After doing project#4, I came to an understanding of this project the point of this was to get a the writer to understand the feeling of the setting. As a writer one must understand how to write a description. As a writer one must come to an understanding of their point and force. According to my essay in the pitch as I stated “Brooklyn if you walk around the neighborhood, you’ll encounter many lovely places. However, the question is what influences people to choose the path they decision to walk on? Many ideas come to a person’s mind when choosing a path, it can come from using your five senses. If you walk in the streets of Brooklyn you’ll get to see areas full of crowd people and as well as lonely places. I understand the people who choose to walk in crowded places, there you’ll see a lot of commercial areas toward the nearest subway. You get to see buildings toward being able to smell different kinds of food. However, there are people who walk in lonely areas. The feeling of stress that puts people to walk along lonely areas. The sign of freedom that makes people enjoy of being lonely or being with someone to just talk alone with.” I felt like it was a good introduce for the essay. I described what my topic of my essay was going to be about however, as Hai Lin commented I should have started stronger. In my body paragraphs an example, ” If Korean War Veterans Plaza isn’t the place to hang around people can find lonely areas ahead. There are more areas that people can enjoy, while walking people can continue there path though walking towards Clinton and Pierreport Street. From Pierreport street taking a right to Hicks street. In the area people will see varieties street that are lonely there, people can just walk in the area and look at the old buildings. The you can see the amazing architecture. People can walk around freely without bumping to someone anyone can almost feel that they own the street however there might be two or three people in the surrounding. While looking around the area, the people who enjoy architecture might draw sketches or take pictures that will help them better the area for the future or keep it the same for their projects.” I wanted to stay force of lonely however, I just describe the place instead of force why it feel and how the surrounding is. Same goes with my other essay, I start to force on other and not my point my essay however, I feel like I did in my second essay.
