Introduction

This project has helped me realize that I have to step up my mentally game. I couldn’t find a way to write this essay so I wrote it almost story like. I wrote this essay as though I am in the future writing to my past self a letter of improvement and the outcome of that improvement. As well as comforting myself and my current thinking ways because if all I get is a scolding I will get upset and that’s not what this letter is trying to do. I got a chance to be creative about my current self and how I want to be in the future. To do this I had to collect my thoughts for a whole day and write it out in a paragraph. After that I had to visually see these thoughts so we had to take pictures of these patterns that we noticed. After that it came out to be the letter to myself from myself.

Thinking in Writing

I’m reviewing my notes on my thoughts and one of the patterns I noticed is I’m always planning for the future. Since young I always had to do a list for the day in my mind. I like to know where I’m at and what’s left to do until I have accomplished my goal and how will I accomplish my task for the day. This includes my education and everyday life. It became a habit to think ahead the night before I go to sleep or from the moment I wake up. The next pattern of my thoughts is self-reflecting. I have to it is a must for me to self-reflect on my day. I wrote in my notes that during a class my mind wandered off to what impression I left on people I just met and whether it was a decent or horrible one. Last but not least are thoughts on my family. I always think about them no matter where I go. In my notes I wrote about how I look at an item and wonder who else in my family would benefit or like this item that is in my possession or within my eyesight view. Also how my future actions affects my family. For example I want to get a job and what is most likely to happen is me giving my paycheck to my mom who handles most of our money so she will know what to do with it. Another example is my sister in three years, if she decides to go to college, my notes might come in handy to her so I can keep them for her. I would like to think more of funny and less serious thoughts. I do have thoughts like these but they don’t last long enough for me to enjoy them. “Blank” thoughts do happen often and its a neutral feeling I have towards these moments. I would like to think more of politics and how to be less reserved.

Thinking Visually

Political picture URL

• https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7597/16642818429_372a042937_m.jpg

This picture represents (to me) the whole political word. This picture represents my thinking because I have my own opinion about laws but I don’t have a lot of knowledge on the perspective of the general public for its laws.  

Family Picture URL

• https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7284/16642909919_49c5be1939_m.jpg

I tend to think a lot about my family wherever I go and when i go shopping I look at the sale the store is having that day. So a family dollar logo is a perfect picture to show buying for your family and saving at the same time.

Thoughts in General Picture URL

• https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8636/16803176416_7a56b48f63_m.jpg

What I mean when I say “thoughts in general” I mean thoughts that everyone has and thoughts that only I have. For example, in my thoughts I thought “how does our body uses the bathroom” or “do I really want to follow this career?”. I really liked this picture so I wanted it to represent random and common.

Map Picture URL

• https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8663/16827962762_8665d45704_m.jpg

My father whenever I graduated he would hug me and tell me, in Spanish, “daughter, you have made me proud. Not only that you have also completed one more lap until you have reach your career.” My father has implanted in my brain to picture my life as a race, and every time I have accomplished something to do with my future career or life, to see it as a lap until I have reached my destination, thus I think of a map when I have thoughts on my accomplishments.   

Reflection Picture URL

• https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7283/16829069385_8945d478f1_m.jpg

This picture is suppose to represent self-reflection. I personally don’t like taking a picture of myself so I took a picture of the reflection of a building. I took it before I went to English class, next to my bus station.  

Creative Picture URL  

• https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7643/16827975762_2087a9fcbc_m.jpg

This picture is to represent my creative side of my brain. I really like colors and when something catches my interest I like to analyze it but not too deeply that it becomes no longer fun to look at.

Thinking Reflectively

Dear past me,

    In five years, I am still pursuing my doctoral degree. I am determined to have a associate degree as a Chemical Technician and have a part-time job as a cashier in a clothing store. I drink until I drop with no worries for age identification. I can proudly say I am an independent adult, even though I am still living with my parents (or living in a dormitory or my own apartment, it is up to you past self to picture where I can be standing). However, a life changing note-to-self factor to you past self is to start change my thinking to include the world around me and to stop reserving myself. The way old Michelle is thinking is not wrong but if you continue to be fine with your current thinking, that only my own thoughts matter, I will not be able to grow mentally and live the life I am currently living.

First, I have to become less reserved. Not only that I have to stop bringing myself down. In my thought log, of five years ago I wrote about how I always think about my family. Thinking about my family is good but I let myself make them an excuse for me to reserve myself. I go to them for any matter. The same way I go to my family I can also go to friends and talk to them, that is what friends are for. They might find some things silly and I might get embarrassed but it is fine to feel that way, it is part of life. Nobody is perfect unless you are god but I am not. Next, I have to loosen up a bit. You are 18 now it is ok to go crazy, with moderation, every now and then. I have to live now and not in the future or else I will become another workaholic. Becoming less reserved has opened new doors to me. I can communicate to different people with different perspective. The skeleton can be you with the coat as the world if only you can take the first steps to becoming less reserve. Plus your family is not going anywhere; they will cheer you up when you come home with a disappointed face.

Second, I must start to become more knowledgeable on politics. To do this you have to change my current habits. When you hear about a new law that has been passed you do become curious and ask those that are close to me what is this new law and what do they think. This is where the problem begins. If nobody knows what I am talking about I drop the topic and never bother to do further research on it. I also only ask my family their opinion. Then I have cases where I try to make a point but I do not stand my ground. To fix these problems I have to get into the habit of researching. Researching not only politics but other things as well. After this I need to get others opinions. This is where a new door has opened past self. Now that I have become less reserved I can converse with people who are sitting close by me and stand my ground on what I say if you do research on topics that interest you. Also as we wrote in the description for the creative picture if we analyze anything to into detail we lose interest and that is no good for us. Another thing is it is fine to be average on politics because it can be an easy brush off but only when we get to an average knowledge on politics.

Last but not least, is to keep thinking the way we do. If we change too much we could close doors we do not want to be closing. A new implant is what we really needed and eventually everything will fall into place. Love your family but do not make them an excuse. Become more curious about the world around you and know more about what is it that makes your curiosity stir. Continue to map out your goals and pursuing them. Also do not forget to motivate yourself by loosening up and not to stress over small stuff. Best of luck to you past me.

