HW for Thru 4/22

For my unit one assignment I wrote about the phrase “and scene……” and while I was writing this paper I felt like I was writing unnecessary stuff.  And the funny thing is that while I was writing, I got carried away by telling stories about my friends that I wasn’t even talking about when the phrase was used between us. 

1. Now that I’m revisiting my paper, I want to change the title I chose with something not so cringy. Something more casual that reflects about my friendship and the phrase. 
2. I want to rewrite my introduction because now that I am rereading it, it is very boring and it doesn’t really fit into the rest of the essay. I started the essay talking about movies so now that i got more experience with writing I want to take that out. 
3. Mid way through the essay, I’ll probably add another time that I and the discourse community used the phrase, just to make the point of my essay stronger. And for the reader to better understand how the phrase brings my friends and I closer. 
4. I think that I may have rushed my conclusion, it was short and I basically just wrapped up the essay by rephrasing the intro and  calling it a conclusion.