We are now writing longer essays and thinking more about how to integrate the ideas of other writers with our own.  I have selected a few random samples from papers I’ve recently received to provide examples of what to look for in your own work and how to improve.  Here are the three samples.  What works?  What could be stronger?

1. To begin with, a building is being built across the street from my building, which is where an abandoned house used to be.  My building used to be the only building on my block and was surrounded by houses.  Now, I see that there’s a project for the houses on my block to be replaced by buildings.  As Brian Paul states, “people now flooding the neighborhood.”  This supports my point because there’s going to be a population overflow of people on my block, which would lead to more problems.  Now with even more people moving in, I know that my block is bound to get worse. {Conclusion continues.]
2. Brian Paul also stated “. . .tracing the connections between affordable development and the explosion of luxury construction reveals that it also may be fueling gentrification & housing segregation.”  The City and local developers should make fewer investments in such luxurious constructions and put more into affordable housing, the problem, which they claim they are trying to solve.  These are changes that will not only affect the higher class people, but it will also affect the average New Yorker.
3. As a matter of fact, Brian Paul in his essay “Affordable House Policies May Spur Gentrification, Segregation” describes what Manuel Zuniga had to go through due to gentrification .  Paul explains before and after the situation that took place with Manuel Zuniga because of gentrification.  The author tells us that Manuel Zuniga was living in a good neighborhood because many things have improved.  At the same time, the rent has also increased, which made Zuniga angry because it was too much for him.  Manuel Zuniga couldn’t move to any area where he would be able to afford because that area would be too dangerous for his family, as Paul stated.  Brian Paul also added, “But what has not been examined is the possiblity that the city’s market-based affordable housing system may actually contribute to, rather than alleviate, this pattern of gentrification and displacement.” By this, Paul is trying to say that gentrification keeps increasing instead of the city fixing the issues of affordable housing.

For another look at these samples with suggested changes, go here:

Integrating-Sources-Samples-and-Fixes