me for being middle eastern even though I’m not. This new kid had a grudge against me cause he kept accusing me of being Paki and he was Indian. [SHOW ME WHAT he said and HOW you replied. Give some dialogue/conversation of insults?] Apparently Indians don’t like Pakistani people due to conflicts back then with the 2 countries. I tried telling him I wasn’t but to no avail [WHAT were your exact words?] I guess teenagers in middle school are so stuck up for some reason.
[new par for new topic] He started to spread false rumors in my class about stupid things about me. Every time I’m minding my own business he would try to make fun of me for no reason just to get others to like him. [OK GOOD but now WHAT “false rumors”? SHOW me WHAT he said and HOW he “spread” these ideas to the other students. MAKE IT LIVELY – MAKE YOUR WRITING COME ALIVE]
This has been going on for months. I told my parents about it but they didn’t feel the need to come to my school and talk to the school staff about it. I couldn’t even tell the teachers either because I thought my class will hate me for it. Until one day, after school he tried to pick a fight with me {GREAT place to put in a scene of this fight in the park — SHOW with DESCRIPTION]. I gave in because I was so fed up and filled with anger I didn’t want to put up with his behavior towards me. My classmates was there too instigating everything. So we went to a park nearby and we started getting physical. [NOTICE that you are only telling me – instead SHOW ME. THINK — like Malcolm X created a scene of himself learning to read while the prison guards kept night watch.]
[mew par]. Long story short I won the fight but I didn’t feel satisfaction at the end but just sad for the kid and guilty somehow. After that he just left me alone and we ignored each other till the end of the school year. Every time I look back at what happened to me in middle school, I just don’t tolerate bullying and It made my whole perspective in life different. [WHICH is WHAT new perspective?]
NOTICE – paragraph breaks for new topic or new speaker in a dialogue.