Category: Unit 1 Final Paper (Page 5 of 10)

Hasani Wright 

Prof. Carrie Hall

1121

2 March, 2021

“Because I said so” by Hasani Wright 

In my personal opinion understanding and communicating with any child is imperative, regardless of age. The more you do so the easier it is for the child to understand the adults way of thinking (and reading) and the less likely it is for them to retaliate and rebel. In doing so you are also creating a safe space for your child, while also allowing them to grow and understand the gravity of situations whether big or small. 

Growing up I wasn’t given this leisure, and at the time was treated ironically as a “child”. Adults never really made it a point to explain their reasonings.

Even at my age now I can still recall specific conversations and interactions from my childhood;  and because I am now 18 I look back at these discussions with a new and developed way of thinking. As a child I can remember my parents asking me to do numerous things and while most of these tasks were simple in how taxing they were, a lot of the time I felt as though they were unnecessarily asked of me. Due to the fact that I was outspoken and felt comfortable enough with my parents to voice my thoughts the majority of the time, I remember always asking “why” or “why me”. Of course i would always be hit with the same answer, which was  “Because i said so”. I can recall a conversation I had with my mom one time when I was about the age of 8 or 9, during the summer in virginia. Though I couldn’t tell you what time of the day it was, I know it was late due to the fact that the street lights were on. Completely distracted and engulfed in the fun I was having with my friends at the time, I was completely caught off guard when my mom came down the driveway and told me it was time to come inside. I was distraught of course, not only because I was the first kid on the block who had to go home, but also because at times I didn’t understand the importance of not staying out after dark. I then remember going into the house and trying to convince my mom to let me stay out because the other kids were, and asking why i had to come in if no one else did. She of course hit me with her infamous saying, “Because i said so”. Now because i’m older and have a better understanding of the world, I know it was her way of keeping me safe and out of danger. However at the time i wasn’t exactly sure why my mom was being so unfair, more so because the phrase “I said so” doesn’t really tell an 8 year old that you’re doing so for their safety. According to psychologists  “Even when it may be uttered out of frustration or exasperation, the “Because I Say So!” response pushes an authoritarian parenting style – not only does this fray our relationship with our kids, but could result in our kids ending up being fearful and anxious, less self-confident, and poor communicators”[1].

This only continued of course, not just at home but at school too. Opposed to my parents who would usually use these phrases because they were tired and didn’t feel the need to explain themselves, now looking back at it my school usually used it as a tactic for authority. “Because I said so” was used due to the fact that it was their law, and because they were my teachers l had to do what they say. There was never really explanation, and at the time no apparent rhyme or reason. Needless to say, that particular phrase did more harm than good in my development. From my personal experience at this age, i believe that giving a child a reason opposed to just saying “Because i said so” will help their communication skills, responsiveness, and overall character. This is important to me because i feel as though if the adults around me explained themselves then it would’ve helped me to understand the gravity of situations and not look at their authority as law. If they had made time to talk to me and explain to me the small things it would’ve made communication easier and increased my self confidence at that age. As an adult you may not feel as though you should explain yourself however in doing so “the fact that you are making an effort to explain is a sign of high responsiveness and nurturing and conveys unconditional love to your kids. It implicitly shows them that you aren’t too busy to have a conversation with them and that they are worthy” [2]. I believe that it also could have taught me the meaning of respect, if it was made a point to talk to me and to exchange respect then it most likely would’ve gotten a more positive response out of me than what actually occurred.

In conclusion the phrase “Because i said so” has had a very powerful impact on my childhood and is a phrase that i can remember being said majority of it. It affected my communication skills when it came to my parents and overall adult authority as I felt as though their law was repeatedly enforced with no real reason but more so because they had the power necessary. However better tactics for communicating with children would be to practice patience, respect, and to take your time educating them in order to ensure the proper growth.

(I specifically chose to write my paper in a more informal way due to the fact that i believe this is the type of text a parent would actually listen to and take advice from).

Work cited:

[1] (Jennifer Poindexter, Aspiring writer, “What’s Wrong With “Because, I Say So” and How to Replace”, 2016)

https://afineparent.com/positive-parenting-faq/stop-authoritarian-parenting.html

[2] (Katie E. Lawrence, Author, “Please stop saying because i said so”, June 29, 2020)

https://medium.com/age-of-awareness/please-stop-saying-because-i-said-so-7de77e8e8b78 

At a young age, I experienced torment through bully. From name calling to getting beaten down, this is how I symbolically became a revenant. At my current age of nineteen, I don’t know much about living or how to be happy and successful at life. But what I do know is what promotes the reason for anyone to live: discovering your niche(s). After suffering from frequent antagonism at school, I obliviously lost sight of who I was, how to enjoy life and what I could do about it. I was in pain and it killed me. I left one world, but with a purpose of entering the other as a stronger version. I transitioned by walking through that gym door, stepping onto the mat, stood tall with my feet together, arms crossed and said the one word that would begin anew. It symbolizes the niche that rebirthed me, changing my existence forever: Osu!

