My dad and I have very different ethical values. Given our age difference, the different experiences we’ve had, the fact that he grew up in an entirely different country and didn’t have the same educational background, having different ethical values is almost inevitable. Even then, he is still an anomaly within my family, as his values and beliefs seem to be the most unique within the family, even when compared to my mother.
One of the key things I frequently disagree with is personal responsibility. I have the sense that my dad believes that it is his duty to “guide” his children to forming proper habits. To some degree, his view is justified, given that he is our father. The main issue I have with this philosophy is its overbearing nature and the fact that he doesn’t attempt to understand why my brother and I do the things we do before trying to correct them. One example of the former is when he tries to tell my brother what he is and isn’t allowed to eat during dinner. My brother is 23, and it’s not like he’s buying his own food; he’s eating the food that my family agrees to have and that my mother is willing to cook. I always get annoyed when this happens, as I believe something like your diet is your own responsibility after you become an adult. My dad insists that he’s worried my brother is going to be overweight, even though his current weight is in a healthy range, and while that is a legitimate issue, my brother’s weight is his responsibility, not my dad’s. I would be amicable if he only does what my mother does: remind my brother to watch his weight and try to encourage healthier eating. However, he insists on demanding that my brother not eat certain foods during dinner, which I think crosses the line of minding your own business.
I will relent that part of this is the general annoyance I have when my dad tries to lecture me on advice. I think most people in general hate being advised by their parents, even if the advice is in good faith and based on proper evidence. I will personally argue that while my father’s advice is always in at least reasonable faith, he’s over-reliant on his experiences rather than evidence based reasoning. He always harks on his extra years or experience as justification for his correctness whenever I try to disagree with him. I find this annoying, as no matter how much I think about my decisions, or how much research I put into them, my dad will always insist he is correct based on his “experiences.” It is even more frustrating when I know objectively that his opinions are based on factually incorrect evidence.