- Revising my thesis where my topic is a problem that way there’s a solution.
- Taking the comments from Professor Hall and utilizing them to write better content
- Using my own “voice” I am trying to answer the question of what am I trying to say?
- Keeping in mind what the point of the piece is and my goals intact.
Category: Unit 1 Final Paper (Page 2 of 10)
- I will revise my entire final paper by reorganizing my sentences and changing them to be clear and concise in order to make them more understandable and avoid confusion.
I will change my introduction to grab the audience’s attention and make it more logical by putting one or two sentences that go with starting the paper as the first sentences in the introduction.
- Remove any details that do not explain my discourse community word, faith such as anything personal that should not be shared or anything that has nothing to do with the word.
Ways to revise
- Eliminate the introduction and use the first body paragraph as the intro because it introduces the word “loca/o” better and the intro I have now.
- In this new intro, I will add a missing piece that I included in the rest of the text which is that the word can be used in a disrespectful way to others.
- Before wrapping up my writing I will elaborate more on the idea of how the word “loca/o” can be disrespectful to older people.
- I might change up the title for something different because I want it to get the attention of the reader better than the original one
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