(i) Interest – I took an interest in science, which led to an interest in nursing
(ii) Quarantine – Being home and doing online learning during quarantine. It took a toll on my approach to education.
(iii) Program & Job – During my junior high school I took part in a program that gave me insight and hands-on experience of what a career in nursing would be like.
The sound of the kids transitioning classes filled the fifth floor. I walked into the class and sat in the back of the class. I was surprised to see the amount of unfamiliar faces that filled the classroom. our instructor walked, into the classroom, Ms. Barclay was a confident woman, who had a presence & an appearance that fit her, she was on the thicker side, and had a thick Jamaican accent. At the beginning of the class, she had us introduce ourselves. She then gave us a walk-through of what the program duration would consist of. being that it was the first day of class she instructed us to find partners and be ready to take notes.
A girl chose me to be her partner, we spoke and sat next to each other. ms. Barclay put up the first slide, and we began to take notes, once we finished she handed out a worksheet with discussion questions. The classroom was filled with conversation. the girl I was partnered with introduced herself formally and so did I . We shared a conversation about our hobbies, why we chose nursing as a career, etc.
Ms., Barclay handed out a second worksheet that instructed us to list the specific fields in nursing we would like to pursue. I knew I would love to pursue a career in neonatal nursing, but also expressed an interest in emer or med-surg. I finished the worksheets she passed out, which was relatively easy, the research part of the assignment was the best, it gave me a template of information on neonatal.
After collecting our papers and looking at them. Ms.Barclay dismissed the class, and I proceeded to make my way out of class. then, she stopped me and asked to talk after class after some time in summary she stated how in a short period she had taken a great liking to me, which made me feel appreciated.
OK this is good start! You are a good writer!
WHAT science class was this? You mentioned you had an interest in science — was this biology class in your first intro scene? ADD more CSD concrete specific details — WHEN WHERE was this — junior year in high school? WHAT high school? It seems very specficially directed toward medical field — so was this a high school that specialized in medical field careers? CSD concrete specific details! SHOW me: worksheet with discussion questions. [can you put the questions into dialogue format?] The classroom was filled with conversation. [SHOW me these voices]
NOW WHAT WILL BE THE NEXT EVENTS that move your story forward? You write about quarantine — Is that a scene in your mind? Does that move your story forward? HOW does the quarnatine period fit into this story about discovering your interest in nursing?
AND NOW — can you move away from telling and — Can you SHOW ME — can you dramatize one of your events? Create some Theatre of the Mind for your reader by creating a scene with dialogue.
You sparked me curiosity about this program. but you need to now SHOW me with good CSD — WHAT was it called? Take me to that program you participated in and SHOW ME! WHERE did the program happen? SHOW me the “hands-on experience” activities you did. TAKE me to the time you took a patient’s blood pressure (for example) — WHAT did the patient’s arm look like? WHAT did you do with the arm band? OR BETTER YET — Take me to that day a patient fainted and you were right there at his side and you took action! WHAT “hands-on” activities made an impression on your mind and told you “Hey this is what I want to do!” IDK — but you do, so SHOW ME!