1. Introduction

From noting the down all the activities we thought of the whole day to taking pictures of those thoughts and transferring everything into a single essay. This activity made me realize what I am doing, thinking of the most, and what should I concentrate on the most to get what I want. Every step made me realize something, such as I don’t spend much of my time with my family and that’s one of the things I wanted to concentrate on the most. It made my future goals even more clear. In the following project I have divided into three sections. First is the part where I wrote down all of my thoughts, second is where I transformed those thoughts into pictures and captured them, and last but not least is the essay.

2. Thinking In Writing 
As I looked down on my thoughts that I wrote for my day I noticed most of them were related to my career. Where I am standing at the moment?; What do I have to do to be successful?; And what path do I have to take in order for me to achieve what I want. It’s the ambition I have towards my education and to achieve a successful career is what keeps me going. Education has become my first priority, which was the reason why I joined Per Scholas to get my A+ and Net+ Certifications. Throughout my day I basically thought about my classes at City Tech and Per Scholas and how I have to manage my time so I don’t get left behind in anything. But while thinking about that I also felt I was under a lot of stress trying to manage the timings and classes in both places. Here and there while I took breaks I just thought about my family and my country, Pakistan. How much I missed the times there with my cousins and days full of laughter. While thinking about that I realized and thought how easy life was in my high school years with no worries about anything. I just had to worry about my homework’s and tests, or what places to hang out with my friends after school. I spent most of my time worrying and thinking about all my classes and tests, and what I needed to complete and do (Including all my assignments). No matter how much I tried to distract myself by listening to music or watching random videos to relax my mind, I always ended up thinking about my studies. It has become the center of my thoughts and maybe it always will be until I have something in my hands.

3. Thinking Visually
-This picture shows how I’m always concentrated on my education and how it is a first priority for me now since my ambition to achieve what I want.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1395909747385896&set=ms.c.eJw9zNENwDAIA9GNKuMAxvsvllaN8vt0ulguw0qtqXE~%3BcQCJYrUu8Ie6IChMniLS~_cIocKB7vinBDSMWFLI~-.bps.a.1395909647385906.1073741827.100009006525265&type=1&theater

– Per Scholas- A place where I’m taking my first step towards a successful career and learning so much on what I can do.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1395909704052567&set=ms.c.eJw9zNENwDAIA9GNKuMAxvsvllaN8vt0ulguw0qtqXE~%3BcQCJYrUu8Ie6IChMniLS~_cIocKB7vinBDSMWFLI~-.bps.a.1395909647385906.1073741827.100009006525265&type=1&theater

– This was a wall where there many pictures posted of my family, it always reminded me of them and how much I missed being around them.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1395909724052565&set=ms.c.eJw9zNENwDAIA9GNKuMAxvsvllaN8vt0ulguw0qtqXE~%3BcQCJYrUu8Ie6IChMniLS~_cIocKB7vinBDSMWFLI~-.bps.a.1395909647385906.1073741827.100009006525265&type=1&theater

-Novels! Something that I want to spend more time on and what I think of doing but don’t get enough time. It was always a hobby and I would want to spend more time reading Jude Deveraux.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1395909770719227&set=ms.c.eJw9zNENwDAIA9GNKuMAxvsvllaN8vt0ulguw0qtqXE~%3BcQCJYrUu8Ie6IChMniLS~_cIocKB7vinBDSMWFLI~-.bps.a.1395909647385906.1073741827.100009006525265&type=1&theater

-I have always loved travelling and its what I would like to think about more and travel to new places. It gives me joy and I would want to visit new places.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1395914940718710&set=ms.c.eJw9zNENwDAIA9GNKuMAxvsvllaN8vt0ulguw0qtqXE~%3BcQCJYrUu8Ie6IChMniLS~_cIocKB7vinBDSMWFLI~-.bps.a.1395909647385906.1073741827.100009006525265&type=1&theater

-Since I barely get time to do anything, I would like to pamper myself and spend more time on myself.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1395916687385202&set=ms.c.eJw9zNENwDAIA9GNKuMAxvsvllaN8vt0ulguw0qtqXE~%3BcQCJYrUu8Ie6IChMniLS~_cIocKB7vinBDSMWFLI~-.bps.a.1395909647385906.1073741827.100009006525265&type=1&theater

4. Thinking Reflectively

Working in Deloitte for the past five years and moving from just an entry level technician to the position of help desk support specialist have finally made me satisfied with myself. As I sit in the Café of Deloitte, I remember the time when I was struggling with my classes at Per Scholas and City Tech, how I ran from one institute to another just to manage my classes. I never had time anymore for anything, not even myself back then because I was so concentrated towards my education and I was so career-orientated. Although I had to face so many struggles, now I think it was worth it. I do not think I would be sitting in the company I always wanted to work for the most if I had not done what I did five years back. Not only have I managed to start my career but I also did what I always wanted to do the most – make my parents proud. What seemed as a bitter trial back then is a blessing to me now. Life has offered me so much and I managed to accept and accomplish so much of it because of hard work. I would not want to be anywhere other than where I am now in my life, and of course Deloitte. Sipping on my coffee and sitting in the café makes me realize this is what I always wanted to do. How much joy I have gotten from accomplishing all this. How I built this firm foundation for myself with the bricks others have thrown at me I feel proud of myself.

I had to sacrifice a lot of stuff to get to this position and one of them was time with my family. Back then I was so caught up with my studies and my career that I barely got to spend any time with them. In the “Thinking Visually” part of this project I posted a picture that I took of the family photo wall and I remember how I used to look at it when I used to miss my family. They have supported me in every possible way they could and they also have helped me so much to reach to this point today. I regret giving them really little time because now sometimes it feels as if they’re so far away from me even though they’re right next to me. I had such a strong bond with my sisters but now we barely sit and talk. As you grow older and go towards your career you have more responsibilities, no one is going to do anything for you, you would have to do it yourself. I still miss them and now since I’m all settled in my job at Deloitte, I usually visit my mother and father in Brooklyn. I’m working on getting the bond back to where it was five years before. My family has done so much for me and I couldn’t love them any less. Not only did they support me financially but they have always encouraged me to go on further. Every memory I have made with them I still remember those moments and smile, they’re so precious to me and that’s what I will do now to make more memories with them.

