Have you ever wished you can make wishes and get what you want? As a kid I always believe in fairies. It all happen on a summer morning, I was 9 at the time. I was playing in a park when all sudden I ran into this beautiful butterfly. She was blue with little sparkles on her wings. She landed on my hand, and I was breath taking of how her wings shine in the sun light. I asked her âwhat is a beautiful butterfly doing here?â she responds, âI make wishes and make your life happy.â As soon as she spoke, she transforms herself into a fairy. I was so shocked and intrigue. She introduces herself and I did the same, she told me she can only make 3 wishes and after they are all done, she gets to leave and help another kid who needs wishes. We made a deal and every time I need to make a wish just say, âfairy I need help!â We said our goodbyes and I ran back to my mom. On my way home I couldnât think of any wishes to make, I was happy with my mom. We were booth happy, so I had no clue what to wish for. However, little did I knew things will change for me and my mom. A couple days pass and I saw one morning my mom crying and looking at me. She told me, âAre you happy with me? Do you wish to be with your dad?â I looked at her and told her, âIâm very happy with you, Iâm so happy that I donât ever want to leave by your side.â With that my mom was happy and stop crying, but I still didnât understand why she would ask me about my dad. Since he had left us, I was much happier with my mom, and we were in a good place. The next day my mom woke me up early and told me I wasnât going to school. She said we had an important appointment. When we arrive to the court, I was confused why we were here, but I follow her and thought that everything will be fine. We sat in this waiting area, and I saw these older men sit and when he turns around, I saw it was my father. I was shocked and I didnât want to let go of my motherâs hand. This man calls my mom and dad in while I had to wait outside. It felt like hours they were inside. She comes out and told me we must come again tomorrow. The next day we head back to the court, and like yesterday I had to sit and wait. However, things felt different. A nice lady comes out and tells me I need to follow her. I do what Iâm being told. When I entre I see a lady judge, my mom, and my dad. When I arrive, the judge introduce herself asking questions about my relationship with my parents. Next tells me with who I wanted to stay with and explain why. I reply, âWith my mom because I feel safe and happy with her. I want her next to me until the day I canât be with her.â She told me I could leave and my mom comes out next.  We went home and she explain what had just happen. I ran to my room crying and I screamed, âFairy I need helpâ withing seconds she appear she asked me, âwhatâs wrong?â she looked worry and sad I tell her the horrible day I had. She tells me, âReady to make your wish?â I reply, âI wish to be with my mom. I also wish the judge chooses I get to stay with my mom. I also wish we donât ever have to go throw anything like this or anything that will make us apart.â And with that all my 3 wishes were gone and all I had to do was wait for tomorrow and see how it all comes true. The next day was the biggest day of my life, we arrive and again I was in the waiting room waiting for her. When I see those two doors open, I see her running towards me and tells me, âI have you and you will never be away from me.â Thatâs all needed to hear to make me realize my wish came true. Until this day I donât regret making those wishes, was the best 3 wishes I could ask for. If I had to do it again I will. I miss my fairy but Iâm glad I meet her.Â
1. The ending is pretty wholesome. Thereâs the idea that the fairy is giving wishes to children who probably canât use their wishes responsibly.
2. The dialogue does a good job of expressing the emotions of the characters
3. For the dialogue with multiple back and forth, separate the dialogue into multiple lines
4. Turn this: âShe introduces herself and I did the same, she told me she can only make 3 wishes and after they are all done, she gets to leave and help another kid who needs wishes. We made a deal and every time I need to make a wish just say, âfairy I need help!â We said our goodbyesâ into dialogue.
I enjoyed that this short story is really wholesome
The dialogue really gave emotion to the story
Good job on this story
I liked the overall story, and the vibe on how the story played out and made it seem like a nice story
I liked the emotion and the dialogue and how it helped intervene with the flow
Just add some more dialogue to strengthen the story and make it better