In order to have a better understanding of my discourse community word, one must understand its origins and meaning. The genesis and meaning of the Japanese word osu (pronounced oss) is complicated to grasp due to many theories and opinions. Therefore, it is misunderstood by most people. Even most Japanese people misuse it. How it originated is disputed. One of the popular possibilities of the terms origins is it was first used in the Japanese imperial navy. Another possibility is the term originated from the martial art known as kyokushin. In kyokushin, two popular kanjis (Japanese system of writing) are used. One is the word ‘osu’ which translates to push. The other kanji is ‘shinobu’ which translates to suffer. When joined together, it translates to ‘osu no seinshin’, meaning to endure while being pushed, an important fundamental in kyokushin or any combat sport one practices.

Osu is generally a word describing masculinity and hard work ethnic within Japanese custom. Japanese culture is considered strict. Therefore, one should not say it to someone of Japanese descent, one who is younger than you, or in a lower tier. Because it is, as stated, a masculine word to use, women should not use it. In reality, this is almost never the case. Osu is considered a way to greet each other today. In Japan, people may use osu as a way to say good morning. In American gyms, this is applied as a common form of respect. It’s how trainers and practitioners say “hello”, “goodbye”, “how do you do this technique?”, “understood”, “let’s go hard”, “thanks” and et cetera by both genders and people of all ranks and ages.

From my experience, most American gyms use osu as a way to greet each other, asking questions and answering them. My gym is no different. Those who have been going to my gym for a long period of time grow an attachment to the word. Because we know and train with each other, saying ‘osu’ to one another feels like a ‘family members only’ ticket. We say it with pride knowing we will make each other stronger. When I’m with a friend that I train with or has combat sports knowledge, whether on the gym or on the street, I sometimes substitute a ‘hey’ or a ‘wassup’ for osu. It is the pride and respect of friends that enjoy or train in combat sports that makes me use it as a ‘hello’ or a ‘goodbye’.

Now that you know more of the meaning of osu, you will understand better of what osu means to me personally. If you know me or read some of my previous articles from English 1101, you know I have discussed this before. Middle school was absolute torture. I was the easiest to attack because I lacked the ability to fight back as well as the temerity to stand up for myself. That was until the nature of osu rebirthed me into the formidable fighter I am today. I began watching combat sports and I wanted to learn how to fight like a professional. My father put in a gym get real training. Once I uttered the word ‘osu’, my fate was sealed. Indeed I lived up to meaning of pushing and enduring, for no longer would I be a easy target. No longer would I feel defenseless. No longer would I be a pariah. When you get on the matt, put your feet together, cross your arms and say osu, not only would it signal the start of training, but the start of a new passion. A passion that grew stronger. A passion that fostered into what helps me earn respect regardless if one is friend or foe. For me, osu means to experience a catharsis of weakness and be rejuvenated through strength, resilience, and redemption. A low moment transformed into a permanent lifestyle. When I think of osu, it will always be evidence that pain and misery that I endured from bullying can be replaced by achievement. As beneficial as it is, I have also experienced the consequences it can hold, so it is to be taken with a grain salt.

Power feels amazing. It is addictive, satisfying and emotionally liberating. But, if used incorrectly, it can also backfire. People who have been hurt are prone to turning that pain into hatred thus it leads to retribution. Sometimes without realizing. I experienced this two years ago. In 12th grade, I started targeting a boy in my gym class. Previously in 10th grade, he attacked me and made me a laughing stock. This made me train harder so I could prevent this from happening ever again. Fasting forward, I see opportunity to settle the score, and without realizing, I was unintentionally hurting this person in the locker room with no witnesses, giving him visible injuries. The injuries I gave him lead to me getting into trouble, but I felt more bad about my actions because I don’t condone unprovoked violence. I learned from this egregious act an important lesson: respect through fear is frivolous.

The nature of osu contains philosophical meaning. A meaning and importance that I would love to share because it can be adapted to benefit anyone’s regular lifestyle, not just fighters. The specific audience I want to introduce osu to are people who feel weak and helpless. Similar to how I was. ‘Osu’ means to push and endure, which is the natural structure of how life is for successful individuals. It’s how we elevate ourselves like I did. As someone who has felt weak and helpless for a long period of time, I can concur that being introduced to an osu-like environment will replace weakness with many strengths such as endurance and pushing forward. In fact, you don’t have to be introduced to this philosophy through combat sports only but by other means.

One example, film. One of the best movies that represents the meaning of osu is Rocky Balboa. In the film Rocky gives some of the best life advice ever: “You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” The philosophy of osu will empower anyone. Your toughness, courageousness and self respect will rise along others respecting you. Fear and people attempting to attack you will also plummet. The audience exposed to osu must also manage the philosophy of osu with responsibility. It is possible to take that philosophy and use it as way to hurt others and eventually yourself. My advice is to use the philosophy of osu for personal strength and self-defense while also practicing forgiveness rather than nefarious activities. Vengeance is an expensive luxury. Do not pay the price for it.