Summer is on its way! Right now I just need to focus on my studies and my career. Everyone needs time off since it relaxes your brain but traveling at the moment would cause me a lot of problems. Of course you can travel on weekends to other states or other areas of New York where you would feel relaxed. Not only that but you can always travel in summers when you get time off of college. You wouldn’t have to worry about that you have to complete a project for Physics class or do a assignment for Math’s class. You would be free of worries and you would be able to relax you body and mind. While on vacation then you can pamper yourself as well since you never got time to do that because of your busy schedule. The Peru Palace in Virginia which offers the best back and hot oil hair massages, the Vanessa Nail Salon which gives you the best Pedicure and Manicure. All are waiting for you, but just get through this college semester first. Then you would have all the time you want to travel to any country you want and to do anything you want with your time.

Per Scholas – The first step to a successful career. I know its hard for you to manage your time at Per Scholas and at City Tech, but its worth it. If you get these A+ and Net+ certifications a lot of doors of opportunities would open up for you. You would be in the job market already making so much money and getting all the experience you need later on to get into your dream company – Deloitte. You create your own opportunities and if you don’t work hard for this one then its only going to b a great loss for you not anyone else. You’re capable of all this, this is nothing compared to all the struggles you have faced in your life already. With getting these certifications it would make your parents even more proud of you. Isn’t that what you always wanted? To make them happy and give them something in return for all the hard work they have done on you? Imagine the tears in your mothers eyes when she hears that you have passed and graduated Per Scholas, Imagine your dad giving you hugs and saying ” I’m proud to have a daughter like you.” You would have a job already in the career field you want to go to without even having a degree yet. “Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life–think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.” as said by Swami Vivekananda. This is what you need to do Ayesha, grip onto this goal and make the most out if it, it is only going to give you advantage and opportunities that any other person would probably get in their late twenties.

Life is not about finding yourself but it’s about creating yourself. The steps that I will take right now will be the result that I will have in the future. The only way to be successful is to put effort and hard work into it. Don’t let any opportunity to pass by just because you can’t handle the situation. If you have a busy schedule just like I do talk to your teachers and professors and they will always help you work it out. You have to use your time wisely and the priorities in your life such as your family always give them importance and time no matter what. Even if you sit down for half an hour with them it will make a huge difference. You wouldn’t have to regret later on in your life, because it’s not the days we remember later on but it’s the moments we have spent; Make them worth the while because the future isn’t guaranteed and these are the things that will always help you get through your struggles in your life. Remember “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” because that is how you will get through it and reach the place you want to go to.

Introduction
This is my “Writing my Brain” project. In my opinion the whole point of this project was to help us dive deep into our thoughts and think about our future. If that was the point then this project definitely did that. In this project I wrote about all the things I currently put too much attention to contrary to what I should be focused on. The next three categories are divided by a paragraph about my thoughts throughout a day, three images of what I was thinking throughout that day and three images of what I wish I was thinking about. Finally the last category is the base of my project which is the five page essay.

Thinking in Writing
The human mind is a crazy thing. To try to write down even just a couple thoughts I had throughout the day was almost impossible. You think of so many things in a day. It usually is set up by certain events. For example, as I was recording my thoughts I noticed a pattern where I would go from simple or deep thoughts to more annoying ones in a matter of seconds. As I’m walking, whether its to the train station or back home, my thoughts go towards the deep side since all I’m concentrated on is my surroundings and music. When I actually get home or I am on the train a lot of things seem to annoy me like train delays or my nephew smacking me awake every morning. Little things like that caused my thoughts to stray towards less deep thoughts to more simple ones. I did have a issue with the thoughts that I was having in the first place. As I recorded my thoughts I noticed one basic thought that never stopped coming back in line. Money. It’s all I thought about, second to none. I feel like that is a really bad thing. I was raised to see money as just defensive means in life. There are other things more important than money like family or God. I don’t want to sound like a complete jerk though, I of course thought of other things like my family and in the end of the day I want to make so much money so I can provide for my family which is why I am always thinking about it. I wish that I was thinking more about school because in most cases the best way to make money would be to finish school in the first place. I also had many thoughts about materialistic things like sneakers or clothes. I wish I could have thought more about getting my permit and license like I promised myself I would. One more thing I wish I was thinking more about is how to better adjust myself so I can get all this homework done so I won’t be doing it last minute like I am right now. It’s not a good habit, not a good habit at all.

Thinking Visually
https://instagram.com/p/zQCeZmE3QR/?taken-by=m.velasquez128

I picked out this picture because it shows two things I admire very much. Basketball is my favorite sport and LeBron James is my favorite player. One of the constant thoughts in my head was basketball and when the playoffs would finally start.

https://instagram.com/p/zQDHmLE3Rk/?taken-by=m.velasquez128

This photo pretty much represents me. These are just a few of my sneakers and if you know me then you’d know how much I love sneakers and clothes overall. This is one of the thoughts I wish I had less of since its so materialistic and won’t allow me to actually gain anything I’m the future

https://instagram.com/p/zQDbB5E3Se/?taken-by=m.velasquez128

This last photo of what I was constantly thinking about during the day is games. If loved games since I was young and that love hasn’t faltered since. This should be the last thing on my mind though since I’m really at the turning point I’m my life where I should be thinking about more important things.

https://instagram.com/p/zQD9cBE3Tj/?taken-by=m.velasquez128

This is a photo of my newborn niece. She represents my family. In the end of the day everything I do and my aspirations to make so much money goes back to them. I want to be able to provide for my family and that’s why they should be the number one thing going on in my mind

https://instagram.com/p/zQQ7ahE3ca/?taken-by=m.velasquez128

This is a photo of my soon to be but broken down car. I picked this photo because is represents the thoughts I should be having like finally getting my license and fixing my car up. I only hope I can start to think more productively.

https://instagram.com/p/zQXXnAE3Yt/?taken-by=m.velasquez128

My last picture is of me and some of my friends. It represents the appreciation I have of for them even if I’d never actually say it until now. Iv gone through a lot and they’ve always been there so I wish I could think more about how to give back to them.

