Prof. Jessica Penner | OL10 | Spring 2021

Yasmine Blair, Coates’ Critique

When I first started to read the passage I wasn’t sure where it was going. I had to backtrack a lot and reread to fully grasp certain things. Eventually I was able to decipher what was going on. First the narrator talks of his mother, describing her qualities and the fact that she was said to be a good dancer. The way he talks of his mother it can be implied that he doesn’t know her maybe he could’ve died when he was really young. The writer says “ And more than that, I remembered because I remembered everything— everything, it seemed, except her.” It sounds as though all the things he knows of his mother is not of memory but more so what people have told him about his mother. As the chapter progresses we learn of Maynard who is said to be the narrators brother whom he doesn’t seem too fond of because his brother seems to be a burden. On their way home something causes them to have an accident and crash ending up in the water. This particular scene that the narrator describes I liked because the descriptiveness makes you almost try to picture what he could have possibly been going through within that moment. He writes “… the water rushing into me, and that particular burning agony that comes only to the drowning.” And I knew exactly what she was talking about because I myself have nearly drowned before and with the water that you inhale it does cause a burning feeling . He also goes on to say “There is no sensation like drowning, because the feeling is not merely agony, but a bewilderment at so alien a circumstance. The mind believes that there should be air, since there is always air to be had, and the urge to breathe is such a matter of instinct…” these lines help me picture the start of her struggle as she begins to drown, making me feel a sense of anxiety wondering how or if the narrator will get out of this situation. Now not only is the narrator drowning but so is his brother, he contemplates if he can or even should save his brother being that, that’s all he has ever done apparently. I believe that based on the wording it sounds as though he doesn’t save him or himself for that matter. They both meet with the lady in blue who I think portrays their mother signifying their end . Overall the chapter was intriguing to read especially due to the descriptiveness and intensity. 

8 Comments

  1. aaamrin

    Hey Yasmin! I totally feel you when you said you weren’t sure where this reading was going. I also had to reread the whole thing at least 3 times to actually understand what is happening. I really love how descriptive the whole thing was also like it was just so intriguing as if we were there.

  2. sumayah

    I agree, The way the author was very descriptive in his story was so helpful!! it allows us readers to better understand to what was really going on in the story,

  3. Zhen Deng

    I agree with “…the chapter was intriguing to read especially due to the descriptiveness and intensity.” because Goates did a good job describing the drowning scene, he used conversations between Hiram and his brother to show us the desperate mental state that they were in.

  4. Rakib Hassan

    I agree that the text was confusing at first, I needed to read it one more times to understand what was going on because the author was very descriptive .

  5. Aaron Moore

    The read very much was quite confusing, so to suddenly start understanding what was going on in the second half of the chapter (given its content) was quite shocking, especially due to the amount of detail.

  6. Felix Mejia

    I agree that the author made it seem like it was starting halfway, but as more, you read more is revealed about what the story was going to be about.

  7. Eamon Bolger

    I really like the way that you visualized the narrator during the drowning part of the story. While I saw it as more of an internal struggle for the narrator you focused on the external struggle which makes it seem much more interesting to read. I also agree that the descriptiveness that is in the story really helps set the story.

  8. NadreaPT

    I agree with you Yasmine, I felt the same way when first reading it. I had to read again to gain some understanding of the story. When the author is descriptive it helps me as well.

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