“I’m not going to be proud of you until you graduate college and show me your degree”
Those are the words my mother told me on my high school graduation. Those words will forever sick to me and motivate me to do my best and keep pushing even when I think I cannot do it anymore. Proving to my mom that I can graduate with my Batchlers degree and prove to her I am not like my older sister, and I can do anything I put my mind on.
I know those words my mom told me weren’t to unmotivate me, but to keep me pushing to do my best. My mom has not always known how to show affection, she was raised in Mexico. She was shown that showing affection shows you are weak. Ever sins I was smaller I always wanted to prove to my mother that I can do anything I put my mind on and make her prod of me; I know her being hard on me and my siblings was her way of showing that she cares about are education even if sometimes It did not feel like it. My mom has always shown me to keep pushing and never giving up even when I believe I cannot.
You do a lot of telling me, instead SHOW me by creating scenes and dialogue.
SHOW me that graduation day. DESCRIBE IT: Where was the graduation? Was it outdoors? Was your mom saying this to you after the ceremony? At family lunch to celebrate? How did you answer her?
Why do you not want to be like yoursister? Give details.
THere doesn’t seem to be any order to the things you write here. It seems like a random set of thoughts. LOOK TO THE READINGS WE HAVE BEEN DOING. Make your writing active and come alive. Look at the scene with Malcolm X dodging the night guards. Create your own scene. Maybe yo missed all those discussions. Yocelin, there are consequences to missing so much class time. We talked about Reading Like A Writer and how to learn from the writers we have studied.
Look and comment on two students posts. THis will give you an idea what your writing needs to look like. I urge you to go to tutoring now. If you intend to remain in this class, you have a lot of work to do and the tutors can help. You need to take some serious measures NOW.
Many misspelled words.