Thinking Reflectively

Wow, It is 2020 already. I really cannot believe its been this long. If you are wondering who this is well, I am you, in five years. Its been a short time but a lot has changed. There are a lot of things I want to tell you. I just recently graduated from school so if you want to graduate too, then just listen to what I have to say. Stay focused. That is the number one thing you should be thinking about. I use to think about clothes, sneakers, basketball and other trivial things like that, but you have to change your thinking. Sure those stuff are fun or cool but they should only be your secondary thoughts. Think about getting yourself promoted at work to gain a little more money on the side to provide for this nice apartment I am living in. Save up the money you make to finally get yourself a decent car instead of wasting it on clothes all the time. Most importantly think about your family and how you will provide for them in the future. You will not be living in that house much longer so find some ways to help them out while you are not there anymore. Four years from now you will be graduating and although its been a hard path, its worth it trust me. I bet you are wondering what it is you end up majoring in. Well that is something you have to figure out. If you keep reading maybe I will give you a hint. You are me so you I know you will figure it out. What I can tell you about is all the thoughts you use to have contrary to all the thoughts you should be having.
Starting college in the first place was pretty hard for me.“ Ehh ill do it tomorrow”. That is probably the number one phrase we use say when I got lazy. That kind of mindset has to change from now on. Stay focused on your future. Surround yourself by people that not only want to be successful but also want to see you become successful. Remember those thoughts you had on train about maybe taking advantage of the long train ride and doing some homework? “Maybe I should do some homework since i’ll be on this train for more than a hour…..nah”. Those little moments like that really affected us in the long run. It becomes a bad habit and leaving things for last minute just became a natural occurrence. This is your chance to stop all that. Planning ahead and getting things done before they even have to be done will really save yourself a great deal of sleepless nights. Think about the big picture and become serious about life. You are not in high school anymore and life at home is not pretty right now, I remember.This brings up another point I would like to share with you about the things you waste your money on.
Ever since you were young money was always an issue in the household. There were times where our parents even believed that we would be evicted from the household. It is my belief that this is why we really love materialistic things to this day. Finally gaining a job at 16 and attaining more money was a big thing. You felt the need to show off at times not only to others but yourself to remind yourself that you actually have money unlike older times. This is what lead to the bad habit of wasting almost the entirety of your money on clothes.
Clothes run your life right now whether you want to admit it or not. You have become materialistic as of late and it is to some extent unhealthy. Taking the right steps starting now is imperative to your future success. You may believe that I am exaggerating but in reality cutting ties with this bad habit is for the best, it will teach you the concept of saving up for something really important in the future. You want to guess where I am living right now? It is definitely not in our parents house anymore and that is because I saved up for this apartment and all the furniture in it. It did not even take these five years to get it too, an opportunity will arise soon where you will hope that you have saved up enough money to finally move out of that house and if you don’t have the money because if your money wasting ways then you will regret all those decisions you made thus far. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. The best thing about all this is that preventing yourself from wasting all the money you have on clothes will actually help you buy even more clothes five years from now. I now have enough money, with moderation of course, to get all the clothes and sneakers my heart desires. Hearing that has to make you wonder what kind of job you will have in five years that provides such an income.
Well for starters let us think about the the job you currently have. I’m sure you can agree Uniqlo is a big upgrade from your first job as a Mcdonald’s employee, but it does not have to stop there. Mcdonald’s was offering you a manager role before you left so why not apply the kind of behavior that led to them offering you that kind of raise to Uniqlo. If you put in more effort to work than you have been lately then by at least a year you you could have gotten a raise at least three times because of the great opportunities this job offers it’s employees. By two years of still being with this retail company you will be a AA2, equal to at least 15 dollars which is a big increase from now. The road to get to this level will not be a easy one though. It is a lot of hard work and unfortunately a tad bit of kissing up to your supervisors. At the end of these two years you learn an abundance of working techniques that provides the success you will have in the future. You begin to challenge yourself by solving problems without the help of a supervisor which in turn makes their life easier and the outlook they have of you more positive. An example would be learning skills on how to deal with rowdy customers, you hate dealing with them so you know your supervisors do too. Take advantage of the opportunities to show off in the workplace, if your co workers begin to say you like to work to much then good job, that is exactly how it should look. Gaining the motivation to be more successful in the workplace and life in general is what will lead the job you really desire after those four years in college.
Go back to the thoughts you had that day you were assigned to write down again. Remember when you started to stray off in thought about basketball after looking at those pictures about all star weekend taped on the trains? One thing in particular that you said was “ i wish i could just make a career out of talking about basketball”. Well you are actually on the right path. Incorporate the love you have for basketball into a job you want to do as a living. This was just a dream at one point, but make it a reality. Five years from now you’re starting off as an upcoming journalist, although it is still a long path from now it will pay off in the end. I’m starting off small by covering the local high school basketball team but you have to start off somewhere.The amount of pay you get from still being a supervisor in Uniqlo and covering that high school is really good too. These are the kind of thoughts you should be having from now on, but there is one last thing you might be forgetting.
Family. They are the reason you want to become successful.Struggling the way you are right now is not how you want them living forever. Get a great job so they won’t have to worry about things like if there will be enough money for next months rent. Think about that photo you took of your baby niece for your class assignment. Become a role model for your future kids and all your nephew and nieces you love so much. This is what drove me to follow my dreams to become and journalist, but it will not end there.
I’d usually end this with a recap about this whole essay but instead I am gonna write about the changes I am willing to start making after hearing from my future self. There is an abundance of information I can take out of this and instill in my life starting today. Challenging myself any time I have the opportunity is a big one as it will teach me how to deal with problems in a convenient way. My family should be going through my head more often instead of just myself and my selfish desires. The biggest thing I can take out of this is motivation and focus. These two things are the things I lack the most. If I had more motivation to do better in school I probably would not have to take that stupid remedial math course which is not even giving me any credits. I probably would have started school a semester earlier like I planned too. If I had more focus I wouldn’t be writing this paper at the last minute like all my homework. I can take a lot out of this essay and that is most likely why it was assigned so I can gain the motivation to grow up and deal with life the right way.

