The time I had to live in two worlds was when I was in middle school in African. I had spent time with my friends, family. We share lot in common even though we were from different religious. These religions were the Christianity, Islamic, traditional. They speak different languages and celebrate different holidays. Their food was different too. When I attended middle school for the first time, altogether was Christianity, Islamic, and tradition. I thought it was going to be only Christians. In the school, there was a place the Islamic go every Fridays they called it mosques which is their church. The Christians go to church on Saturdays and Sundays. It looks like the traditional also to church on Saturday and Sundays, but the traditional religion has it people which in African they dress differently.
One Sunday afternoon there were these kids wearing white dress. I ask one of the kids where they were going and she said, ” we are going to church, wait are you not a Christian”. At that time, I was very confused. I want back in to wear my dress. When the church was over. I came back. This made me feel like am in a new world. The school world was different because of the way others dress, eat. And we didn’t have any school culture because of the religions there. But we used to celebrate they called it ” Gift Day ” which you buy a gift for someone close to you. It was fun. This made me make lot of friends.
BIG PROBLEM: What you write here DOES NOT address the writing prompt. WHAT ARE THE TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS YOU MOVE BETWEEN?
GO BACK and read the Announcement where HW6 is announced. Read the Writing Prompt CAREFULLY. Read Between Two Worlds post by Student Amadou that I posted as an example.
Faustina: You must be careful. You are copying a lot of ideas from Student Amadou. I realize that you see similarities with his story. HOWEVER, you have to have your own story. You do not have to focus on religious differences, like he does unless this is really really part of your story.
You need to ADD more details: What was your religion — was it Christian? Islam? You need to tell me!
What was your school world like? What was your school culture? You write as if the main difference was religion — really — waht about language and food [Amadou wrote about the religious difference of his school culture, but he also gave a lively scene where the American students were bullying him for being African “booty scratcher.” Was this the main scene or event or memory that made you feel that you were different from the school culture? What made this world feel like you were out of place? Dig into your memory to find the best scene of you feeling like you didn’t fit in with the school culture. THen show me time, place, describe the place of this memory and what they said and what you said.
Work on finding a place to create a SCENE WITH DIALOGUE.
I update it can you please check.
I update it can you please check it.
Faustina: Much Better! I can see that you are trying to show me TWO worlds. Now there are still some parts that are not clear to me as your reader.
Were the Two Worlds your school world and your home world?
What is your religion? You don’t make that clear.
Were the Two Worlds Your Islamic World / or Christian World at home (which are you?) and the Christian World at school?
And you need to read your writing aloud to yourself and proofread carefully. Here is one sentence that does not make sense: It looks like the traditional also to church on Saturday and Sundays, but the traditional religion has it people which in African they dress differently.