Final Reflection Draft.

First and foremost, I have known and now know for sure that I am a truly honest lazy person. Honest because I neither promise to complete my work (because I know I would fail and feel bad about not fulfilling my promise), nor do I console myself by providing excuses for my lack of interest. At first (the beginning of the semester), I was unhappy at myself for being indifferent to the situations I faced not only as a student, but as a teenager who was getting ready to face life. However, as I progressed through this semester, I have discovered the importance of consistency and enthusiasm in our daily lives. So much so that I started replacing coffee with water. I started falling in love with this new approach I had discovered, and I wanted to keep it. I felt good about myself. I was completing my schoolwork before their deadlines which was relatively new to me and I had time to work on the completion of the works that were due in the future.

Then came the time period where I could not sit for a minute without thinking about what to do next, I was not doing anything at all (physically) because I was on top of all the deadlines but my mind was completely occupied by thoughts and problems of the future. When I caught myself during this constant anticipation, I thought, “this is a good thing. I am being an opportunist and I am working hard when the sun is shining, as they say”. Now this approach of mine did not come without its own set of problems. The most prominent one being the constant occupation of my mind, leaving no time for breaks and always feeling impatient.

Then the next transition of my approach would take place when I worked on a writing assignment, an assignment that required one to recall one’s childhood and write down what one’s dreams were as a child. When I was working on this, I went through a series of joyful and sad memories, all of which I wanted to keep. I was immersed into thinking about all the moments I shared with so many wonderful people, a few of whom I will never see again. I did not want to forget all these beautiful experiences and thinking about them only brought a mixture of joy and sadness. I was ‘nostalgic’.

The third and most important transition of my realization and understanding of myself would occur due to the kindness of my teacher. I was not entirely focused on my school as I was also working on studying Buddhist philosophy. My dear teacher, Khenpo Norgay, would give me simple instructions. Instructions that allowed me to relate to the teachings of the Buddha and integrate them directly into my daily life. I did not pay much attention to this part of my education and interest up until recently and it had a profound impact on me. (it seems I was missing the point all along) My teacher told me that the past had perished, and it did not exist at present. No matter where you look, you cannot find the past. We may think about the past, but it is simply nonexistent. The future has not come, and in that context, it is also nonexistent. We can also look for the future wherever we want, it is simply not there. Indifference of the present moment was no different than being lost in the thoughts of the past or thinking about the future that was nonexistent because one still misses the present by being indifferent to it. Now what should we do in this case? We should appreciate our present experience with a sense of humor, a sense of humor because by taking the present too seriously, we allow it slip away and cannot enjoy it or appreciate it to its full extent. This approach brought profound insight, an insight to the purpose of my existence, not in a spiritual way but in a direct and practical way.

I want to use this insight to help people take a more direct approach to life. An approach that is not guided by the thoughts and emotions of the past, one that is not anticipating the future and one that does not live in indifference. I want people to live full lives, to actually experience what they are doing and take joy in it. I want to allow people to appreciate their own existence by spreading this insight  As for the evidence of my uniform transition, I have included a few quotes from my work.

“Dear future self,

You have put up with all the dire situations you have come across till now and I am proud of you. However, you know that you are a bit lazy and that you love to procrastinate. I hope by the time you get to read this note again, you have learnt to discipline yourself and by discipline I specifically mean getting your work done and using your time in the most efficient way.(the indifferent approach)”-time capsule.

“I haven’t come across a norm that states that education should be for success, authority or wealth. When we think of education, the first image we perceive is studying to become a successful person right? Well, we are not wrong to hold such conceptions but what if education was something much more than that? What if education had a bigger purpose? Thoughts and questions such as these may not seem logical or even sane, but if we take some time to examine education, unbelievably simple yet great secrets unfurl. (getting excited with the future of my education and where it will lead me)”-Unit 1 essay

“As a kid I was fascinated when I got to travel and experience different cultures and play with different animals. I loved how I would bond with nature and I wished my life would be a rather exciting one filled with the unpredictable situations and challenges (nostalgic transition)”-bad ideas about writing.