Introduction

In this project, I reflected on my current thoughts with notion to self reflect and see how these thoughts prepared me for the future. Breaking my thoughts into parts allowed me to focus on each one with more depth and detail than the previous. Thinking in writing was an exercise that led me to what my current thoughts were. Thinking visually allowed me to expand my thoughts into images and inspired me to write the ideas and the meanings meant in thinking reflectively. All these categories that I worked on led me to an inspirational paper on “Brainwaves by Penelope Morales.”

Thinking in Writing

Writing down my thoughts for the past 24 hours were difficult. I was constantly looked at the clock every thirty minutes eager to see what I would be thinking about. Majority of the time, I sang music lyrics subconsciously. With my thoughts worth mentioning, I noticed they consisted of my current list of high priorities to-dos. The pattern between my thoughts’ involved me needing to “keep up”. Keep up with my training for the NYC Half marathon in March. Keep up with my doctor’s appointments- due to prior health history, there are a lot of doctors I have to keep in touch with or visit. Also, ambitiously going back to school after twelve years requires a lot of “keeping up”.

Each thought occurred at the same locations, work and home, equal amounts of time. I feel my focus is in the right direction. The only drawback from my thoughts I have is that I don’t want them to consume me, and to achieve that I need to become very diligent with time management.  I noticed I gave little attention to keeping in touch with friends and loved ones. Once I’m able to time-manage, I’m hoping to reach out and spend some quality time with great people.

In analyzing my thought process, I believe my thoughts focus more on “the present”. Although I believe in having and saving for the future, I’m also a “ live in the moment, tomorrow’s not promised” type of gal. I would like to organize “my present” so that “my future” may fall into place.

Thinking Visually

• This photo represents my thoughts on my health history. I pass the blood bank on my way to my doctor’s appointment and it always reminds me of my journey through transplant.

https://instagram.com/p/zOosVlTEot/?taken-by=0920_0413

• This photo represented my thoughts on school. This signage reminds me of my future career. I would achieve this by staying in school and hopefully working in that department.

https://instagram.com/p/zOp8u1zEqX/?taken-by=0920_0413

• This photo represents my thoughts on training for the half marathon. Staying consistent was key in completing the 13.1 miles run. Tracking my runs helped me stay focus and motivated.

https://instagram.com/p/zOoLr6TEoM/?taken-by=0920_0413

• This photo represents my thoughts on the half marathon. All my training was put to the test. Race day finally arrived and finishing the run was a huge accomplishment for me..

https://instagram.com/p/0R1skWzEiM/?taken-by=0920_0413

• This photo represents my thoughts in self-reflection. I need to make quality time to spend with my family and friends. With my work, school and training schedule, finding the time has been difficult.

https://instagram.com/p/zOsMndTEs_/?taken-by=0920_0413

• This photo represents my thoughts in self-reflection. These books remind me of how spiritual I once was. I wish to explore more options of spirituality and personal growth.

https://instagram.com/p/zP6GuVTEnR/?taken-by=0920_0413

Thinking Reflectively

“It is what it is.” Whenever something was out of my control that is exactly how I would address it. Hey, it’s me, year 2020 Penny. Life has been super busy these past couple of years. After receiving a bone marrow transplant back in 2012, life has had plenty of ups and downs. “It is what it is.” Getting diagnosed with leukemia as a young adult was out of my control but from staying positive and overcoming my struggles, I have grown into a survivor, a warrior, and a role model to my family, friends and outside associates. Just five years ago I was trying to “keep up” with doctors’ visits, going back to school full-time- after being on a twelve year hiatus, and training for my first half marathon. “It is what it is.” I got through it. I am a registered radiologic technician at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Doctor visits are annually now at the Cancer Center. How ironic! My first marathon was the first of many runs keeping me active and healthy. I wanted to gain some personal growth and went soul searching around the world. I have passport stamps to prove it! Also, spending a lot of time with family and friends has me now wanting to focus on starting a family. Over the past five years, seeing how far I’ve come reassures me that anything is possible.

April 13, 2012 is the day I received my bone marrow transplant at H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, Florida. Spending 27 days in the hospital was the easy part, seeing I had a 24/7 medical staff at my beck and call. The medical staff was very compassionate, attentive and supportive throughout the entire process. The difficult part was getting discharged from the hospital. On one hand, I was eager to leave. Being confined to half a hospital floor for almost a month, I had missed the feeling of the sun on my face and the breeze of the wind. But, on the other hand, I was terrified. I would no longer have my medical team by my side 24/7. What if something happened and I was not able to get medical attention fast enough, will I die? Will my immune system reject the transplant once I leave the hospital?

My post hospital care consisted of me having to take a minimum of 50 pills a day. I had to be closely monitored by my doctors, so my visits in the beginning were every other day. Doctor appointments would last two to three hours at most, from running multiple tests and waiting on the results. If I had a setback; bad test results or me mentioning pain; blood work would have to be redone and I would possibly have to have scans, CT or MRI, leading to longer hours at the doctor’s office. Seeing how often I was at the hospital, the staff became my second family. The support I felt from them was sincere and genuine. They went beyond their routinely medical profession with personal conversations unrelated to my cancer treatment. I enjoyed our daily discussions on current events and workplace gossip, such as the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Receiving text messages and phone calls after transplant was an added motivation to me realizing that my second family was rooting for me.

As the days passed and the transplant showed signs of success, doctor’s visits went from every other day to once a week. The better I would get, the less amount of times I would see the doctors again. I am currently in the survivorship program at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and I see a bone marrow transplantation doctor every six months. I am anxiously waiting on annual visits, which is a goal. The farther out you see them next means you are doing better. Aside from my cancer center appointments, it is also crucial for me to keep my other “routinely” doctors’ visits due to my health history. I took a photo of the Blood Bank of New York. My diagnosis was leukemia, which is a blood cancer, and seeing the blood bank takes me back to my transplant. When I think back on my journey, I immediately remember my second family and how they made me feel. The nurses and doctors made a huge impact in my recovery process and I too would like to make an impact in some way. They allowed me to feel and believe anything is possible and this has encouraged me to change my career from banking into the medical field and go back to school to become a radiologic technologist.

Becoming a radiologic technologist will allow me to give back to the medical field. It will allow me to help, encourage, and support individuals that are trying to find reasons behind their illness or sickness. Working in the medical field has thus become my purpose in life and I am striving to become as qualified and able as possible so I can have an impact on someone else’s journey in life. I understand I could have gone into any other medical career but radiology just fascinates me. It’s interesting how we have technology that we can use to see beyond the surface of the skin. I am pursuing an Associate’s Degree in Applied Science at New York City College of Technology. My first semester back in school since 2003 and I am currently registered for 14 credits. What was I thinking? My goal is to complete the prerequisites required to enter into the Radiologic Technology and Medical Imaging Program. The Radiologic Technology and Medical Imaging Program only accepts applicants in the Fall semester so I plan on attending Summer and Winter sessions in order to finish up the prerequisites and enter the program by Fall 2016. I took a photo of an elevator sign at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. The elevator sign displays the floor in which a department is on. When I look at this sign and see the department Radiology it speaks to me. I know one day I’ll be working in that department and I’m hoping it will be at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Choosing to go back to school so ambitiously can be stressful. When school gets overwhelming, I focus on the reasons why I want to become a radiologic technologist. To help handle the stress of school and work, I find the time to exercise and through this, I found a passion in running.

My passion for running is in its beginning stage. Running helps clear my mind. When I’m out pounding on the pavement, I feel as if I’m pounding out my problems. Everyone has their way of finding their Zen and running is how I find mine. Three years ago, I could barely run a mile, and now I’m training for a half marathon. Anything is possible and running this marathon is another accomplishment in my journey towards achieving the impossible. By staying physically active after transplant, I am hoping to improve my quality of life and lower my risk for secondary cancer. On my first “cancer-versary”, I celebrated by doing my first 5k- The Color Run. This run opened doors to many 5ks but I wanted a challenge. The challenge of running a marathon! Running a marathon was always a health goal of mine so when I received a brochure from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society asking recruits to raise money for a cure while guaranteeing them a spot in the NYC Half Marathon, I couldn’t resist! To ensure a spot, I had to raise $1700.00, which was achievable through the support of my family, friends, and colleagues. That was a walk in the park! The difficult part was the training and the discipline it requires to run in a half marathon. Eating healthy, training hard, and getting lots of rest are just a few of things I had to discipline myself into doing. My training started in November and consisted of running 3x a week and two days of cross training. The beginning of my training was easy but over the weeks it proved to be difficult with the increase in mileage I had to run and the brutal days of winter. There were times I wanted to give up. Having to work and attend school, I could have had an excuse to stop training but I didn’t. I pushed through it and couldn’t let my supporters down and most importantly, myself. I had my photo taken with my medal when I crossed the finished line. Finishing this marathon was such an accomplishment for me. It helped reveal a newfound love I have with fitness, as well as myself. This achievement has allowed me to think about other things in my life that could use a little more TLC, like quality time with my family and friends, and working on my faith and spiritual growth.

With a lot going on, I do not want to lose sight of the small things in life, like spending quality time with my friends and family. Now that my training is over, it has freed up some time, which I can now make an effort to spend quality time with everyone. I have a collage of photos that hangs above my bed. Everyone in those photos means the world to me. From my health, to going back to school, to completing my first marathon, I have so much to be grateful for. Believing in myself and having faith has helped me get to where I am today. I want to continue to better myself not just physically but mentally as well.

Having experienced life as a cancer patient has made me want live a healthier lifestyle, push my limits, and strive to become better physically, mentally and spiritually. Prioritizing my life will benefit me in the long run and will allow me to set short term goals with long-term results and memories. These past couples of years have been a roller coaster, but there is no ride that I cannot imagine being on then the ride called life. My shortcomings have proven to be inspiring, motivating, and freeing to my spirit.

Introduction

In this project, I created a mind set on what I need to think about more in order to be where I want to be in five years. To do this, I recorded my thoughts for a day and summarized them, noting any patterns and frequent thoughts that I had. Based on this data, I selected pictures to represent a thought. Three pictures represent my frequent thoughts, and three represent what I need to be thinking of more. Afterwards, I created an essay, in the person of myself in five years, about what I need to do in order to know what I should be thinking about and the steps I should take in order to achieve it.

Thinking in Writing

My thoughts throughout the day were relatively different, but they all had a certain flow to it. One thought would be about a certain anime I like to watch, while another would be about something that has to do with school, while another would be about my family or friends, and then it would round back to anime. I noticed that, while my thoughts branch from one thing to the other, that they relatively revolve around things like worrying about school, music and anime (Japanese animation). This is shown when I wake up thinking of an anime theme, and when I think of nothing but anime as I watch a few episodes before bed that night. Although, in between my thoughts ranged from worrying about my school work to thinking I should learn how to cook. I also noticed that when I do think of something important, I always find something else to think about in order to avoid it. I realize I should be thinking about other things, like my family and future more. Though, I do not want to stress myself, it would still be better to have some kind of plan for the future instead of just “going with the flow”.

Thinking Visually

Thought: cooking https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1377016742615979&set=pb.100009229984521.-2207520000.1424670358.&type=3&theater

this photo represents what I should think about. I don’t know how to cook well and feel like its one of the skills I should learn but haven’t gotten around to yet.

Thought: studies https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1377016662615987&set=pb.100009229984521.-2207520000.1424670358.&type=3&theater

This photo represents what I think about a lot, which is my studies. Since I always stress about my grades, I’m often thinking about assignments and when they are due and how I’m going to do them.

Thought: hobbies https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1377016722615981&set=pb.100009229984521.-2207520000.1424670358.&type=3&theater

This photo represents what I usually think about, which are my hobbies. I am a big anime fan and listen to music almost all the time. it makes up a large part of who I am

Thought: family https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1377016699282650&set=pb.100009229984521.-2207520000.1424670358.&type=3&theater

This photo represents family, which is what I want to be thinking of more. I often call my niece “cupcake” and my brother “munchkin”. I want to be able to think about them more and communicate with them more. I also want to be successful to make them proud.

Thought: friends https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1377016975949289&set=pb.100009229984521.-2207520000.1424670358.&type=3&theater

this photo represents what I usually think about, which is my friends. Ive known most of them for years and I talk to most of them periodically.

Thought: future https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1377017555949231&set=pb.100009229984521.-2207520000.1424670358.&type=3&theater

This photo represents what I want to think about more, which is my future. I plan on being an engineer, and when people think of engineer they think of robots and technology. I used to be in robotics and this was the type of robot we used to use and program. It is a big reason why I want to be an engineer.

Thinking Reflectively

Five years from now, I do not think my life is going to be much different from how it is now. I hope I would manage to graduate college after four years and find a position doing something engineering related, even if it is a part-time job until I can move on to bigger and better things. My desired field of work is challenging, and I know I will have a lot of struggle, not only in these five past years but in the years to come. There are some things I think about a lot, and some that I need to be thinking about more in order to stay on the right path. While I think a lot about anime, music, studying, and my friends, my thoughts should revolve around learning to cook, my family, and thinking of my future and how to achieve it.

In order to ensure success five years from now, you should think of my family more. You and your family are not the closest, but that is something that must be changed. The picture you took to represent this thought is a cupcake, which symbolizes your niece. You always call her a cupcake and whenever you say the word, she is the one who comes to mind. Family can be stressful occasionally, but they are still an important factor of one’s life. You noticed how in your thought log, any thoughts concerning your family were short lived. This was shown where there are only thoughts about any responsibilities you have towards my family, like picking up your niece from school every Tuesday evening, or making something to eat for the little ones. If you were to think of my family more often, not only would you be closer to your family but you would feel like you have succeeded as a family member and would have a support system to succeed in all other aspects. As of right now, you put your friends before your family. This is shown how in your thought log, you are thinking of your friends every few minutes. This is usually because you are either talking to them on social media websites like Facebook, or you are texting them throughout the day. Although keeping a close relationship with your friends is a positive thing, you should think of your family just as much, if not more, than you think of your friends. As your mother used to always quote to your, friends come and go, but family is forever. Therefore, instead of thinking only of your friends, you need to think more of your family in order to help you achieve what you want in my life. Therefore, for your future self to achieve your goals, your current self has to focus more on spending time with her family rather than on Facebook or out with friends all the time.

The second thing you should think more about is your future. Since you do find yourself thinking and worrying about your grades and schoolwork, as shown in your thought log when you worry about this project, you know keeping up your grades for a brighter future important. However, this is the short-term, immediate issue. In order to be successful and finish school to start working on your career in five years, you must think along the lines of your future, where you want to be, your career, and most importantly how you are going to achieve all of this. Your future includes graduating with your bachelors in Mechanical Engineering, get a well-paying job or internship in the engineering field and becoming an Aerospace Engineer after you get your masters. This is proven in how you selected a picture of a robot to represent the thought “future.” The reason for this is because this is where you see yourself in five years, after you graduate college. At this moment in time, most of your thoughts revolve around school work. You often worry about passing and, as a result, often stress yourself out in order to try and do better so you do not end up failing and having to stay in college for an additional semester. And while this stress is not good, you feel like studying now is simply the first step to your goal of graduating within five years so you can get a good job and become successful. Therefore, in order to be where you want to be in five years, you have to think beyond school and think about your future and how to attain what you want in life as well.

According to your thought log, you spend a lot of time thinking about anime, and less time thinking of learning useful skills, like how to cook. In order for you to achieve success in five years, learning how to cook is a must. It is not only a key to your survival, but it is the one useful skill that can make you feel independent and accomplished. When you took the picture of the pots and food to represent the thought “learn to cook,” the one who was cooking was yourself. When you managed to finish the meal and serve myself, you felt a sense of accomplishment because it was an actual meal that you did not have to warm up and you did not burn it like the many other previous attempts at cooking. However, your thought log reflects that most of your attention is on Anime. And because you are thinking of it, a large portion of your time is spent watching anime or reading manga, or doing anything anime related in general. This is proven based on the fact most of your thought log had anime related thoughts because you were either reading or watching it. And while it is okay to relax every once in a while with an episode or two, it should not be so time consuming, to the point most of your thoughts revolve around this one thing. You will not be able to learn how to cook if you spend all of my time watching anime. Therefore, you must think of anime less in order to be where you want to be in five years.

Based on what my future self says, in order to be successful and where I want to be in the next five years, I must spend less time thinking about anime, my friends, and stressing over my studies in order to think more about my family, future, and survival, like learning how to cook. In order to put this into practice, I will start by limiting my time on my laptop and out with my friends. Instead, that time will be spent with my family. I will also spend some of the time I use stressing about school to look into helpful tips and internships in the engineering field, this way I can be a bit more secure in what I am doing and how successful I will be. In addition, I will put time spent watching anime into learning how to cook. With this plan set, in five years I will have graduated college and started a part-time job within the engineering field, where I will then move forward with myself and my career.

Introduction:

This project had me write down a days worth of thoughts and see if there was a pattern with my thoughts. After gathering these thoughts I was to write a paragraph about my thoughts to explain on why I had them and what I would like to be thinking about. After these thoughts I was to take pictures to represent my thoughts and what I would like to be thinking about. Finally I was write an essay representing myself 5 years from now and gathering these goals and explaining to my past self what I needed to do to be able to have the future I had set for myself.

Thinking in Writing:

Writing your thoughts at the bottom of every hour was no easy task despite how easy it sounds. I reviewed my thoughts and didn’t see a pattern. It would vary at the bottom of every hour but one thing i noticed about my thoughts it was more stress involved than pondering about random things. For example before I went to bed at 12:30 A.M. I was thinking about how I was going to work and go to school at the same time. I’d usually think about how I’m going to balance school and work once I was able to find a job so I can be more financially secure than just relying on financial aid from the state. I would’ve like to have been thinking about managing school work just alone because it’s been 3 years since I have really put my brain through the studying and deep thinking my classes make me do. I’m just thinking about my future after I have hopefully graduated from City Tech and earned up money along the way by working and attending college.

Thinking Visually:

https://instagram.com/p/zOKbi3hlP6/?taken-by=ramos.a316

This is the patriots logo a football team that recently won the superbowl. It represent my thoughts of sports and how much I watch it on television.

https://instagram.com/p/zOLkSWBlB6/

This twenty dollar bill represents my thought about money and how much I worry about paying for school and being able to support myself. Its a thought that happens a lot without me being aware about it.

https://instagram.com/p/zOMK8BhlC1/

My thoughts about video games is one I constantly try to suppress. Being in college after taking some time off is proving to be a difficult task for me since in my off time I’d spend the majority of my time playing video games.

https://instagram.com/p/zONUgVhlEg/

This is the logo of a restaurant I used to work in as a food runner and busboy. It represents my thoughts about wanting to go back to work and save up money to be able to support myself while I attend college.

https://instagram.com/p/zOPLYIhlIK/

The City Tech logo represents a thought of how much I want to focus more on my classes. I want to improve my ability to focus on class assignments and be able to be successful.

https://instagram.com/p/zOWKS1BlEw/

My baby sister in her 2 year old birthday party on Valentines day. She represents what I want my thoughts to be about my family and to spend more of my time I have with her and the rest of my family.

Thinking Reflectively:

It is the year 2020 and I have graduated from City Tech. I have a well paying job in the electrical mechanical engineering field something I thought would change throughout my time in college. I’m living in a house with my family feeling great that I am sharing this success with my loved ones. It was tough road but I made it and I had to change the way my brain had thoughts throughout the day. I would tell my past self to change the way i think. Dedicate yourself more to your family and studies. Try to balance it by also having a part time job to earn up some money while in school. Make a list of the goals you want to achieve and the changes you want to see within yourself to be able to achieve the success I am at in the year 2020. I know you crave success and look where I am better yet look where we are, it sounds difficult but it is a challenge we will complete and win.

To attain the future i set myself five years from now I need to focus more on school. There are a lot of distractions that are hindering my ability to devote more time into my studies. Video games are the one of the major distractions that is holding me back from focusing more in school. Although it is a good way to distract myself from college work and not stressing myself a lot I need to regulate the amount of time I do spend on gaming. If i were to make a set amount of time during each week that I do spend playing video games I feel that it would help me focus more time on school. The City Tech logo I took a picture of is what I want my thought about spending more time being involved with my school assignments. Participating in class can help me be more involved and show my professors that I do want to succeed in their class. Spending time in the library would also help me read to stimulate my brain. If you need any help do not be afraid to reach out to people that can help you. Remember that having a tutor does not mean your slow but that you need help to learn and understand things that are taught within a classroom. If you do find yourself stressed out with school work by all means take some time in relieving that stress. Learn to work hard and have fun because stress is something that should not be brushed aside. In the long run this would be the first step to being able to achieve the success I myself five years from now. It is a challenge but I have overcome a lot of difficult situations that held me back from attending college but I manage to overcome them and I am a student at New York City College of Technology. If I want to be someone with the bright future I set myself in focusing more on school is the perfect way to start

Angel I know we would have thoughts about money a lot. The thought about not being financially secure is one that would keep us up at night. Instead of thinking about this take this as a sign that we need should look for a part time job. Save whatever money you make and manage your spendings. The picture of the Brendan’s Bar & Grill is the visual of what we want our thought to be. It is to be working again and gaining experience in the work field and the desire to feel financially secure. If you balance this out with college work this should be an indication that you do want to be successful and that you would work hard to achieve financial stability. Five years from now you will be using the things you learned in college with your electrical mechanical degree. Working a job that you are passionate about will be different from the job you had as a busboy/food runner. Remember those long nights and getting home at one or two in the morning after work. Having a nine to five job sounds a lot better than wearing yourself out working a job you do not like. Let this serve as motivation to network with people that work in the field you want to study. Creating relationships with people that work in the same field you want to be will motivate you to keep working hard to get the job that they have. These same relationships can also help you start your career shortly after graduating. Remember that after graduating a job will be waiting for us. This same job will thrust us into the path that we hope to see ourselves in.

Family is something that is very near and dear to us. Remember our thoughts about sports and video games. The time spent playing video games would often keep you from spending time with loved ones. Creating lies just to spend the night at home gaming. November 21,2014 we lost a friend way too early. This opened up our eyes about how time is precious and the amount of pain and tears one feels when they lose someone who originally thought would have more time to spend with. Your youngest sister is two years old and your parents are not getting any younger. Let this help you think more about your family and spend more time with them. The memories you create will last a lifetime and you will not feel as if there are things you wish you would have done. Living in a house alone is not how we picture ourselves so this success will humble us and have our family move in with us. Coming home to see your family after a days work is definitely better than coming to an empty house. Also having people to share your success will feel good especially if it is your family. Put aside the gaming and watching sports alone and spend more time with your family because they will be proud to see you successful in 2020 having graduated from college and working a job you love. Remember to stay humble and work hard because we both know that we hold the key to our future and no one can take that away from you.

Life has its obstacles but we have the power to break through those same obstacles and shape our future. Make goals in life that you would like to achieve and attain the success you desire. It requires a lot of work but remember nothing in life is handed to you. Work hard and do not give up while bettering yourself and the people around you, specifically your family that you love. The journey you take will help you achieve this success I have in the year 2020. Remember these changes I am telling you to make in your thoughts will break you out the prison that you feel you are in within your mind. These changes will thrust you into the path that will show the greatness and untapped potential that is hidden inside.